Fal. Well: mistress Ford :-what of her? Quick. Why, Sir, she's a good creature. Lord, lord! your worship's a wanton: Well, heaven forgive you, and all of us, I pray! Fal. Mistress Ford;-come, mistress Ford, Quick. Marry, this is the short and the long of it; you have brought her into such a canaries, as 'tis wonderful. The best courtier of them all, when the court lay at Windsor, could never have brought her to such a canary. Yet there has been knights, and lords, and gentlemen, with their coaches; I warrant you, coach after coach, letter after letter, gift after gift; stelling so sweetly, (all musk,) and so rust fing, I warrant you, in silk and gold; and in such alligant terms; and in such wine and sugar of the best, and the fairest, that would have won any woman's heart; and, I warrant you, they could never get an eye-wink of her.-I had myself twenty angels given me this morning but I defy all angels, (in any such sort, as they say,) but in the way of honesty :-and, I warrant you, they could never get her so much as sip on a cup with the proudest of them all and yet there has been earls, nay, which is more, pensioners; but, I warrant you, all is one with her. Fal. But what says she to me? be brief, my good she Mercury. Quick. Marry, she hath received your letter; for the which she thanks you a thousand times : and she gives you to notify, that her husband will be absence from his house between ten aud eleven. Fal. Ten and eleven ? Quick. Ay, forsooth; and then you may come and see the picture, she says, that you wott of; -master Ford, her husband, will be from home. Alas! the sweet woman leads an ill life with him; he's a very jealousy man; she leads a very frampold life with him, good beart. Fal. Ten and eleven: Woman, commend me to her: I will not fail her. Quick. Why, you say well: But I have another messenger to your worship: Mistress Page bath her hearty commendations to you too; and let me tell you in your ear, she's as fartuous a civil modest wife, and one (I tell you) that will not miss your morning nor evening prayer, as any is in Windsor, whoe'er be the other and she bade me tell your worship, that her husband is seldom from home; but, she hopes, there will come a time. I never knew a woman so dote upon a man; surely, I think you have charms, la; yes, in truth. Fal. Not I, I assure thee; setting the attraction of my good parts aside, I have no other charms Quick. Blessing on your heart for't! Fat. But, I pray thee, tell me this: has Ford's wife, and Page's wife, acquainted each other how they love me ? • A mistake of Mrs. Quickly's for quandaries. ↑ Know. 1 Fretful, peevish. Quick. That were a jest, indeed !-they have not so little grace, I hope;-that were a trick, indeed! But mistress Page would desire you to send her your little page of all loves; ⚫ her husband has a marvellous infection to the little page: and, truly, master Page is an honest man. never a wife in Windsor leads a better life than she does; do what she will, say what she will, take all, pay all, go to bed when she list, rise when she list, all is as she will; and, truly, she deserves it: for if there be a kind woman in Windsor, she is one. You must send her your page; no remedy. Fal. Why, I will. Quick. Nay, but do so then: and, look you, he may come and go between you both; and, in any case, have a nay-word, that you may know one another's mind, and the boy never need to understand any thing; for 'tis not good that children should know any wickedness: old folks, you know, have discretion, as they say, and know the world. Fal. Fare thee well: commend me to them both: there's my purse; I am yet thy debtor.Boy, go along with this woman.-This news distracts me ! [Exeunt QUICKLY and ROBIN. them all! Pist. This punk is one of Cupid's carriers :-Clap on more sails; pursue, up with your fights; Give fire; she is my prize, or ocean whelm [Erit PISTOL. Fal. Say'st thou so, old Jack? go thy ways; I'll make more of thy old body than I have done. Will they yet look after thee? Wilt thou, after the expense of so much money, be now a gainer? Good body, I thank thee: Let them say, 'tis grossly done; so it be fairly done, no matter. Enter BARDOLPH. Bard. Sir John, there's one master Brook below would fain speak with you, and be acquainted with you; and hath sent your worship a morning's draught of sack. Fal. Brook is his name? Bard. Ay, Sir. Fal. Call him in; (Exit BARDOLPH.] Such Brooks are welcome to me, that o'erflow such liquor. Ah! ha! mistress Ford and mistress Page, have I encompassed you? go to; via!