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ing for?" He replied that he was "thinking of his father, who was killed in battle." Soon after the questioner himself, prompted by curiosity, made the same experiment with the same result, and in turn was asked by the young sachem "what he was crying for?" "Because you were not killed when your father was," was the very prompt reply.
XXIX. THE WAY TO GET A SEAT NEAR THE FIRE.
A YANKEE traveller arriving at a country inn, quite drenched with rain, found the fire so closely surrounded by guests, that he could not get near it, until he thought of an expedient to disperse them. Having called the stable boy, he ordered him, in a loud voice, to give his horse immediately six dozen of oysters. "But a horse never eats oysters," answered the boy, "Do as I tell you," said the traveller, "and you will see. Such a feed for a horse excited much surprise, and as soon as it was ready, the whole company rose, and proceeded to the stable to see a horse eat oysters. The traveller then quietly took the best seat by the fire. As might be expected the boy came back immediately to tell him that the horse would not eat the oysters. "Never mind!" said the traveller, "bring them here, I will eat them."
XXX.-A GENTLE HINT.
A CLERGYMAN who was in the habit of preaching in different parts of the country, was one day at an inn, where he observed a horse-jockey trying to take in a gentleman, by imposing upon him a broken-winded horse for a sound one. The parson knew the bad character of the jockey, and taking the gentleman aside, told him to be cautious of the person he was dealing with. The gentleman finally declined the purchase, and the jockey, quite nettled, observed, "Parson, I had much rather hear you preach, than see you privately interfere in bargains between man and man, in this way." "Well,” replied the parson, "if you had been where you ought to have been, last Sunday, you might have heard me preach." "Where was that?" inquired the jockey. "In the State Prison," returned the clergyman.
XXXI.-A CANDID CULPRIT.
THE Duke of Ossuna, Viceroy of Naples, travelling once through Barcelona, paid a visit to the galley-slaves. He questioned many of them, and inquired what crimes they severally had committed. All endeavored to appear innocent. One said he was put there by mistake; another that his judge had been bribed to convict him; a third was there by treachery; in short, all were perfectly guiltless, and, according to their own statements, injured men. At last the Duke came to a poor fellow of more humble appearance than the rest, whom he also asked what he was there for. 66 My Lord," replied he, "I cannot deny that I deserve to be here; for, being in great want of money to keep from starvation, I stole a purse from a monk on his way to Tarragona." The Duke, sternly addressing him, said: "Rascal that you are, what business have you here among such honest men? Leave their company instantly, so as not to spoil them all.” He was thus set at liberty, while the others remained in the galleys.
XXXII-AN INTREPID QUAKER.
IN the war of 1812, a New York trader was chased by an English privateer, and having four guns with plenty of small arms, it was agreed to stand the brush with the enemy rather than be taken prisoners. Among the other passengers was an athletic Quaker, who, though he withstood every solicitation to lend a hand, as being contrary to his religious tenets, kept walking backwards and forwards on the deck, without any apparent fear, the enemy all the time pouring in their shot. At length the vessels having approached close to each other, a disposition to board was manifested by the English, which was very soon put in exccution, when the Quaker, being on the look out, unexpectedly sprang towards the first man that jumped on board, and grasping him forcibly by the collar, coolly said, "Friend, thou hast no business here," at the same time hoisting him over the ship's side.
XXXIII.-A GOOD SON.
WHILE the French troops were encamped at Boulogne, public attention was excited by the daring attempt at escape made by an English sailor. This person having escaped from the depot, and having gained the sea shore, where the woods served for concealing him, constructed, with no other instrument than a knife, a boat entirely of the bark of trees. When the weather was fair, he mounted a tree and looked out for the English flag; and having at last observed a British cruiser, he ran to the shore with his boat on his back, and was about to trust himself in his frail vessel to the waves, when he was pursued, arrested, and loaded with chains. Every body in the army was anxious to see the boat, and Napoleon, having at length heard of the affair, sent for the sailor and interrogated him. "You must," said Napoleon, "have had a great desire to see your country again, since you could resolve to trust yourself on the open sea in so frail a bark. I suppose you have left a sweetheart there." "No," said the sailor, "but a poor, and infirm mother, whom I was anxious to see." "And you shall see her," said Napoleon, giving at the same time orders to set him at liberty and to bestow upon him a considerable sum of money for his mother, observing that "she must be a good mother who had so good a son."
