་ and figures. What my good friend started | these rascally cits-'Ounds, why should not dwelt upon me after I came home this evening, there be a tax to make these dogs widen their and led me into an inquiry with myself, whence gates? Oh! but the hell-hounds inove at last.' should arise such strange excrescences in dis- Ay,' said I, 'I knew you would make them course? whereas it must be obvious to all rea- whip on, if once they heard you.'——' No,' sonable beings, that the sooner a man speaks says he, but would it not fret a man to the his mind, the more complaisant he is to the devil, to pay for being carried slower than he man with whom he talks: but, upon mature can walk? Look ye! there is for ever a stop deliberation, I am come to this resolution, that at this hole by St. Clement's church. Blood, for one man who speaks to be understood, there you dog! Hark ye, sirrah!Why, and be are ten who talk only to be admired. d-d to you, do not you drive over that fellow?-Thunder, furies, and damnation! I will cut your ears off, you fellow before there-Come hither, you dog you, and let me wring your neck round your shoulders.' We had a repetition of the same eloquence at the Cockpit, and the turning into Palace-yard. The ancient Grecks had little independent syllables called expletives, which they brought into their discourses both in verse and prose, for no other purpose but for the better grace and sound of their sentences and periods. I know no example but this, which can authorize the use of more words than are necessary. But whether it be from this freedom taken by that wise nation, or however it arises, Dick Reptile hit upon a very just and common cause of offence in the generality of people of all orders. We have one here in our lane, who speaks nothing without quoting an authority; for it is always with him, so and so, as the man said.' He asked me this morning, how I did, as the man said?' and hoped I would come now and then to see him, as the man said.' I am acquainted with another, who never delivers himself upon any subject, but he cries, he only speaks his poor judgment; this is his humble opinion; as for his part, if he might presume to offer any thing on that subject.'But of all the persons who add elegances and superfluities to their discourses, those who deserve the foremost rank are the swearers; and the lump of these may, I think, be very aptly divided into the common distinction of high and low. Dulness and barrenness of thought is the original of it in both these sects, and they differ only in constitution. The low is generally a phlegmatic, and the high a chole-figure which Shakspeare gives Harry the Fifth ric coxcomb. The man of phlegm is sensible upon his expedition against France. The poet of the emptiness of his discourse, and will tell wishes for abilities to represent so great a hero: you, that, 'I'fackins,' such a thing is true; or, if you warm him a little, he may run into passion, and cry, Odsbodikins, you do not say right.' But the high affects a sublimity in dulness, and invokes hell and damnation' at the breaking of a glass, or the slowness of a drawer. This gave me a perfect image of the insignificancy of the creatures who practise this enor mity; and made me conclude, that it is ever want of sense makes a man guilty in this kind. It was excellently well said, that this folly had no temptation to excuse it, no man being born of a swearing constitution.' In a word, a few rumbling words and consonants clapped together without any sense, will make an accomplished swearer. It is needless to dwell long upon this blustering impertinence, which is already banished out of the society of wellbred men, and can be useful only to bullies and ill tragic writers, who would have sound and noise pass for courage and sense. I was the other day trudging along Fleet. street on foot, and an old army friend came up with me. We were both going towards West. minster; and, finding the streets were so crowded that we could not keep together, we resolved to club for a coach. This gentleman I knew to be the first of the order of the choleric. I must confess, were there no crime in it, nothing could be more diverting than the impertinence of the high juror: for, whether there is remedy or not against what offends him, still he is to show he is offended; and he must, sure, not omit to be magnificently passionate, by falling on all things in his way. We were stopped by a train of coaches at Temple-bar. What the devil!' says my companion, cannot you drive on, coachman? Dn you all, for a set of sons of whores; you will stop here to be paid by the hour! There is not such a set of confounded dogs as the coachmen unhanged! But 2 K St. James's Coffee-house, February 22. Harwich, who left that place just as the duke There arrived a messenger last night from of Marlborough was going on board. The chathe command of his queen, and at the request racter of this important general going out by of his country, puts me in mind of that noble Oh for a muse of fire! Then should the warlike Harry like himself, A conqueror drawn like the god of battle, with such a dreadful leash of hell-hounds at his command, makes a picture of as much majesty and terror as is to be met with in any poct. Shakspeare