Noä, but it's them as niver knaws wheer a meäl's to be 'ad.

Taäke my word for it, Sammy, the poor in a loomp is bad.

XIII

Them or thir feythers, tha sees, mun 'a beän a laäzy lot,

Fur work mun 'a gone to the gittin' whiniver munny was got.

Feyther 'ad ammost nowt; leästways 'is munny was 'id.

But 'e tued an' moil'd 'issén deäd, an 'e died a good un, 'e did.

XIV

Loook thou theer wheer Wrigglesby beck cooms out by the 'ill!

Feyther run oop to the farm, an' I runs oop to the

mill;

An' I'll run oop to the brig, an' that thou'll live to

see;

And if thou marries a good un I'll leave the land to thee.

XV

Thim's my noätions, Sammy, wheerby I means to

stick;

But if thou marries a bad un, I'll leave the land to Dick.

Coom oop, proputty, proputty-that's what I 'ears 'im saäy

Proputty, proputty, proputty-canter an' canter awaäy.

XXIV

THE NORTHERN COBBLER

I

WAÄIT till our Sally cooms in, fur thou mun a' sights1 to tell.

Eh, but I be maäin glad to seeä tha sa 'arty an' well. 'Cast awaäy on a disolut land wi' a vartical soon?!' Strange fur to goä fur to think what saäilors a' seëan an' a' doon;

'Summat to drink-sa' 'ot?' I 'a nowt but Adam's wine :

What's the 'eät o' this little 'ill-side to the 'eät o' the line?

II

'What's i' tha bottle a-stanning theer?' I'll tell tha.

Gin.

But if thou wants thy grog, tha mun goä fur it down to the inn.

Naay—fur I be maäin-glad, but thaw tha was iver sa dry,

Thou gits naw gin fro' the bottle theer, an' I'll tell tha why.

III

Meä an' thy sister was married, when wur it? back

end o' June,

Ten year sin', and wa 'greed as well as a fiddle i'

tune :

I could fettle and clump owd booöts and shoes wi' the best on 'em all,

As fer as fro' Thursby thurn hup to Harmsby and Hutterby Hall.

1 The vowels aï, pronounced separately though in the closest conjunction, best render the sound of the long i and y in this dialect. But since such words as craïin', daïin', whaï, aï (I), etc., look awkward except in a page of express phonetics, I have thought it better to leave the simple i and y, and to trust that my readers will give them the broader pronunciation.

2 The oo short, as in 'wood.'

We was busy as beeäs i' the bloom an' as 'appy as 'art

could think,

An' then the babby wur burn, and then I taäkes to the drink.

IV

An' I weänt gaäinsaäy it, my lad, thaw I be hafe shaämed on it now,

We could sing a good song at the Plow, we could sing a good song at the Plow;

Thaw once of a frosty night I slither'd an' hurted my huck,

1

An' I coom'd neck-an-crop soomtimes slaäpe down i' the squad an' the muck:

An' once I fowt wi' the Taäilor-not hafe ov a man, my lad

Fur he scrawm'd an' scratted my faäce like a cat, an' it maäde 'er sa mad

That Sally she turn'd a tongue-banger, 2 an' raäted ma, 'Sottin' thy braäins

Guzzlin' an' soäkin' an' smoäkin' an' hawmin'3 about i' the laänes,

Soä sow-droonk that tha doesn not touch thy 'at to the Squire ;'

An' I loook'd cock-eyed at my noäse an' I seeäd 'im a-gittin' o' fire;

But sin' I wur hallus i' liquor an' hallus as droonk as a king,

Foälks' coostom flitted awaäy like a kite wi' a brokken string.

V

An' Sally she wesh'd foälks' cloäths to keep the wolf

fro' the door,

Eh but the moor she riled me, she druv me to drink

the moor,

Fur I fun', when 'er back wur turn'd, wheer Sally's owd stockin' wur 'id,

An' I grabb'd the munny she maäde, and I weär'd it o' liquor, I did.

1 Hip.

2 Scold.

3 Lounging,

VI

An' one night I cooms 'oäm like a bull gotten loose at a faäir,

An' she wur a-waäitin' fo’mma, an' cryin' and teärin'

'er 'aäir,

An' I tummled athurt the craädle an' sweär'd as I'd breäk ivry stick

O' furnitur 'ere i' the 'ouse, an' I gied our Sally a kick, An' I mash'd the taäbles an' chairs, an' she an' the babby beäl'd,1

Fur I knaw'd naw moor what I did nor a mortal beast o' the feäld.

VII

An' when I waäked i' the murnin' I seead that our Sally went laämed

Cos' o' the kick as I gied 'er, an' I wur dreädful ashaämed;

An' Sally wur sloomy2 an' draggle taäil'd in an owd turn gown,

An' the babby's faäce wurn't wesh'd an' the 'ole 'ouse hupside down.

VIII

An' then I minded our Sally sa pratty an' neät an'

sweeät,

Straät as a pole an' clean as a flower fro' 'eäd to feeät : An' then I minded the fust kiss I gied 'er by Thursby

thurn;

Theer wur a lark a-singin' 'is best of a Sunday at murn, Couldn't see 'im, we 'eärd 'im a-mountin' oop 'igher an' 'igher,

An' then 'e turn'd to the sun, an' 'e shined like a sparkle o' fire.

'Doesn't tha see 'im,' she axes, 'fur I can see 'im?' an' I

Seeäd nobbut the smile o' the sun as danced in 'er pratty blue eye;

1 Bellowed, cried out.

2 Sluggish, out of spirits.

An' I says 'I mun gie tha a kiss,' an' Sally says 'Noä, thou moänt,'

But I gied 'er a kiss, an' then anoother, an' Sally says 'doänt !'

IX

An' when we coom'd into Meeätin', at fust she wur all in a tew,

But, arter, we sing’d the 'ymn togither like birds on a

beugh;

An' Muggins 'e preäch'd o' Hell-fire an' the loov o' God fur men,

An' then upo' coomin' awaäy Sally gied me a kiss ov 'ersen.

X

Heer wur a fall fro' a kiss to a kick like Saätan as fell Down out o' heaven i' Hell-fire-thaw theer's naw drinkin' i' Hell;

Meä fur to kick our Sally as kep the wolf fro' the door, All along o' the drink, fur I loov'd 'er as well as afoor.

XI

Sa like a greät num-cumpus I blubber'd awaäy o' the bed

'Weänt niver do it naw moor;' an' Sally looökt up an' she said,

'I'll upowd it1 tha weänt; thou'rt like the rest o' the

men,

Thou'll goä sniffin' about the tap till tha does it agëan. Theer's thy hennemy, man, an' I knaws, as knaws tha sa well,

That, if tha seeäs 'im an' smells 'im tha'll foller 'im slick into Hell.'

XII

6

'Naäy,' says I, 'fur I weänt goä sniffin' about the tap.' Weant tha?' she says, an' mysen I thowt i' mysen 'mayhap.'

1 I'll uphold it.