How now, Simple! where have you been? I must wait on myself, must 1? You have not The Book of Riddles about you, bave you? Sim. Book of Riddles! why, did you uct lend it to Alice Shortcake upon Allhallowmas last, a fortnight afore Michaelmas ? • Slen. Ay, or else I would I might be hanged, la Shal. Here comes fair mistress Shat. I will wait on him, fair mistress Anne. Eva. Od's plessed will; I will not be alsence at the grace. Shal. Come, coz; come, coz; we stay for you. A word with you, coz: marry, this, coz ; There is, as 'twere, a tender, a kind of tender, made afar off by Sir Hugh here;-Do you understand me? Slen. No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; I am very well. Anne. The dinner attends you, Sir, Slen. Ay, Sir, you shall find me reasonable; if it be so, I shall do that that is reason. Shal. Nay, but understand me. Era. Give ear to his motious, master Slender : I will description the matter to you, if you be capacity of it. Sten. Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow says I pray you, pardon me; he's a justice of peace in his country, simple though I stand here. Era. But that is not the question; the question is concerning your marriage. [Exeunt SHALLOW and Sir H. EVANS. Anne. Will' please your worship to come Sten, I am not a-hungry, I thank you, farsooth: Go, sirrah, for all you are my man, se, wait upon my cousin Shallow: [Exit SIMPLE A justice of peace sometime may be bebutera. to his friend for a man:-1 keep bat three ara and a boy yet, till my mother be dead: Bet what though; yet I live like a poor gestionan born. Anne. I pray you, Sir, walk in. I Sten. I had rather walk bere, I thank you; bruised my shin the other day with playing at sword and dagger with a master of fesce, three veneys for a dish of stewed prunci; and by my troth, I cannot abide the smell of bot meat since. Why do your dogs back sol be there bears i' the town? Anne. I think there are, Sir; I heard them talked of. Sten. I love the sport well; but I shall a soon quarrel at it, as any man in Enched.— You are afraid, if you see the bear lover, are you not ? Anne, Aye indeed, Sir. Shal. there's the point, Sir. Eva. Marry, is it; the very point of it; mistress Anne Page. to Sten. That's meat aud drink to me now: { have seen Sackerson loose twenty times; and have taken him by the chain: but, I warrant you, the women have so cried and shries' at it, that it pass'd: -but women, indeed, ca abide 'em; they are very ill favoured not rough things. Sten. Why, if it be so, I will marry her, upon any reasonable demands. Anne. I may not go in without your worship: they will not sit till you come. Slen. 'faith, I'll eat nothing; I thank you as much as though I did. Era. But can you affection the man? Let us command to know that of your mouth, or of your lips; for divers philosophers hold, that the lips is parcel of the mouth;-Therefore, precisely, can you carry your good will to the maid ? Shal. Cousin Abraham Sleuder, can you love her? Slen. I hope, Sir,-I will do as it shall become one that would do reason. Era. Nay, Got's lords and his ladies, you must speak possitable, if you can carry her your desires towards her. Shal. That you must: Will you, upon good dowry, marry her? Slen. I will do a greater thing than that, upon your request, cousin, in any reason. Shal. Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz; what I do, is to pleasure you, coz: Can you love the maid ? Sten. I will marry her, Sir, at your request; but if there be no great love in the beginning, yet heaven may decrease it upon better acwe are married, and have quaintance, when Inore occasion to know one another: I hope, upon familiarity will grow more contempt: but if you say, marry her, I will marry her, that I an freely dissolv'd, and dissolutely." Era. It is a ferry discretion answer; save, the faul' is in the 'ort dissolutely: the fort according to our meaning, resolutely ;-his mea ing is good. Shal. Ay, think my cousin meant well. • An intended blunder. Re-enter PAGE. Rage. Come, gentle master Slender, come; we stay for you. Slen. I'll eat nothing; I thank yon, Sir. Sten. Nay, pray you, lead the way. Sten. Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first. Sten. Truly, I will not go first; truly, la: 1 will not do you that wrong. Anne. I pray, you, Sir. Sten. I'll rather be unmannerly than treate some you do yourself wrong, indeed, ta. Excunt. SCENE II.