\ Re-enter BARDOLPH, with FORD disguised. Ford. Bless you, Sir. Fal. And you, Sir: Would you speak with me? Ford. I make bold, to press with so little preparation upon you. Fal. You're welcome; What's your will? Give us leave, drawer. [Exit BARDOLPH. Ford. Sir, I am a gentleman that have spent much; my name is Brook. Fal. Good master Brook, I desire more ac quaintance of you. Ford. Good Sir John, I sue for yours: not to charge you; for I must let you understand, I think myself in better plight for a lender than you are the which hath something embolden'd me to this unseasoned intrusion; for they say, if money go before, all ways do lie open. Fal. Money is a good soldier, Sir, and will on. Ford. Troth, and I have a bag of money here troubles me: if you will help me to bear it, Sir John, take all, or half, for easing me of the carriage. Fal. Sir, I know not how I may deserve to be your porter. Ford. I will tell you, Sir, if you will give me the hearing. means, as desire, to make myself acquainted with you. I shall discover a thing to you, wherein I must very much lay open mine own imperfection: but, good Sir John, as you have | w one eye upon my follies, as you hear them unfolded, turn another into the register of your yo own, that I may pass with a reproof the easier,| u with you yourself know, how easy it is to be as such an offender. Tw Fal. Very well, Sir; proceed. be Ford. There is a gentlewoman in this town, je her husband's name is Ford. fo bo Fat Weil Sir. Ford. I have long loved her and, I protest to you, bestowed much on ner; followed her yo with a doting observance; engrossed opportunities to meet her; fee'd every slight occasion, kn that could but niggardly give me sight of her; po Bot only bought many presents to give her, but m have given largely to many, to know what she to would have given: briefly, I have pursued her of as love hath pursued me; which hath been, on ba the wing of all occasions. But whatsoever 1 have merited, either in my mind, or in my mi means, meed, I am sure, I have received none; unless experience be a jewel: that 11 have purchased at an infiuite rate; and that wi hath taught me to say this. the Love like a shadow flies, when substance love at Pursuing that that flies, and flying what bis pursues: for Fal. Have you received no promise of satis-ni. faction at her bands ↑ Ford. Never. thi Fal. Have you importuned her to such a tier purpose 1 Jou Ford. Never. fixe Fal. Of what quality was your love then ↑ the Ford. Like a fair house, built upon another wor man's ground; so that I have lost my edinice rau by mistaking the place where 1 erected it. not Fal. To what purpose have you unfolded this und to me? him Ford. When I have told you that, I have told you all. Some say, that, though she ap- base pear hotest to me, yet, in other places, she nan enlargeth her mirth so far, that there is the shrewd construction made of her. Now, Sir is a John, here is the heart of my purpose: You he are a gentleman of excellent breeding, admira- Fle ble discourse, of great admittance, † authentic man in your place and person, generally allowed vita for your many warlike, court-like, and learned geld preparations. plots what they Heat o'clo wife, Pal. O Sir! Ford. Believe it, for you know it :-There is money; spend it, spend it; spend more; spend all I have; only give me so much of your time in exchange of it, as to lay an amiable siege to the honesty of this Ford's wife: use your art of wooing, win her to consent to you; if any man may, you may as soon as any. Fal. Would it apply well to the vehemency of your affection, that I should win what you would enjoy? Methinks, you prescribe to yourself very preposterously. ku the Fal. Master Brook, I will first make bold with your money; next, give me your hand; and last, as I am a gentleman, you shall, if you will, enjoy Ford's wife. • Since. + Reward. Approved. Ford. O, understand my drift! she dwells so securely on the excellency of