00

it."

A gontlenian, on hearing a lady praising the eyes of a certain mir- The two most precions things on this side or the gravo are cha. ister, wrote the following:

racter and life; adc it is to be lamented th:1 th : most contemptible " I cannot praise the doctor's eyes;

whisper may deprive us of the one, and the weakest weapon of the I never saw his glance divine;

otherr. For wben he prays he shots bis eyes,

Foote, praising the hospitality of the Irish, after one of his trips And when he preaches he shuts mine."

to the sister kingdom, a gentleman asked him if he had been at Cork.

No, sir," said Foote, but I have seen many drawings of it." Two OLT CAMPAIGNERS. First 0.C_"Why, Bob, do you like quadrilles and all that sort be home to dinner that it is one of his fast" days.

SHREWD SUGGESTION.-It often happens when the husband fails to of thing, eh?" Second 0. C.--"Well, ro; it's not the quadrille that I care for,

A muff is a thing that holds the softest hand without squeezing ito but I don't like to eat a man's supper without doing something for

A MUSICAL JUDGE.-A certain judge, having been called on at a THE DIFFERENCE.—“My dear sir,” said Drainsticks to a young public meeting for a 8078, segretied it was not in bis power to gentleman who had just been made the father of a bouncing baby, gratify the company. A wag who was present observed tbat be was "my dear sir, can you tell me in what your present position varies

moch surprised at the refu-al, as it waw notorious that numbers bad from that of the same individual, one year ago ?”

been transported by the judge's voice “ Can't say that I can, Drumsticks."

T.-Those ladies who have a passion for tea.parties aboald ro. " I will tell yon. One year ago you were a sighing lover; now you member that tattle begins with t. are a loving sire!”

À man who was imprisoned for bigamy complained that he had It is said that some mothers in America have grown so affection- been severely dealt with for an offence which carries its owu punishate, that they give their children chloroform previous to whipping ment. them.

Josh Billings says, " When once axed if I believed in the final A nervois old man whose life was made miserable by the clatter. salvation of men, 1 sed, 'Yes--but let me pick the men. ing of two rival blacksmiths, prevailed upon each of them to remove, by the offer of a liberal pecuniary compensation. When

What is the difference between porseverance and obstinacy? the money was paid down, ne kindly inquired what neighborhood Ans ---One is a strong will and the other a strong won't they intended to remove to? 'Whv, sir," replied Jack, with a grin on his phiz, “Tom Smith beam ont of his own eyes if he could sell the timber.

Foote expressed the belief that a certain m'ger wonld take the moves to my shop, and I move to his !" “My dear wife, I wish you would try to keep your temper."

An eble physiologist has written that one-fifth of the buman body "My dear husband, I wish you would try to get rid of yours.”

is composed of phosphorus. Punch remarks, that most likely ac.

counts for the number of matches. Doring the Crimean war a woman went to a grocer's shop, and in The head of a turtle, for some time af'er its separating from the paying oer hill she found she was paying nearly double for her can.

body, retains and exhibits animal life and repeations. An Irishman dles; so she asked what was the reason candles were so dear,

decapitated one, and afterwards w88 amusing bim8911 bo potting The grocer replied, “Oh, it is the war.”'

• Dear me !" said the woman. have they got to be fighting by sticks in its month, which it dit witla violence. A lady who saw the candlelight ?''

proceeding, exclaimed :

" Why, Patrick, I thought the turtle was dead ? A BOOK FOR PRIVATE CIRCULATION ONLY. -The late King of "So he is ma'am, but the crather's not sorrible of it.'' Prussia once rent to an aide-de-camp. Coione: Malachowki, who was brave but poor, a small portfolio, bound like a book, in which were " I suppose, said a quack, while teeling the pulee of a patient. deposited five hundred crowns. Sometime after he met the officer,

"that you think me a humbag?' and said to him, “Ah, well, bow did you like the new work which

“Sir," replied the sick man." } perceive you can discover a I sent ynu ?"

man's taoughis by his pulse." “Excessively, sire,” replied the colonel. “I read it with such

“Mamma says it is not polite to ask for cake," said a little boy. interest (hat I expect the second volume with impatience.".