-The same. Enter Sir HUGH EVANS and SIMPLE. Era. Go your ways, and ask of Doctor Cajus's house, which is the way and there dwells cre mistress Quickly, which is in the manner of his dry nurse, or his cook, or bis laundry, his washer, and his wringer. Simp. Well, Sir. Era. Nay, it is petter yet:--give her this letter; for it is a 'oman that altogether's ac is,quaintance with mistress Anne Page; and the • Three set-to's, bouts, or hits. The name of a bear exhibited at Paris-Garden in Southwark. 1 Surpassed all expresses. A common adjuration and a corrupties of the sa ered Naine in the old Moralities. Hector? Fat. Do so, good mine host. Host. I have spoke; let him follow: Let me see thee froth, and lime: I am at a word; fol[Exit HOST. low. Fal. Bardolph, follow him; a tapster is a good trade: An old cloak makes a new jerkin; a withered servingman, a fresh tapster; Go; adieu. Bard. is a life that I have desired; I will thrive. [Exit BARD. Pist. O base Gongarian wight! wilt thou the spigot wield ? Nym. He was gotten in drink: Is not the humour conceited? His mind is not heroic, and there's the humour of it. Fal. I am glad I am so acquit of this tinderbox; his thefts were too open: his filching was like an uuskilful singer, be kept not time. Nym. The good humour is, to steal at a minute's rest. Pist. Convey, the wise it call: Steal! foh; a fco for the phrase I Fal. Well, Sirs, I am almost out at heels. Fal. There is no remedy; I must coney-catch; I must shift. Pist. Young ravens must have food. Fal. Which of you know Ford of this town? Pist. 1 ken the wight; he is of substance good. Fal. My honest lads, I will tell you what I am about. Pist. Two yards, and more. Fal. No quips now, Pistol; indeed I am in the waist two yards about: but I am now about no waste; I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make love to Ford's wife; I spy entertaininent in her; she discourses, she carves, she gives the leer of invitation: I can construe the action of her familiar style; and the hardest voice of her behaviour, to be English'd rightly, is, I am Sir John Falstaff's. Pist. He hath studied her well, and translated her well; out of honesty into English. Nym. The anchor is deep: will that humour pass? Fal. Now, the report goes, she has all the rale of her husband's purse; she hath legions of angels. I Pist. As many devils entertain; and, To her, boy, say 1. Nym. The humour rises; it is good humour me the angels. Fal. I have writ me here a letter to her : and here another to Page's wife; who even now gave me good eyes too, examin'd my parts with most judicions eyliads: sometimes the beam of her view gilded my foot, sometimes my portly belly. Pist. Then did the sun on dung-bill shine. • For llunarian. with such a greedy intention, that the appetite of her eye did seem to scorch me up like a buruing glass! Here's another letter to ber: slie bears the purse too; she is a region in Guiana, all gold and bounty. I will be cheater to them both, and they shall be exchequers to me; they shall be my East and West Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go, bear thon this letter to mistress Page; and thou this to mistress Ford: we will thrive, lads, we will thrive. Pist. Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become, And by my side wear steel? then, Lucifer take all! Nym. I will run no base humour; here, take the humour letter; I will keep the 'haviour of reputation. go; Fal. Hold, sirrah, [To ROB.] bear you these letters tightly; Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores.Rogues, hence avaunt! vanish like bail-stones, [pack ! Falstaff will learn the bumour of this age, Trudge, plod, away, o' the hoof; seek shelter French thrift, you rogues; myself, and skirted page. [Exeunt FALSTAFY and ROBIN. Pist. Let vultures gripe thy guts for gourd and fullam holds, And high and low beguile the rich and poor: he humours of revenge. Pist. Wilt thou revenge? Nym. By welkin, and her star! Pist. With wit, or steel? Nym. With both the humours, 1: I will discuss the humour of this love to Page, Pist. And I to Ford shall eke unfold, How Falstaff, varlet vile, His dove will prove, his gold will hold, Nym. My humour shall not cool: I will incense Page to deal with poison; I will possess him with yellowness, for the revolt of mien is dangerous: that is my true humour. Pist. Thou art the Mars of malcontents: I second thee; troop on. [Breunt. SCENE IV.