her honour, that the folly of my soul dares not present itself; she is too bright to be looked against. Now, promi could I come to her with any detection in my Ca hand, my desires had instance and argument to is no commend themselves; I could drive her then is no from the ward of her purity, her reputation, alread her marriage vow, and a thousand other her defences, which now are too strongly embattled against me: What say you to't, Sir John? Ru would Cai vill ki you he Rug In the greatest companies. I wil a mi old ! Ca Ru Ca Ri take her simply; the wealth I have waits on my consent, and my consent goes not that way. Ford. I beseech you, heartily, some of you go home with me to dinner: besides your cheer, you shall have sport; I will show you a monster.Master doctor, you shali go;-so shall you, master Page ;-and you, Sir Hugh. Shal. Well, fare you well :-we shall have the freer wooing at master Page's. [Exeunt SHALLOW and SLENDER. Caius. Go home, John Rugby; I come anon. [Exit RUGBY. Host. Farewell, my bearts: I will to my honest knight Falstaff, and drink canary with him. [Exit HOST. Ford. [Aside.] I think, I shall drink in pipewine first with him; I'll make him dance. Will you go, gentles? All. Have with you, to see this monster. SCENE III-A Room in FORD's House. buck basket Mrs. Ford. I warrant :-What, Robin, I say. Mrs. Page. Come, come, come. Fal. Thou art a traitor to say so thon would'st make an absolute courtier; and the firm fixture of thy foot would give an excellent motion to thy gait, in a semi-circled farthingale. I see what thou wert, if fortune thy foe were not; nature is thy friend: Come, thou canst not [Exeunt.hide it. Mrs. Ford. Believe me, there's no such thing in me. Fal. What made me love thee? let that persuade thee, there's something extraordinary in thee. Come, I cannot cog, and say thou art this and that, like a many of these lisping hawthorn buds, that come like women in men's apparel, and smell like Bucklers-bury in simple. time; I cannot but I love thee; none but thee; and thou deservest it. Mrs. Ford. Do not betray me, Sir; I fear you love mistress Page. Mrs. Ford. Marry, as I told you before, John, and Robert, be ready here bard by in the brewhouse; and when I suddenly call you, come forth, and (without any pause or staggering,) take this basket on your shoulders that done, trudge with it in all haste, and carry it among the whitsters in Datchet mead, and there empty it in the muddy ditch, close by the Thaines' side. Mrs. Page. You will do it? Mrs. Ford. I have told them over and over; they lack no direction: Be gone, and come when you are called. [Exeunt SERVANTS. Mrs. Page. Here comes little Robin. Enter ROBIN. Mrs. Ford. How now, my eyas-musket? what news with you? Rob. My master Sir John is come in at your back-door, mistress Ford; and requests your company. Mrs. Page. You little Jack-a-lent, ‡ have you been true to us? Rob. Ay, I'll be sworn: My master knows not of your being here and bath threatened to put me into everlasting liberty, if I tell you of it; for, he swears, he'll turn me away. Mrs. Page. Thou'rt a good boy; this secrecy of thine shall be a tailor to thee, and shall make thee a new doublet and hose.-I'll go hide ine. Mrs. Ford. Do so:-Go tell thy master, I am alone. Mistress Page, remember you your ene. [Exit ROBIN. Mrs. Page. I warrant thee; if I do not act it, [Exit Mrs. PAGE. Mrs. Ford. Go to then; we'll use this unwholesome humidity, this gross wat'ry pum pion-we'll teach him to know turtles from jays. hiss me. wish I would thy husband were dead: I'll speak it before the best lord, I would make thee my lady. • Bleachers of linen. Mrs. Ford. I your lady, Sir John! alas, I should be a pitiful lady. Fal. Let the court of France show me such another; I see how thine eye would emulate the diamond: Thou hast the right arched bent of the brow, that becomes the ship-tire, the tirevaliant, or any tire of Venetian admittance. Mrs. Ford. A plain kerchief, Sir John: my brows become nothing else; nor that well neither. Fal. Thou might'st as well say, I love to walk by the Counter +-gate; which is as hateful to ine as the reek of a lime-kiln. Mrs. Ford. Well, heaven knows how I love you; and you shall one day find it. Fal. Keep in that mind; I'll deserve it. Mrs. Ford. Nay, I must tell you, so you do; or else I could not be in that mind. Rob. [Within.] Mistress Ford, mistress Ford! here's mistress Page at the door, sweating, aud blowing, and looking wildly, and would needs speak with you presently. Fal. She shall not see me; I will ensconce me behind the arras. § Mrs. Ford. Pray you, do so; she's a very tattling woman.