"No," was the reply: "it does not look wel in lit:le boys to The king smiled, and when the officer's birthday arrived he predo ." sented him with another portfolio, similar in every respect to the “ But," said the urchin, "she didn't say I must nor eat a piece I first, but wth these words engraved upon it: “ This work is com.

you gave it to me. plete ja two volumes." “Sam," said one little urchin to another, Sam does your school apprentices, who will be treated as one of the family."

At a shop window appeared the following votice:"Wanted, two maste ever give yon any rewards of merit ?''

" I'apose he do 29," was the rejoinder; '. be gives me a thrashing The oldest newspaper in the world is published in Pekla. It is regularly every day, and says I merit two."

printed on a large sheet of 8lk, and, it is said, has made a weekly THE Tooth of TIME.-“When Ninereh has departed, and Palmyra apppearance for upward: of a thousand years. is in rains; when Imperial Rome has fallen, and the Pyramids them. CALL IT GUILTY. - in a recent case of a gault the defendant selves are sinking into decay, it is no wonder,” sighed a French pleaded guilty. “I tbiok I must he guilty," said he. “ because the humorist, " that my old black coat should be getting

seedy at the plaintiff and me were the only ones there were in the room, and the elbows."

first thing I knew I w98 standing up, and he was doubled over on

the floor. You'd better call it guilty." Teacher.—“What part of speech is the word egg?!" Boy_"Nono, sir."

Old Madame Rothschild, mother of the great capitalists, attained “ What is its gender ?"

the age of ninety-eight. Her wit, wbich was remarkable, and her “ Can't tell, sir."

intellectual faculties, which were of no common order. were pre“Is it masculine, feminine, or neuter ?”

served to the end. In ber last illores when surrouoded by her “ Cap't say, sir, till its hatched."

family, her physician being present. she said in a suppliant tone to “Well, then, my lad, can you tell me the case ?"

the lat'er: “Oh, yes, the shell, sir."

" Dear doctor, try to do something for me."

“ Madame, what can I do? I can't make you young again." NOVEL ECONOMY.-A new system of economy is related to have

“No, doctor. I don't want to be yung again, but I want to con. been discovered by a savant of the Jockey Club. He noticed a

tinue to grow old." poor man wi'h a wooden leg one day walking past his hotel, and gave him a franc. The next day he saw the supposed beggar, but

ABITE NETICAL PROBLEMS. he had changed the wooden leg from the right to the left leg. En.

If five and a half yards make one Pole, how many will make a Rusraged at the deception, le went up to the man, and exclaimed,

sian ? "You ra.cal, you had the wooden leg on the other leg yesterday !

If forty perches make one rood, how many will make one polite ? You are not lane at ail"

If seven days make one week, how many will make one strong ? “Monsieur," was the response, with dignity," I never raid I was. I wear a wooden leg for economy, so as not to wear ont my An eccentric party, of which Donglas Jerrold was one, agreed to trousers, and I change the leg, to prevent one leg of the trousers bave a sopper of sheeps' heads. One gentleman present was par. wearing out before the other."

ticularly enthusiastic on the excellence of the dish; and, as he “Mother,” said a little fellow the other day, “is there any harm threw down, kis knife and fork, shouted, "Well, sheeps beads for

ever. gay I!” in breaking egg-shells ?''

" There's egotism!” exclaimed Jerrold. “ Certainly not, my dear; hut why do you ask ?"

“'Cause I dropped the basket just now, and see what a mess I am A gentleman said a few days ago to a friend, "Let us go to-night in with the yoiks!"

to see the girls at the opera." “Now, gentlemen,” said Sheridan to his guests, as the ladies left

His more gallant friend replied, "Would it not be better to say, the room, let us understand each other. Are we to drink like men

“Let's go and see beauty in tiers ?” or beasts?"