-A Room in Dr. CAIUS's House. Enter Mrs. QUICKLY, SIMPLE, and RuosY. Quick. What; John Rugby -1 pray thee go to the casement, and see if you can see my master, master Doctor Caius, coming: if he do 'faith, and find any body in the house, here will be an old abusing of God's patience and the king's English. Rug. I'll go watch. [Exit RUGBY. Quick. Go; and we'll have a posset for't soon at night, in faith, at the latter end of a sea-coal fire. An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servants shall come in house withal; and I his worst fault is, that he is given to prayer; he warrant you, no tell-tale, nor no breed-bate :** has his fault;-but let that pass. Peter Simple, is something peevish ++ that way: but nobody but you say your name is ? Sim. Ay, for fault of a better. Quick. And master Slender's your master t Quick. Does he not wear a great round beard, like a glover's paring knife ? Sim. No, forsooth; he hath but a little wee face, with a little yellow beard; a Cain coloured beard. 1: Quick. A softly-sprighted man, is be not? 1: In the old tapestries, Caip and Judas were repre sented with yellow beards. $1 Brave. of his hands, as any is between this and his head; he hath fought with a warrener.⚫ Quick. How say yon ?-Oh! I should remem ber him? Does he not hold up his head, as it were? and strut in his gait ? Sim. Yes, indeed, does he. Quick. Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse fortune! Tell master parson Evans, I will do what I can for your master: Anue is a good girl, and I wish Re-enter RUGBY. Rug. Out, alas! here comes my master. Quick. We shall all be shent : Run in here, good young man; go into this closet. [Shuts SIMPLE in the closet.] He will not stay long.What, John Rugby! John, what, John, I say! -Go, John, go inquire for my master; I doubt he be not well, that he comes not home :-and down, down, adown-a, &c. [Sings. Enter Doctor CAIUS. Caius. Vat is you sing? I do not like dese toys; Pray you, go and vetch me in my closet un boitier verd: a box, a green-a box; Do in tend vat I speak ? a green-a box. Quick. Ay, forsooth, I'll fetch it you. I am glad he went not in himself; if he had found the young man, he would have been horn-mad. [Aside. Caius. Fe, fe, fe, fe 1 ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Je m'en vais a la Cour,-la grand affaire. Quick. Is it this, Sir? Cains. Ouy; mette le au mon pocket; Depeche, quickly :-Vere is dat knave, Rugby? Quick. What, John Rugby John ? Rug. Here, Sir. Caius. You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby: Come, take-a your rapier, and come after my heel to de court. Rug. 'Tis ready, Sir, here in the porch. (aius. By my trot, I tarry too long:-Od's me! Qu'a y j'oublie ? dere is some simples in my closet, dat I vill not for the varid I shall leave behind. brew, bake, scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds, and do all myself;— Sim. 'Tis a great charge, to come under one body's hand. Quick. Are you advis'd o' that? you shall find it a great charge and to be up early, and down late ;-but notwithstanding, (to tell you in your ear; I would have no words of it;) my master himself is in love with mistress Anne Page : but notwithstanding that, I know Anne's mind,— that's neither here nor there. Caius. You jack'nape; give-a dis letter to Sir Hugh; by gar, it is a sballenge : 1 vit cut bis throat in de park; and I vill teach a scurry jack-a-nape priest to meddle or make:-308 may be gone; it is not good you tarry here — by gar, I will cut all his two stones; by gar, be shall not have a stone to trow at his dog. [Erit SIMPLE. Quick. Alas, he speaks but for his friend. Caius. It is no matter-a for dat :-do not yan tell-a me dat I shall have Anne Page for my self-by gar, I vill kill de Jack priest, and I have appointed mine host of de Jarterre to measure out weapon:-by gar, I vill myself have Anne Page. Quick. Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well: we must give folks leave to prate: What the gonjere !• Caius. Rugby, come to the court vit me ;By gar, if I have not Aune Page, I shall turs your bead out of my door :-Follow my beais, Rugby. [Exeunt CAIUS and REGIT. Quick. You shall have An fools-head of your own. No, I know Anne's mind for that: sever a woman in Windsor knows more of Anre's mind than I do; nor can do more than i də with her, I thank heaven. Fent. [Within.] Who's within there, bo! Quick. Who's there, I trow? Come near the house, I pray you. Enter FENTON. Fent. How now, good woman; how des thou? Quick. The better, that it pleases your good worship to ask. Fent. What news? how does pretty mistress Anne? Quick. In truth, Sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and gentle; and one that is your friend, I can tell you that by the way; I praise heaven for it. Fent. Shall I do any good, thinkest thou! Shall I not lose my suit ? Quick. Troth, Sir, all is in his hands above: but notwithstanding, master Fenton, I'll be sworn on a book she loves you:-Have not your worship a wart about your eye f Fent. Yes, marry, have 1; what of that? Quick. Well, thereby hangs a tail-gand faith, it is such another Nan:-bat, I detest, an honest maid as ever broke bread :-We had an hour's talk of that wart-I shall never laugh but in that maid's company?