O you 've come to me for advice, have you?" said the Old Politician to the Young Politician. "You want to know how to succeed in politics, do you?"

The Young Politician inclined his head.

"I do," he replied. "Will you tell me?"

The Old Politician was silent for a moment.

"Times change," he said at last, "and I dare say there are new issues now in politics that there were n't in the good old days. The technic is somewhat different, too. However, the basic principles remain the same, and, after all, the issues don't really matter; it 's what you say about them that counts, and I can tell you what to say about them. Very well, I'll advise you. First of all, if you 're running for office in these days, you must run as a hundredper-cent. American candidate."

The Young Politician's eye clouded with perplexity.

"What is Americanism," he asked, "and how does one figure it on a percentage basis?"

The Old Politician brought down his fist on the table with a crash.

"You aspire to political office, and ask questions like that!" he exclaimed in a voice of wrath. "Never question what hundred-per-cent. Americanism is even to yourself. If you do, somebody else will question, too. Nothing could be more fatal. Don't try to define it; assert it. Say you 're hundred per cent. and your opponent is n't. Intimate that if George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and Abraham Lincoln went over your opponent with a slide rule and an

adding-machine, they could n't make him add up to more than ninety-nine per cent. If he 's out for a seven-cent fare or a new set of municipal waterworks, tell the people that such things are unAmerican. Say that he 's dodging the issue, and the issue is Americanism." He paused. "If you were my opponent, and asked what Americanism is, I'd double you up. "Think of it, my fellowcitizens! He does n't even know what Americanism is! Is that the kind of man to hold office in the country of Washington and Lincoln?"

The Young Politician looked round uneasily to make sure that they were indeed alone, for the Old Politician was almost shouting.

"Please," said the Young Politician, "not so loud. I won't ask that question again. I see your point. What else do you advise?"

"You must learn," continued the Old Politician, "to be a good denouncer." "A good what?"

"Denouncer. Keep your eyes open for objects of popular disapproval, and when you 're sure you 've got hold of something that is heartily disapproved by the great majority of the people, denounce it. At present I should advise you to denounce the high cost of living, the profiteers, and the Bolshevists. Next year, of course, the list may be quite different, but for the present those three are the best objects of denunciation."

"What bothers me," suggested the Young Politician in a hesitating voice, "is that it may be rather hard to drag those things into the campaign. Suppose, for example, I 'm pledged to broaden the Main Street of the city upon my election to the city council.

Won't it be rather hard to tie the Main Street and the Bolshevists together?"

The Old Politician looked upon the troubled face of the Young Politician with disgust.

"You 're a great politician, you are," he said wearily. "Tie them together? Don't be so ridiculously logical." He rose to his feet, and as he did so he smote the table once more with his fist. "Gen-tle-men," he cried hoarsely, surveying an imaginary audience with his glittering eye, "there is a movement on foot in this very county, this very State, nay, this very city, to undermine our Congress, to topple over the Constitution, to put a bomb under our President! Confronted by such a menace to our democratic institutions, what, gentlemen, shall be our answer? Let us broaden Main Street, as Washington Iwould have broadened it, as Lincoln would have broadened it, and let us put down the red flag wherever it shows its head!"

"Its mast," corrected the Young Politician, visibly moved. "Thank you for those courageous, those hundred-percent. words. I shall try to strike that note. But there is something else I want to ask. Suppose I am elected. What shall I do while I hold office in

order that I may become ultimately eligible for still higher office?"

"In that case," replied the old man, who by this time had subsided into his chair, "you must not merely denounce the high cost of living, the profiteers, and the Bolshevists; you must campaign against them."

"But suppose I am a commissioner of roads or an attorney-general," queried the Young Politician. "In that case, clearly such things lie outside my province. How can I campaign against them?"

"My dear young man," said the Old Politician, with a weary smile, "don't bother about your province, as you call it. Your job will undoubtedly be uninteresting, and the public won't know anything about it or care anything about it, and the test of your success will be your ability to conduct campaigns which have nothing to do with your job, and therefore stand some chance of interesting the public. There is no reason why even an attorney-general should n't campaign against anything, provided he handle his campaign. right.

"The principal thing to bear in mind is that you must begin your campaigns noisily and end them so quietly that the

sound of their ending is drowned in the noise of the next campaign's beginning. Let's say you begin with a campaign against the high cost of living. First come out with a statement that you, as attorney-general or commissioner of roads or what not, are going to knock the high cost of living to bits, and the whole force of the Government will be behind you. That will put you on the front page once. Then send out telegrams calling a conference to take steps against the cost of living. That will put you on the front page again. Then when the conference meets, address them, and tell them they 've got to make conditions better, simply got to. By the way, you ought to have a couple of able secretaries to help you with these speeches, or, better still, to do the routine work of your office so that there will be nothing to divert your mind from your campaigns. Then, after you have the conference well started, step out. Don't stay with them; they may begin asking you for constructive ideas. Step clear out of the thing, and start a new campaign.

"I can't over-emphasize the fact that when the conference is well started, you must help the public to forget about it, and stir up interest in something new. Flay the profiteer for a month or two, and get a conference going on profiteers. Rap the Bolshevists, and telegraph for a crowd of citizens to come and probe the Bolshevists while you 're deciding what your next campaign shall be. Don't let the people's minds run back to the high cost of living, or they 'll be likely to notice that it has n't gone down. Refer constantly to the success of your own campaigns, and keep the public mind moving."

The Young Politician was visibly impressed, but apparently a doubt still lingered in his mind.

"There's one thing I 'm afraid I don't quite understand," he said at last. "All this denouncing and rapping and probing is n't it likely to look rather destructive? Will people want to vote for a man whose pleasantest mood is one of indignation?"

"My dear young man,” replied the Old Politician, "I fear that you misunderstood me. A politician must be al

ways pleasant to the people who are about him, and denounce only persons who are not present. You should compliment your audience when speaking. Be sure to make the right speech in the right place; don't get off your profiteer speech to the Merchants' Association, or they may begin to wonder whether they agree with you, but draw their hearts to yours with your anti-Bolshevik speech; assure them that you and they are going to save the nation from red ruin. Denunciation is pleasant if it's somebody else who is getting denounced. Tell the merchants or the newspaper publishers or the party committeemen, or whoever it is that you are addressing, that they are the most important element in the community and that the war could not have been won if they had not stepped forward to a man and done their duty. That 's good to hear.

"Finally, give them a little patriotic rapture. Tell them this is a new age we 're in. Picture to them the capitalist and working-man walking hand in hand with their eyes on the flag. Make the great heart of America throb for them. Unpleasant? Why, if you top off with a heart-throb, you can make the most denunciatory speech delightful for one and all."

The Young Politician rose.

"I see," he said. "Thank you. Have you any other advice?"

"Merely one or two minor hints," said the Old Politician. "If the photographers want to take your picture teaching your baby to walk, let them do it; the public loves the home life of its leader. Always be affable to the reporters, but never state your views explicitly, or you may find them embarrassing at some later date. Stick to generalities. I think that's all."

"Thank you again," said the Young Politician, putting out his hand. "You are very good. You 're " An idea seemed to seize his mind, and his bearing perceptibly altered. "You, sir, are a good American. I'm always delighted to have an evening with a man who is absolutely one-hundred-per-cent. patriotic American to the core."

"Good night," said the Old Politician. "You 're getting it very nicely. I think you'll do well."

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