understood the force of this particular allegory so well, that he had it in his thoughts in another passage, which is altogether as daring and sublime as the former. What I mean is in the tragedy of Julius Caesar, where Antony, after having foretold the blood-shed and destruction that should be brought upon the earth by the death of that great man, to fill up the horror of his description, adds the following verses: ⚫ And Cæsar's spirit, raging for revenge, I do not question but these quotations will call to mind, in my readers of learning and taste, that imaginary person described by Vit 22* gil with the same spirit. He mentions it upon | tion of that pleasure run through his whole the occasion of a peace which was restored to carriage. It is as common in life, as upon the the Roman empire; and which we may now hope for from the departure of that great man, who has given occasion to these reflections. The temple of Janus, says he, shall be shut, and in the midst of it military Fury shall sit upon a pile of broken arms, loaded with a hundred chains, bellowing with madness, and grinding his teeth in blood. The tickets which were delivered out for the benefit of Signor Nicolini Grimaldi on the twenty-fourth instant, will be taken on Thursday the second of March, his benefit being deferred until that day. N. B. In all operas for the future, where it thunders and lightens in proper time, and in tune, the matter of the said lightning is to be of the finest rosin; and, for the sake of harmony, the same which is used to the best Cremona fiddles. Note also, that the true perfumed lightning is only prepared and sold by Mr. Charles Lillie, at the corner of Beaufort-buildings. The lady who has chosen Mr. Bickerstaff for her Valentine, and is at a loss what to present him with, is desired to make him, with her own hands, a warm nightcap. No. 138.] Saturday, February 25, 1709-10. Apart from these, the happy souls he draws, Sheer-lane, February 24. Ir is an argument of a clear and worthy spirit in a man to be able to disengage himself from the opinions of others, so far as not to let the deference due to the sense of mankind ensnare him to act against the dictates of his own reason. But the generality of the world are so far from walking by any such maxim, that it is almost a standing rule to do as others do, or be ridiculous. I have heard my old friend, Mr. Hart, speak it as an observation among the players, that it is impossible to act with grace, except the actor has forgot that he is before an audience.' Until he is arrived at that, his motion, his air, his every step and gesture, has something in them which discovers he is under a restraint, for fear of being ill received; or if he considers himself as in the presence of those who approve his behaviour, you see an affecta stage, to behold a man in the most indifferent action betray a sense he has of doing what he is about gracefully. Some have such an immoderate relish for applause, that they expect it for things, which in themselves are so frivolous, that it is impossible, without this affectation, to make them appear worthy either of blame or praise. There is Will Glare, so passionately intent upon being admired, that when you see him in public places, every muscle of his face discovers, his thoughts are fixed upon the consideration of what figure he makes. He will often fall into a musing posture, to attract observation; and is then obtruding himself upon the company, when he pretends to be withdrawn from it. Such little arts are the certain and infallible tokens of a superficial mind, as the avoiding observation is the sign of a great and sublime one. It is therefore extremely difficult for a man to judge even of his own actions, without forming to himself an idea of what he should act, were it in his power to execute all his desires without the observation of the rest of the world. There is an allegorical fable in Plato, which seems to admonish us, that we are very little acquainted with ourselves, while we know our actions are to pass the censures of others; but, had we the power should then easily inform ourselves how far we to accomplish all our wishes unobserved, we are possessed of real and intrinsic virtue. The who is said to have had an enchanted ring, fable I was going to mention is that of Gyges, which had in it a miraculous quality, making him who wore it visible or invisible, as he turned it to or from his body. The use Gyges made of his occasional invisibility was, by the advantage of it, to violate a queen, and murder a king. Tully takes notice of this allegory, and says very handsomely, that a man of honour who had such a ring would act just in the same manner as he would without it.' It is indeed no small pitch of virtue, under the temp tation of impunity, and the hopes of accomplishing all a man desires, not to transgress the rules of justice and virtue; but this is rather not being an ill man, than being positively a good one; and it seems wonderful, that so great a soul as that of Tully should not form to himself a thousand worthy actions, which a virtuous mind would be prompted to by the possession of such a secret. There are certainly some part of mankind who are guardian-beings to the other. Sallust could