A drunkard went the other doy and signed the pledge. This had Some xbat indignant, the guests exclaimed, " Like men, of so depressing an effect on the receipts of a tavern keeper, with course."

whom the reformed one had had extensive dealings, that the said " Then," he replied, "we are going to get jolly drunk, for brutes landlord was shortly after compelled to rush to the nearest pawn. never drink more than they want."

broker's and pledge the sign. “I wonder," said a woman of humor, “why my husband and I " There are ties which never should be revered," as the ill-need quarrel so often? for we agree uniformly in one point-he wishes to wife said when she found her b:ateof a husband hanging in the hay. be master, and so do I."

A witticism that has

A geatleman passing been circulated in many

through one of our pubforms, originated with

lic offices was affronted Lord Brougbam, when

by some clerks, and was he said that Lord Camp

advised to complain to bell's practice of writ.

the priocipal, which he ing the Lives of the

did, thus: " I have been Chancellors of England

abused here by some of had added a new terror

the rascals of this place, to death.

and I came to acquaint

you of it, as I under We saw & boy the

stand you are the prinother day borrow a

cipal." stick of candy from a comrade to show him

A poor Frenchman that he could pull it out

being aroused from his of his ear. He swal.

sleep by his wife, with lowed it, and then

the cry, “ Get op Baptwisted himself about

tiste, there's a robber in various ways to ex

in the house," calmly tract it, but at length

answered, “Don't let us informed his companion

molest him. Let him that he had forgotten

ransack the house, and that part of the trick.

if he should find any.

thing of value, we'll Said an old customer

take it away from him." afflicted with a bad cold to a pharmaceutist of

If a low chap affront wbom ho had bought

you, feel no anger and various kinds of mix.

give no rebuke; one is tures to no porpose," I

not obliged to pitch must take up a sub

into" a ditch because it scription among my

happens to lie_before

him. friends to pay the medi. cipe bill.”

females of “I think,” rejoined the proprietor of the

order to keep , mortar and pestle,

fill their mouths with your frieuds would

water. Our women fill rather pay for your A CASE OF REAL DISTRESS.

theirs with tea, and gos. coughing."

sip more than ever. Flora can see a letter from him, but cannot get it for at least ten minutes, because When boying a pair

Pa has the key.

"Lassie," said a Cock of pantaloons be sure

ney tourist in Scotland and have them large enough-never be too big for your breeches. to a barefooted peasant girl," Do all the people in these parts go

barefooted ?" A gentleman, in advertising for a wife, says: “It would be well if the lady were poseessed of a competency sufficient to secure her settler be got for

a reply.

“ Part of them do, and the rest mind their own business," was the against excessive grief in case of an accident occurring to her com. panion.”

If considered out of your mind-toank heaven you have a mind to Prentice wishes that some thorough admirer of Jeff Davis would be out of. answer us this question. How can a man be his wife's mother?

Words withont deeds are like the husks without the seeds. “How far is it to Taunton ?" aske 1 a countryman, who was walk.

Features withont grace are like a clock without a face.. ing exactly the wrong way to reach the town.

A land without the laws is like a cat without her claws. " 'Bout twenty-four thousand miles," said the lad he asked, “ if Life without cheer is like a cellar without beer. you are going the way you are going now; about a mile, if you turn

A master without a cane is like a rider withont the rein. round."

Marriage without means is like a horse without his beans.

A man without a wife is like a fork without a knife "Jim, I believe Sambo's got no truth in him."

" You don't know; dere's more truth in dat nigga dan all de rest Thackery, when speaking about fame, would frequently tell the on de plantation.”

following anecdote: When at dinner in St. Lonis one day, he heard “How do you make dat?”

one waiter at the hotel say to another, "Do you know who that is ?" “ Why, he neber let's any out."

“No," was the answer.

“ That is the celebrated Mr. Thacker." An Irishman complained to his physician that he stuffed him so

“ What's he done?” much with drugs, that he was sick a long time after he got well

“Blessed if I know," was the reply.

