As I fhall have occafion to mention Walker and his lordship again in the courfe of my narrative, I fhall add nothing further relative to them here, but purfue my journey to London.

Upon my arrival in town, I had the happiness to find that the intelligence I had received of my mother's indifpofition was but a falfe alarm. That Mr. Calcraft's gout had only been occafioned by potations ftrong. And that my dear little girl, whom Mr. Adair had attended with unremitted affiduity, was thought by him not to be in fo dangerous a ftate as was firft expected.

There is nothing excites the tender paffions fo much as indifpofition. To a susceptible mind, a friend or relative labouring under difeafe and pain, is doubly endeared by the afflictive vifitation. least such have always been my fenfations. Which induced my dear departed friend, Mifs Conway, to declare, that I fhould make the beft Beguine that ever attended an hofpital. No wonder then that anxiety took entire poffeffion of my mind, when the angel of death feemed to threaten with his dart the little innocent, whofe happiness my own was fo entwined with. Mr. Calcraft appeared to have no apprehen

*An order of nuns, who by their rules are obliged to attend the fick.

fions but for the lofs of beauty in his darling child,

from the disfiguring disease.

To

This, however, was the leaft of my care. me, a want of attraction in her, feemed rather more defirable. Judging from fad experience, I lamented my own power to please. For though a sense of duty enabled me to behave with the utmost propriety towards Mr. Calcraft; and an abfence of almost eighteen months had obliterated all fenfations of tenderness for Mr. Metham; it was with per petual regret I reflected, that I had ever had any qualifications which could have been the means of my being forced into a connection with a man I never could love.

Cupid has been represented by painters, in the attitude of riding upon the moft powerful of beafts, and guiding it according to his will. But it never entered into the imagination of thefe depicting fons of fcience, that Love himself was to be rendered fubfervient to any fway.-He rules with as high a hand as the most defpotic fovereign.-And as it is not in the power of mortals to withstand his fhafts, so neither is it to direct them.-The union of hearts is a prerogative in which he will not bear the least controul.I must therefore ftand acquitted for not being able to beftow my affection on a man, whofe mind the great Uniter of hearts had not fet in unison with my own. Affection

B 5

Affection might be counterfeited indeed; and it too often is; but the deception cannot laft long. Nor would I forfeit that fincerity I fo much value myself on, to reign the miftrefs of the world.

May you, my dear, when your appointed hour comes (for an appointed hour, they fay, there is for love as well as death), find, in the man you call your's, a foul congenial to your own! And may you never know, like me, what it is to bestow your hand where it cannot be accompanied with your heart!

G. A. B.

LETTER LV.

February 23, 17--,

My favourite Sterne, in his Sentimental Journey,

--

when he fet out in order to wait upon the French minister at Verfailles, and went to the count de B's, exclaims, "I think there is a fatality "in it. I feldom go to the place I fet out for." I have frequently made a fimilar obfervation (and I think I have hinted fomething of it in a former letter), which is, that our best laid plans are often circumvented. Thus, I fet off for Briftol, agreeable to the account I gave you in my last, in order to enjoy a few weeks of relaxation from the cares and anxieties

anxieties I was conftantly a prey to. But I was not fuffered by the invifible agents who make all our moves, to carry my defign into execution. I had no fooner reached the place of my deftination, than from unforeseen accidents my recall had outstripped myfelf; my expectations were totally frustrated; and I was obliged to return to accumulated vexations.—Such difappointments, I know, are usually imputed to accident, and lightly thought of. But I cannot help confidering them as a part of the arrangement of the aforefaid sportive beings, who are either permitted to enjoy the perplexities which they themselves occafion to poor mortals; or elfe, they are intended. as trials of our patience and fubmiffion.-Proceed in your story, fay you-I obey.

The next season, from an incidental circumstance, was productive of a confiderable addition to my income. Mr. Barry introduced upon the stage a young lady, who was unhappily partial to him. Upon her being engaged, Mr. Rich requested my permiffion for her to depute in Juliet; which I readily granted. This lady, whose name was Noffiter, in addition to a genteel figure, had had a liberal education bestowed upon her by the late Lord Cholmondeley, as her mother attended his lordship in the quality. of housekeeper.

Barry, who spent his whole income in entertaining his countrymen, upon this occafion brought his Hibernian phalanx to fupport the lady. He likewife spoke an occafional prologue by way of introduction to her. In this there was introduced a line containing the words, and just her age. Mrs. Cibber having planted herself in the front row of the balcony, fo injudicious a step attracted the notice of Barry; and when he came to that fentence, he spoke it fo pointedly, that it could not fail of hitting the lady over him; who, though now advanced into the vale of years, ftill continued to perform the youthful character of Juliet. The audience likewife felt the juftice of their application. And as they always kindly intereft themselves in the fuccefs of a new performer, fhewed their disapprobation of Mrs. Cibber's imprudence, by bestowing a profufion of applause on the new Juliet.

I had caused it to be ftipulated in my articles, that I was to have a larger falary than any other female performer at that theatre. Mrs. Woffington was prevented by indifpofition from appearing this winter. And confequently, as Mr. Barry infifted upon having five hundred pounds for his pupil, my falary was raised to five hundred guineas. But what was of much more confequence to me, it procured me a confiderable relaxation from the duties of the stage,

and