say of Cato, 'That he had rather be, than appear, good,' but, indeed, this eulogium rose no higher than, as I just now hinted, to an inoffensiveness, rather than an active virtue. Had it occurred to the noble orator to represent, in his language, the glorious pleasures of a man secretly employed in beneficence and generosity, it would certainly have made a more charming page than any he has left behind him. How might a man, furnished with Gyges's secret, employ it in bringing together distant friends; laying snares for creating good-will in the room of groundless hatred; in removing the pangs of an unjust jealousy, the shyness of an imperfect reconciliation, and the tremor of an awful love! Such a one could | but lovers, who are put into an immediate regigive confidence to bashful merit, and confusion men. Young politicians also are received withto overbearing impudence. out fees or examination. Certain it is, that secret kindnesses done to mankind are as beautiful as secret injuries are detestable. To be invisibly good, is as godlike, as to be invisibly ill, diabolical. As degenerate as we are apt to say the age we live in is, there are still amongst us men of illustrious minds, who enjoy all the pleasures of good actions, except that of being commended for them. There happens, among other very worthy instances of a public spirit, one which I am obliged to discover, because I know not otherwise how to obey the commands of the benefactor. A citizen of London has given directions to Mr. Rayner, the writing-master of St. Paul's school, to educate at his charge ten boys, who shall be nominated by me, in writing and accounts, until they shall be fit for any trade; I desire, therefore, such as know any proper objects for receiving this bounty, to give notice thereof to Mr. Morphew, or Mr. Lillie; and they shall, if properly qualified, have instructions accordingly. Actions of this kind have in them something so transcendant, that it is an injury to applaud them, and a diminution of that merit which consists in shunning our approbation. shall therefore leave them to enjoy that glorious obscurity; and silently admire their virtue who can contemn the most delicious of human We pleasures, that of receiving due praise. Such celestial dispositions very justly suspend the discovery of their benefactions, until they come where their actions cannot be misinterpreted, and receive their first congratulations in the company of angels. ADVERTISEMENT. No. 139.] Tuesday, February 28, 1709-10. Nihil est quod credere de se Non possit, cum laudatur Diis æqua potestas. Nothing so monstrous can be said or feigned, Sheer-lane, February 27. WHEN I reflect upon the many nights I have sat up for some months last past, in the greatest anxiety for the good of my neighbours and contemporaries, it is no small discouragement to me, to see how slow a progress I make in the sex. are reformation of the world. But indeed I must do my female readers the justice to own, that their tender hearts are much more susceptible of good impressions, than the minds of the other Business and ambition take up men's thoughts too much to leave room for philosophy; but if you speak to women in a style and manner proper to approach them, they never fail to improve by your counsels. I shall, therefore, for the future, turn my thoughts more particularly to their service; and study the best me. thods to adorn their persons, and inform their minds in the justest methods to make them what nature designed them, the most beauteous objects of our eyes, and the most agreeable companions of our lives. But when I say this, I must not omit, at the same time, to look into their errors and mistakes, that being the readiest way to the intended end of adorning and instructing them. It must be acknowledged, that the very inadvertencies of this sex owing to the other; for if men were not flatterers, women could not fall into that general cause of all their follies and our misfortunes, their love of flattery. Were the commendation of these agreeable creatures built upon its proper foundation, the higher we raised their opinion of themselves, the greater would be the advantage to our sex; but all the topic of praise is drawn from very senseless and extravagant ideas we pretend we have of their beauty and perfection. Thus, when a young man falls in love with a young woman, from that moment she is no more Mrs. Alice such-a-one born of such a father, and N. B. No tavern near the Exchange shall educated by such a mother; but from the first deliver wine to such as drink at the bar stand-minute that he cast his eye upon her with deing, except the same shall be three-parts of the best cider; and the master of the house shall produce a certificate of the same from Mr. Tintoret, or some other credible wine-painter. Whereas the model of the intended Bedlam is now finished, and the edifice itself will be very suddenly begun; it is desired, that all such as have relations, whom they would recommend to our care, would bring in their proofs with all speed: none being to be admitted, of course, Whereas Mr. Bickerstaff, by a letter bearing date this twenty-fourth of February, has received information, that there are in and about the Royal Exchange a sort of people