XXXIV.-GREAT RESULTS FROM TRIFLING CAUSES.
A VIZIER, having offended his master, was condemned to perpetual captivity in a lofty tower. At night his wife came to weep below his window. "Cease your grief," said the sage; go home for the present, and return hither when you have procured a live beetle, a little honey, three clews-one of the finest silk, another of stout pack-thread, and another of whip-cord; and finally, a stout coil of rope." When she came again to the foot of the tower, provided with these things, he instructed her to touch the head of the insect with a little of the honey, to tie one end of the silk thread around him, and place the insect on the wall of the tower. Seduced by the smell of honey, which he conceived to be in the store somewhere above him, the beetle continued to ascend till he reach. ed the top, and thus put the vizier in possession of the end of
the silk thread; and he drew up the pack-thread by means of the silk; the small cord by means of the pack-thread; and by means of the cord a stout rope, capable of sustaining his own weight; and so, at last, escaped from the place of his imprisonment.
XXXV.-DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ECONOMY AND AVARICE.
ONCE, when a collection was being made to build a hospital for the poor, those who were employed to obtain subscriptions came to a small house, the door of which was half open. From the entry, they heard an old man scolding his servantgirl, who, having opened a parcel, had afterwards thrown the outer wrapping paper in the fire, without reflecting that perhaps it might be of further service. After diverting themselves awhile with listening to the dispute, they knocked and presented themselves before the old gentleman. As soon as they told him the object of their visit, he begged them to be seated while he wrote out a check for five hundred dollars. The collectors being astonished at this generosity, which they little expected, could not help testifying their surprise, and told the old gentleman what they had heard. "Friends," said he, "your surprise is occasioned by a thing of little consequence. I keep house, and save or spend money in my own way; the one furnishes me with the means of doing the other, and both equally gratify my inclinations.-With regard to benefactions and donations, always expect most from prudent people, who keep their own accounts."
A GENTLEMAN who was going for a few months to Europe, was besieged on all sides with requests to buy a number of articles only to be had in Paris. "Just make a little memorandum of what you want," said he, " and I shall be happy to attend to you." Every one accordingly made out his list; one only added the money necessary to pay for the articles required. This the traveller employed according to direction; he bought nothing for the others. On his return, they all came to him to receive their goods, but were much disappointed to hear the accident which had deprived him of the pleasure of fulfilling their commissions. "One fine morning," said he, "that I was on deck, I took out my pocketbook to
look over your notes and to arrange them in order, when suddenly a gust of wind took up all of them, and blew them into the sea. 29 "However," observed one, "I thought you had brought for so and so every thing he asked you to." "That is true," replied the traveller, "but it was by mere chance, and only owing to his having put some money into his note, the weight of which prevented its being blown overboard."
XXXVII.-A CUNNING ASTROLOGER.
An astrologer under the reign of Louis the Eleventh, having foretold some things disagreeable to the King, his majesty, in revenge, resolved to put him to death. The next day he sent for the astrologer, and ordered his servants, at a given signal, to throw him out of the window. As soon as the astrologer entered, the king thus addressed him: "You who pretend to be so wise, and to know so perfectly the fate of others, you can inform me, perhaps, what will be your own, and how long you have to live?" The astrologer, who began to apprehend some danger, answered with great presence of mind, "I know my destiny, and am to die just three days before your majesty." The king, after that, far from having him thrown out of the window, took the greatest care of him, and did every thing in his power to retard the death of one whom he was so soon to follow.
A PROFESSOR of chemistry was once repeating before his class an experiment with some combustible substances, when suddenly the mixture exploded, and the vial which he held. in his hand blew into a hundred pieces. "Gentlemen," said the doctor to his pupils, with the most unaffected gravity, "I have made this experiment often with the very same vial, and never knew it break in my hands before." The simplicity of this rather superfluous remark produced a general laugh, in which the learned professor, instantly discerning the cause of it, joined most heartily.
Something worse happened to Mr. Roelle, an eminent French chemist, but not the most cautious of operators. One day, while performing some experiments, he observed to his auditors, "Gentlemen, you see this cauldron upon this furnace; well, if I were to cease stirring a single moment, an