LITERATURE.
P.GE

PAGE A Loveless Story · 165 THE EGYPTIAN CROCODILE. Engraving

- 206 DEER IN THE CENTRAL PARK. Engraving • 171 Faust and Marguerite

• 206 Wedding and Wooing • • 171 Ruin

- 213 Prudent Grethel 175 Household Receipts

- 213 A WIFE BY WILL. Engraving · 177 A String of Beads

. 215 A Leap for Life

- 183 POETRY-Shadows, 165 ; The Old Letter, 171 ; The Widow's THE LIGATHOUSE OF THE SKEVE MHOIL. Two Engs. 185

Marriage, 183 ; "Only,'' 194 ; Baby is King. 261: The ARMADALE-Continued. By Wilkie Collins

1941
Hainted House

213 A STRANGE ADVENTURE OF A NIGHT. Engraving - 201 Miscellaneous. GAVIAL OR GANGETIC CROCODILE. Engraving

206

ENORA VINO, Deer in Central Park 169, Girl and Butterfly

· 193 The Cat's Portrait

176

"He unsheathed a huge clasp knife as he spoke. “Married in six months !" - 177 The Gavial or Gangetic Crocodile

• 209 “She started to her feet at the sight of two strange faces." 185 The Egyptian Crocodile

- 209 Mam Gorlock going to the Lamp room

· 185 | Three Comic Illustratiopg-What can be Done with a Waterfall 216

• 201

G A ZETTE OF FASHION. Four-page Engraving of the Latest Fashions.

Diadem Head-dress, Astrea Head-dress, Muslin Collar and Colored Fashion Plate.

Sleeve

• 158 Paper Patterns of Louis XV. Paletot.

Eleven Cloaks, Mantles, &c.

- 169 Full-sized Patterns of Little Girl's Paletot.

Orpaments for th : Hair. Thirteen Engravings

· 161 White Chip Bonnet, Two Breakfast Cape

163 Back and Front of Black Silk Jacket, Front and Back of Light Seven Styles of Coats, Jackets, &c. 155 Cloth Jacket

- 162 Hungarian Paletot, Trouville Paletot, English Paletot, Parmina Out-door Costumes

- 163 Paletot 156 Clotilde Apron, Cora Apron, Clara Apron

. 164 Square Corsage, Foular] Jacket, Muslin Jacket

157
Terms for Frank Leslie's Lady's Magazine, $3 50 per year.

terial as the dress, with coat sleeves—all trimmed with revers | Dating at the back in a deep square jacket; it is trimmed of silk to match the skirt. Straw bonnet, studded with jet entirely round by a band of maize-color silk, edged with parrow beads, and trimmed with blue ribbon.

velvet and black lace, the skirt having also two rows of six Fig. 7.-Stella bat of Belgian straw, of the empress shape, buttons in passementerie, blue with a black centre. Waistcoat with a crystal star in front, and blue and white streamers at the of maize-color silk, closing with black silk buttons, and trimmed back. Dress of dotted foulard-blue and white-scalloped with narrow lace and black velvet. The sleeves are small, the around the skirt, and trimmed with two rows of blue silk--the cuff forming a Greek border, the epaulet to correspond, Bon. lower double the width of the upper. Under waist and sleeves det of fulled silk, with a fall of blonde at the back, a group of of plain white foulard, trimmed around the neck, arm-holes, marguerites at each side, and ends of pink ribbon. Blonde cap and down the front with baods of blue silk. Corslet of silk to with marguerites and broad strings. match the skirt, with a belt of blue silk fastoned with a pearl Fig. 12.—This dress represents the front view of the preceedbuckle, and with ends all around, graduated in length, and ing figure, showing the style in which the waistcoat is cut. edged with fringe.

