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who gives her a bottle, he pretended he had bought of Mr. Partridge, the conjurer. This, said he, I gave ten guineas for. The virtue of the enchanted liquor (said he that sold it) is such, that if the woman you marry proves a scold (which, it seems, my dear niece, is your misfortune; as it was your good mother's before you), let her hold three spoonfuls in her mouth for a full half hour after you come home-but I find I am not in humour for telling a tale; and nothing in nature is so ungraceful as story-telling against the grain; therefore take it as the author has given it to you*,
A TALE-FOR THE LADIES.
Miss Molly, a fam'd Toast, was fair and young,
Sir John was smitten, and confess'd his flame,
Her voice was shrill, and rather loud than sweet;
By four the knight would get his business done,
* Thefe veises are by Mr. William Harrison.
My lady with her tongue was still prepar'd,
"Hey! hoop! d'ye hear my damn'd obstreperous spouse; What, can't you find one bed about the house?
Will that perpetual clack lie never still?
That rival to the softness of a mill !
Some couch and distant room must be my choice,
'Tis water call'd, but worth its weight in wine.
If in his sullen airs Sir John should come,
Three spoonfuls take, hold in your mouth-then mum.
But, dearest niece, keep this grand secret close,
A water bottle 's brought for her relief;
The bonny knight reels home exceeding clear,
Entering, he cries, "Hey! where's our thunder fed!
Madam, aside, an ample mouthful takes,
Wondering, he star'd, scarcely his eyes believ'd,
"Why how now, Molly, what's the crotchet now?"
"Nay, kiss me, Molly-for I'm much inclin'd.”
'Twas us'd and gone-then midnight ftorms arose,
St. James's Coffee-house, April 13.
Letters from Venice say, the disappointment of their expectation to see his Danish Majesty has very much disquieted the Court of Rome. Our last advices from Germany inform us, that the Minister of Hanover has urged the Council at Ratisbonne to exert themselves in behalf of the common cause, and taken the liberty to say, That the dignity, the virtue, the prudence of his Electoral Highness, his master, were called to the head of their affairs in vain, if they thought fit to leave him naked of the proper means, to make those excellences useful for the honour and safety of the empire. They write
from Berlin of the thirteenth, O. S. That the true design of General Fleming's visit to that Court was, to insinuate that it will be for the mutual interest of the King of Prussia and King Augustus to enter into a new alliance; but that the Ministers of Prussia are not inclined to his sentiments. We hear from Vienna, that his Imperial Majesty has expressed great satisfaction in their High Mightinesses having communicated to him the whole that has passed in the affair of a peace. Though there have been practices used by the agents of France, in all the Courts of Europe, to break the good understanding of the allies, they have had no other effect, but to make all the members concerned in the alliance more doubtful of their safety from the great offers of the enemy. The Emperor is roused by this alarm, and the frontiers of all the French dominions are in danger of being insulted the ensuing campaign. Advices from all parts confirm, that it is impossible for France to find way to obtain so much credit, as to gain any one potentate of the allies, or conceive any hope for safety from other prospects.
From my own Apartment, April 13.
I find it of very great use, now I am setting up for a writer of news, that I am an adept in astrological speculations; by which means I avoid speaking of things which may offend great persons. But, at the same time, I must not prostitute the liberal sciences so far, as not to utter the truth in cases which do not immediately concern the good of my native country. I must therefore contradict what has been so assuredly_reported by the news-writers of England, That France is in the most deplorable, condition, and that their people die in great multitudes. I will therefore let the world know, that my correspondent, by the way of Brussels, informs
me upon his honour, That the gentleman who writes the Gazette of Paris, and ought to know as well as any man, has told him, that ever since the King has been past his sixty-third year, or grand climacteric, there has not died one man of the French nation who was younger than his Majesty, except a very few, who were taken suddenly near the village of Hockstet in Germany; and some more, who were straitened for lodging at a place called Ramilies, and died on the road to Ghent and Bruges. There are also other things given out by the allies, which are shifts below a conquering nation to make use of. Among others it is said, There is a general murmuring among the people of France, though at the same time all my letters agree, that there is so good an understanding among them, that there is not one morsel carried out of any market in the kingdom, but what is delivered upon credit.
N° 3. SATURDAY, APRIL 16, 1709.
Quicquid agunt bomines.
noftri eft farrago libelli.
JUV. Sat. 1. 85, 86.
Whate'er men do, or say, or think, or dream,
Will's Coffee-house, April 14.
THIS evening the comedy called the Country Wife was acted in Drury-lane, for the benefit of Mrs. Bignell. The part which gives name to the play