-But, indeed she is given too much to allicholly; and musing: But for you-Well, go to. Fent. Well, I shall see her to-day: Hold, there's money for thee; let me have thy voire in my behalf: if thou seest her before me, commend me Quick. Will 11 'faith, that we will: and will tell your worship more of the wart, the next time we have confidence; and of other wooers. Fent. Well, farewell; I am in great baste now. Erit. Quick. Farewell to your worship.-Truly, an honest gentleman; but Anne loves him not; fer I know Anne's mind as well as another does :— Out upon't! what have I forgot! (Ez it. comfort in this mystery of ill opinions, here's the twin-brother of thy letter: but let thine inberit first; for, I protest, mine never shall. I warrant, he bath a thousand of these letters, writ with blank space for different names, (sure more,) and these are of the second edition: He will print them out of doubt: for he cares not what he puts into the press, when he would put us two. I had rather be a giantess, and lie under mount Pelion. Well, I will find you twenty lascivious turtles, ere one chaste man. • Mrs. Ford. Why, this is the very same; the of us? Ask me no reason why I love you; for though love use reason for his precisian, he admits him not for his counsellor: You are not young, no more am I; go to then, there's sympathy: you are merry, so am I; Ha! ha!very hand, the very words: What doth be think then there's more sympathy: you love sack, and so do I; Would you desire better sympa thy? Let it suffice thee, mistress Page, (at the least if the love of a soldier can suffice,) that I love thee. I will not say, pity me, 'tis not a soldier-like phrase; but I say, love me. By Mrs. Page. Nay, I know not: It makes me almost ready to wrangle with mine own honesty. I'll entertain myself like one that I am not acquainted withal; for, sure, unless be know some strain in me that I know not myself, he would never have boarded me in this fury. me, Mrs. Ford. Boarding, call you it? I'll be sure to keep him above deck. Mrs. Page. So will I; if he come under my hatches, I'll never to sea again. Let's be revenged on bim: let's appoint him a meeting; give him a show of comfort in his suit; and lead him on with a fine baited delay, till he hath pawn'd his horses to mine Host of the Garter. ACT II. SCENE 1.-Before PAGE's House. Enter Mistress PAGE, with a letter. Mrs. Page. What! have I'scaped love-letters in the holy-day time of my beauty, and am I now a subject for them? Let me see: [Reads. Thine own true knight, John Falstaff. What a Herod of Jewry is this? O wicked, wicked, world!-one that is well nigh worn to pieces with age, to show himself a young gallant! What an unweighed behaviour bath this Flemish drunkard picked (with the devil's name) out of my conversation, that he dares in this manner assay me? Why, be hath not been thrice in my company !-What should I say to him?I was then frugal of my mirth :-heaven forgive me! Why, I'll exhibit a bill in the parliament for the putting down of men. How shall I be revenged on him? for revenged I will be, as sure as his guts are made of puddings. Enter Mistress FORD. Mrs. Ford. Mistress Page! trust me, I was going to your house. Mrs. Page. And, trust me, was coming to you. You look very ill. Mrs. Ford. Nay, I'll ne'er believe that; I have to show to the contrary. Mrs. Page. 'Faith, but you do, in my mind. Mrs. Ford. Well, I do then; yet, I say, I could show you to the contrary: O mistress Page, give me some counsel ! Mrs. Page. What's the matter, woman? Mrs. Ford. O woman, if it were not for one trifling respect, I could come to such honour! Mrs. Page. Hang the trifle, woman; take the honour: What is it?--dispense with trifleɛ ;— what is it? Mrs. Ford. If I would but go to hell for an eternal moment, or so, I could be knighted. Mrs. Page. What?-thou liest!-Sir Alice Ford These knights will back; and thou shouldst not alter the article of thy gentry. Mrs. Ford. Nay, I will consent to act any villay against him, that may not sully the chariness of our honesty. Oh! that my husband saw this letter! it would give eternal food to his jealousy. Mrs. Page. Why, look, where he comes; and my good man too: he's as far from jealousy, as am from giving him cause; and that, I hope, is an unmeasurable distance. Mrs. Ford. We burn day-light-here, read, read-perceive how I might be knighted.