— [FALSTAFF hides himself. Enter Mistress PAGE and ROBIN. Mrs. Page. O mistress Ford, what have you done? You're shamed, you are overthrown, you are undone for ever. Mrs. Ford. What's the matter, good mistress Page? Mrs. Page. O well-a-day, mistress Ford ! having an honest man to your husband, to give him such cause of suspicion ! Mrs. Ford. What cause of suspicion ? Mrs. Page. What cause of suspicion ?-Ont upon you! how am I mistook in you? Mrs. Ford. Why, alas! what's the matter? Mrs. Page. Your husband's coming hither, woman, with all the officers in Windsor to search for a gentleman, that, he says, is here now in the house, by your consent, to take an ill advantage of his absence: You are undone. Mrs. Ford. Speak louder.—[Aside.]—'Tis not so, I hope. Mrs. Page. Pray heaven it be not so, that you have such a man here; but 'tis most certain your husband's coming with balf Windsor at his heels, to search for such a one. I come before to tell you: If you know yourself clear, why I am glad of it but if you have a friend here, convey, convey him out. Be not amazed; call all your senses to you; defend your reputation, or bid farewell to your good life for ever. Mrs. Ford. What shall I do ?—There is a gen ⚫ Venetian fashions. Formerly chiefly inhabited by druggists. ¡ Prison. means, as desire, to make myself acquainted with you. I shall discover a thing to you, wherein I must very much lay open mine own imperfection: but, good Sir John, as you have one eye upon my follies, as you hear them unfolded, turn another into the register of your own; that I may pass with a reproof the easier, sith you yourself know, how easy it is to be such an offender. Fat. Well Sir. Ford. I have long loved her and, I protest to you, bestowed much on ner; followed her with a doting observance; engrossed opportu nities to meet her; fee'd every slight occasion, that could but niggardly give me sight of her; not only bought many presents to give her, but have given largely to many, to know what she would have given: briefly, I have pursued her as love hath pursued me; which hath been, on the wing of all occasions. But whatsoever 1 have merited, either in my mind, or in my means, meed, I am sure, I have received none; unless experience be a jewel that I have purchased at an infinite rate; and that hath taught me to say this. : Love like a shadow flies, when substance love Fal. Want no mistress Ford, master Brook, you shall want none. I shall be with beri inay tell you,) by her own appointment; even as you came in to ine, her assistant, or gehe tween, parted from me: I say, I shall be with her between ten and eleven; for at that time the Ford. There is a gentlewoman in this town, jealous rascally knave her husband will be her husband's name is Ford. forth. Come you to me at night: you shail Louw how I speed. Fal. Very well, Sir; proceed. Ford. I am blest in your acquaintance. Do you know Ford, Sir? pursues; Pursuing that that flies, and flying what pursues: Ford. O good Sir! Fal. Master Brook, I say you shall. Ford. Want no money, Sir John, you staï want none. Fal. O Sir ! Ford. Believe it, for you know it :-There is money; spend it, spend it; spend more; spend all I have; only give me so much of your time in exchange of it, as to lay an amiable siege to the honesty of this Ford's wife: use your art of wooing, win her to consent to you; if any man may, you may as soon as any. Fal. Would it apply well to the vehemency of your affection, that I should win what you would enjoy? Methinks, you prescribe to yourself very preposterously. Fal. Have you received no promise of satis- night. faction at her hands? Ford. O, understand my drift! she dwells so securely on the excellency of her honour, that the folly of my soul dares not present itself; she is too bright to be looked against. Now, could I come to her with any detection in my hand, my