Fig. 13.-Dross of Magenta silk, with a puffed band of silk Fig. 8.-Leghorn bonnet, trimmed with bands of velvet, around the bottom of the stift, ornamented with rows of steeltassels and lace. Silk dress and pardessus, trimmed with a gimp trimming. High round corsage, the trimming forms a founos put on in fancy festoons, and headed with velvet jacket in front and a belt at the back, fastened by a rosette with sprinkled with jet or stoel beads. A simulated cape of two four long ends. Jet buttons, encircled with steel, ornament widtbs of velvet, with drop buttons, ornament the waist. Coat the front and sleeves, and three are placed on the back plalt, sleeves trimmed to match the skirt.

just below the waist. Empire style of head-dress, composed of Fig. 9.-A foulard or alpaca dress with a ruche above the three bands of Magenta silk, studded with ateel. hem. A small casaque trimmed with a ruche upon the Fig. 14.-Dress of mauve silk, trimmed around the bottom of edge; epaulets and slooves. A pink tulle bonnet; a wreath the skirt and up each seam with rows of lilac silk, edged with formed with black ribbons ; similar ribbons falling in plaits at narrow white silk cord. High corsage, very open basques in the back.

front, and very much pointed at the back. Coat sleeves. Chip Fig. 10.--A grey linos dress over a petticoat of the same bonnet, trimmed with velvet and flowers. material. The skirt is looped up with gimp bands, and Fig. 15.-Dreas of pearl gray silk ; the skirt is scalloped at trimmed with narrow black ribbon velvet. The paletot is the bottom, and bound with blue silk; the space between the ornamented to correspond. The bat is bordered with black soallops is filled by quillings of blue allk, and in each scallop a velvet, and trimmed with three buttons ; light kid boots. group of flowers is embroidered in blue. The caraco, or loose

Fig. 11.-Dress of light purple silk; on the left side, the skirt jacket, is cut square, closing at the throat only; it is edged opens its entire length, on a breadth of maize-color silk; on with blue and has a flower embroidered in the corners. The each side of the opening is a Greek border of maize-color silk, sleeves are open at the back of the arm, the corners left square, edged with a very narrow black velvet, and on one side only of they are edged with blue, and have a flower embroidered to the border, an edging of narrow black lace: the maize-rolor correspond with the caraco; the epaulet is formed by a quilling silk montant is ornamented at the bottom by two flatings of the of blue silk, Chemisette and sleeves of plaited muslin. Ceinsame silk, headed by two rows of narrow black velvet and black ture of broad blue ribbon, with large gold buckle. lace. The body, in the front, is of the senorita form, termi. Fig. 16.—Dress of stripod black and white silk and plain

black silk. The upper skirt is cut in deep scallops, edged at the bottom with a quilling of black, between which is seen a deep flounce of the striped silk. The corsage is composed of a little square Milanais corslet, laced up at the back, front and sides, and confined at the shoulders with bows of black ribbon. Underwaist and sleeves of striped silk.

Fig. 17. – Walking dress of very light Havana silk or poplin ; the skirt, without trimming, is extremely full at the bottom, The paletot fits close to the figure, and is open in the front, the edges bound with green silk; the collar and lappel are of green silk to correspond; the shaped sleeves are open at the back of arm, are bound with green silk, and have three mother-of-pearl buttons. The waistcoat, with deep skirt, is the same length os

the paletot, and is in fact one with it, being etitched to it at the side and shoulder seams; the cdges are all bound with bright green silk, and it closes by seven mother-of-pearl buttons; the pockets have the edges bound, and buttons to correspond ; the paletot is fastened to the waistcoat by five large mother-of-pearl buttons. Leghorn hat, bound with green velvet; a green velvet band with a bow and ends at the back; in front a butterfly in mother-of-pearl, white and green feathers on the left side.

Fig. 18.- Dress of light green silk; the bottom of the skirt is trimmed with shells of silk, finished off at the top by a bow of lace. Russian jacket, trimmed with ruches and lace. Underwaist and sleeves of white maglin. Wide belt. Chip bonnet, trimmed with velvet.