-1 shall think the worse of fat men, as long as bave an eye to make difference of men's liking: And yet he would not swear; praised women's modesty and gave such orderly and well-be haved reproof to all uncomeliness, that I would have sworn his disposition would have gone to the truth of bis words: but they do no more adbere and keep place together, than the hun dredth Psalm to the tune of Green sleeves. What tempest, I trow, threw this whale, with so many tons of oil in his belly, ashore at Windsor ? How shall I be revenged on him? I think the best way were to entertain him with hope, till the wicked fire of lust have melted him in his own grease. Did you ever hear the like? Mrs. Page. Letter for letter; but that the name of Page and Ford differs!-To thy great • Most probably Shakspeare wrote physician. Mrs. Ford. You are the happier woman. Mrs. Page. Let's consult together against this greasy knight: Come bither. [They retire. Away, Sir corporal Nym.—— Believe it, Page; he speaks sense. 80 [Erit PISTOL. Ford. I will be patient; I will find out this. Nym. And this is true. [To PAGE.) I like not the humour of lying. He hath wronged me in some humours; I should have borne the humonred letter to her but I have a sword, and it shall bite upon my necessity. He loves your My name wife; there's the short and the long. is corporal Nym; I speak, and I avonch. 'Tis true-my name is Nym, and Falstaff loves your wife.--Adieu! I love not the humour of bregd and cheese; and there's the humour of it. Adien. [Fall NYM. Page. The humour of it, quoth 'a! bere's a fellow frights humour out of its wits. Ford. I will seek out Falstaff. Page. I never heard such a drawling affecting rogue. Ford. If I do find it, weil. [Ereunt HOST, SHALLOW, and Pice. Ford. Though Page be a secure fool, and stands so firmly on his wife's frailty, yet I casnot put off my opinion so easily: She was in his company at Page's house; and what they made there I know not. Well, I will look further into't: and I have a disguise to sound Falstaff: If I find her honest, I lose not my Mrs.labour; if she be otherwise, 'tis labour well bestowed. (Erit. Page. Look, where my ranting host of the Garter comes: there is either liquor in his pate, or money in his purse, when he looks so merrily. How now, mine host ? Enter HOST and SHALLOW. Host. How now, bully-rook ? thou'rt a gentlemen; cavalero-justice, I say. and tell him, my name is Brook; only for a jest. Shal. I follow, mine host, I follow.-Good even, and twenty, good master Page! Master Page, will you go with us? we have sport in band. Host. Tell him, cavalero-justice; tell him bully-rook. Shal. Sir, there is a fray to be fought between Sir Hugh the Welsh priest, and Caius the French doctor. Ford. Good mine host o' the Garter, a word with you. Host. What say'st thou, bully-rook? (They go aside. Shal. Will you [to PAGE] go with us to behold it my merry host hath had the measuring of their weapons; and, I think, he hath appointed them contrary places: for, believe me, I hear the parson is no jester. Hark, I will tell you what our sport shall be. Host. Hast thou no suit against my knight, my guest-cavalier? Ford. None, I protest: but I'll give you a pottle of burnt sack to give me recourse to him, • The Chinese, or sharpers, were call, stains. Host. My hand, bully: thou shalt have egress and regress; said I well? and thy name shall be Brook: It is a merry knight.-Will you go on, hearts ? Shal. Have with you, mine host. Page. I have heard, the Frenchman hath good skill in his rapier. Shal. Tut, Sir, I could have told you more: In these times you stand on distance, your passess, stoccadoes, and I know not what: tis the heart, master Page; 'tis here, 'tis here. I have seen the time, with my long sword. I would have made you four tall fellows skip ine rats. Host. Here, boys, here, here! shall we wig? Page. Have with you:-1 had rather hear them scold than fight. Pist. Didst thou not share? hadst thou not fifteen pence: Fal. Reason, you rogne, reason: Think'st thou I'll endanger my soul gratis? At 2 word, hang no more about me, I am no gibbet for you-go.-A short knife and a throng: 1-to your manor of Pick't-hatch, go.-You'll ant bear a letter for me, you rogue !-you stand upon your honour -Wby, thon unconfiable baseness, it is as much as I can do, to keep the terms of mine, honour precise. 1, 1, I myself sometimes, leaving the fear of beaven on the left band, and hiding mine bonour in my se cessity, am fain to shuffle, to hedge, and to lurch; and yet you, rogue, will ensconce ** your rags, your cat-a-mountain looks, your redlattice phrases, and your bold-beating oaths, under the shelter of your honour! You wili net do it, you? Pist. I do relent; What would'st thou more of man? |
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