desires had instance and argument to commend themselves; I could drive her then from the ward of her purity, her reputation, her marriage-vow, and a thousand other her defences, which now are too strongly embattled against e: What say you to't, Sir John? Fal. Master Brook, I will first make bold with your money; next, give me your hand; and last, as I am a gentleman, you shall, if you will, enjoy Ford's wife. • Since. Fal. Hang bim, poor cuckoldly knave! I know him not :-yet I wrong him, to call him poor; they say, the jealous wittolly knave bab masses of money; for the which his wife seems to me well-favoured. I will use her as the ber of the cuckoldly rogue's coffer; and there's my harvest-home. + Reward. 1 In the greatest companies." Ford. I would you knew Ford, Sir; that you might avoid him, if you saw him. Ford. Never. Ford. What a damn'd Epicurean rascal is this! My heart is ready to crack with impoFal. Have you importuned her to such a tience.-Who says, this is improvident jea purpose? Ford. Never. Fal. Hang him, mechanical salt-butter reque! will stare him out of his wits; 1 will awe amp with my cudgel; it shall hang like a meteur s'er the cuckold's horns: master Brook, then shat thou shalt lie with his wife.-Come to the sax know I will predominate o'er the peasant, and at night:-Ford's a knave, and I will aggravate his stile; thou, master Brook, shalt know him for a kuave and cuckold :-come to me soon at Erit. Fal. Of what quality was your love then? Ford. Like a fair house, built upon another man's ground; so that I have lost my edifice by mistaking the place where I erected it. Fal. To what purpose have you unfolded this to me? lousy? My wife hath sent to him, the bear is fixed, the match is made. Would any man have thought this ?-See the hell of having a fist woman! my bed shall be abused, my coffers ransacked, my reputation gnawn at; and I stall not only receive this villanous wrong, bet stand under the adoption of abominable terms, and by him that does me this wrong. Terms! names! Ford. When I have told you that, I have --Amaimon sounds well; Lucifer, well; Bartold you all. Some say, that, though she ap-bason, well; yet they are devils' additions, the pear honest to me, yet, in other places, she names of fiends: but cuckold! wittol +-cuckold! enlargeth her mirth so far, that there is the devil himself bath not such a name. Page shrewd construction made of her. Now, Sir is an ass, a secure ass; he will trust his wife, Jahn, here is the heart of my purpose: You he will not be jealous: I will rather trust a are a gentleman of excellent breeding, admira- Fleming with my butter, parson Hugh the Weishble discourse, of great admittance, † authentic man with my cheese, an Irishman with my aquain your place and person, generally allowed vitæ ‡ bottle, or a thief to walk my ambing for your many warlike, court-like, and learned gelding, than my wife with herself: then she preparations. plots, then she ruminates, then she devises; and what they think in their hearts they may effect, they will break their hearts but they will effect. Heaven be praised for my jealousy!-Eleven o'clock the hour will prevent this, detecí my wife, be revenged on Falstaff, and laugh at Page. will about it; better three hours too soon, than a minute too late. Fie, fie, fie! cuckold! cnck[Exit. old! cuckold ! SCENE III.-Windsor Park. Rug. Sir. Caius. Vat is de clock, Jack ? Rug. 'Tis past the hour, Sir, that Sir Hugh promised to meet. Caius. By gar, he has saved his soul, eat be is no come; he has pray his Pible vell, dat be is no come: by gar, Jack Rugby, he is dead already, if he be come. Rug. He is wise, Sir; he knew your worship would kill him if he came. Cains. By gar, de herring is no dead, so 21 vill kill him. Take your rapier, Jack; I will tell you how I vill kill him. Rug. Alas, Sir, I cannot fence. Caius. By gar, he is de coward Jack priest of the vorld; he is not show his face. Host. Thou art a Castilian Hector of Greece, my boy! king, Urinal! Caius. I pray you, bear vitness that me have stay six or seven, two, tree hours for him, and he is no come. Shal. He is the wiser man, master doctor: he is a curer of souls, and you a curer of bodies; if you should fight, you go against the hair of your professions: is it not true, master Page ? Page. Master Shallow, you have yourself been a great fighter, though now a man of peace. Shal. Bodykius, master Page, though I now be old, and of the peace, if I see a sword out, my finger itches to make one: though we are justices, and doctors, and churchmen, master Page, we have some salt of our youth in us; we are the sons of women, master Page. Page. 'Tis true, master Shallow. Shal. It will be found so, master Page. Master doctor Caius, I am come to fetch you home. I am sworn of the peace; you have showed yourself a wise physician, and Sir Hugh hath shown himself a wise and patient churchman you must go with me, master doctor. Host. Pardon, guest justice :-A word, mon. sieur Muck-water. § Caius. Muck-vater! vat is dat ? Host. Muck-water, in our English tongue is valour, bully. Caius. By gar, then I have as much muckvater as de Englishman :-Scurvy jack-dog-priest! by gar, me vill cut his ears. Host. He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully. Caius. Clapper-de-claw! vat is dat ? Host. That is, he will make thee amends. Cains. By gar, me do look, he shall clapperde-claw me; for, by gar, me vill have it. Host. And I will provoke him to't, or let him wag. Caius. Me tank you for dat. Host. And moreover, bully,-But first, ter guest, and master Page, and eke cavalero Slender, go you through the town to Frogmore. [Aside to them. Page. Sir Hugh is there, is he? Host. He is there: see what humour he is in; and I will bring the doctor about by the fields; will it do well? Shal. We will do it. Page. Shal. and Slen. Adien, good master doctor. [Exeunt PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER. Caius. By gar, me vill kill de priest; for he speak for a jack-an-ape to Anne Page. Host. Let him die: but, first, sheath thy impatience; throw cold water on thy choler: go about the fields with me through Frogmore; I will bring thee where Mrs. Anne Page is at a farm-bouse a feasting; and thou shalt woo her; Cry'd game, said I well? guest, de carl, de knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my patients. Caius. By gar, me tank you for dat: by gar, I love you; and I shall procure-a you de good • Fence. • Cans word for Spaniard. Host. For the which, I will be thy adversary towards Anne Page; said I well ? Caius. By gar, 'tis good; vell said. Host. Let us wag then. Caius. Come at my heels, Jack Rugby. [Exeunt. ACT III. SCENE I-A Field near Frogmore. Enter Sir HUGH EVANS, and SIMPLE Eva. I pray you now, good master Slander's serving-man, and friend Simple by your name which way have you looked for master Caius, that calls himself Doctor of Physic? Sim. Marry, Sir, the city-ward, the park-ward, every way; old Windsor way, and every way. but the town way. Eva. I most fehemently desire you, you wil also look that way. Sim. I will, Sir. Eva. 'Pless my soul! how full of cholers 1 am, and trempling of mind!-I shall be glad, if he have deceived me :-how melancholies I am! I will knog bis urinals about his knave's costard, when I have good opportunities for the 'ork :-'bless my soul! [Sings. • To shallow rivers, to whose falls Mercy on me! I have a great dispositions to cry. Melodious birds sing madrigals;When as I sat in Pabylon, †— And a thousand fragrant posies. To shallow Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER. Shal. How now, master parson? Good morKeep a gamester from the mas-row, good Sir Hugh. dice, and a good student from his book, and it is wonderful. Slend. Ab! sweet Anne Page! Page. Save you, good Sir Hugh! Eva. 'Pless you from his mercy sake, all of you! Shal. What the sword and the word! do you study them both, master parson ? Page. And youthful still, in your doublet and hose, this raw rheumatick day? Eva. There is reasons and causes for it. Page. We are come to you, to do a good office, master parson. Eva. Fery well: What is it? Page. Yonder is a most reverend gentleman, who belike, having received wrong by some person, is at most odds with his own gravity and patience, that ever you saw. Shal. I have lived fourscore years and upward; I never beard a man of his place, gravity, and learning, so wide of his own respect. Eva. What is he? ↑ Babylon, the first line of the 130th Palm. + Terms in fencing. |