commonly known by the name of Whetters, who drink themselves into an intermediate state of being neither drunk nor sober before the hours of Exchange, or business; and in that condition buy and sell stocks, discount notes, and do many other acts of well-disposed citizens; this is to give notice, that from this day forward, no Whetter shall be able to give or endorse any note or execute any other point of commerce, after the third half-pint, before the hour of one: and whoever shall transact any matter or matters with a Whetter, not being himself of that order, shall be conducted to Moor-fields upon the first application of his next of kin. sire, he conceives a doubt in his mind, what heavenly power gave so unexpected a blow to a heart that was ever before untouched. But who can resist fate and destiny, which are lodged in Mrs. Alice's eyes? after which he desires orders accordingly, whether he is to live or die; the smile or frown of his goddess is the only thing that can now either save or destroy him. By this means, the well-humoured girl, that would have romped with him before she had received this declaration, assumes a state suitable to the majesty he has given her, and treats him as the vassal he calls himself. The girl's head is immediately turned by having the power of life and death, and takes care to suit every motion and air to her new sovereignty. After he has placed himself at this distance, he must never hope to recover his former familiarity, until she has had the addresses of another, and found them less sincere. If the application to women were justly turned, the address of flattery, though it implied at the same time an admonition, would be much more likely to succeed. Should a captivated lover, in a billet, let his mistress know, that her piety to her parents, her gentleness of behaviour, her prudent economy with respect to her own little affairs in a virgin condition, had improved the passion which her beauty had inspired him with, into so settled an esteem for her, that of all women breathing he wished her his wife; though his commending her for qualities she knew she had as a virgin, would make her believe he expected from her an answerable conduct in the character of a matron; I will answer for it, his suit would be carried on with less perplexity. Instead of this, the generality of our young women, taking all their notions of life from gay writings, or letters of love, consider themselves as goddesses, nymphs, and shepherdesses. 'MADAM,-I sat near you at the opera last night; but knew no entertainment from the vain show and noise about me, while I waited wholly intent upon the motion of your bright eyes, in hopes of a glance that might restore me to the pleasures of sight and hearing in the midst of beauty and harmony. It is said, the hell of the accursed in the next life arises from an incapa. city to partake of the joys of the blessed, though they were to be admitted to them. Such, I am sure, was my condition all that evening; and if you, my deity, cannot have so much mercy, as to make me by your influence capa ble of tasting the satisfactions of life, my being is ended, which consisted only in your favour.' The letter was hardly read over, when she rushed out of bed in her wrapping gown, and consulted her glass for the truth of his passion. She raised her head, and turned it to a profile, repeating the last line, My being is ended, which consisted only in your favour.' The goddess immediately called her maid, and fell to dressing that mischievous face of hers, without any manner of consideration for the mortal who had offered up his petition. Nay, it was so far otherwise, that the whole time of her woman's combing her hair was spent in discourse of the impertinence of his passion, and ended in declaring a resolution, if she ever had him, to make him wait.' She also frankly told the favorite gipsy that was prating to her, 'that her passionate lover had put it out of her power to be civil to him, if she were inclined to it; for,' said she, if I am thus celestial to my lover, he will certainly so far think himself disapppointas I grow into the familiarity and form of a mortal woman.' By this romantic sense of things, all the natural relations and duties of life are forgotten; and our female part of mankind are bred and treated, as if they were designed to inhabit the happy fields of Arcadia, rather than be wives and mothers in Old England. It is, indeed, longed, since I had the happiness to converse familiarly with this sex, and therefore have been fearful of I came away as I went in, without staying falling into the error which recluse men are very for other remarks than what confirmed me in subject to, that of giving false representations the opinion, that it is from the notions the men of the world, from which they have retired, by inspire them with, that the women are so fanimaginary schemes drawn from their own re-tastical in the value of themselves. This ima flections. An old man cannot easily gain admittance into the dressing room of ladies; I therefore thought it time well spent, to turn over Agrippa, and use all my occult art, to give my old Cornelian ring the same force with that of Gyges, which I have lately spoken of. By the help of this I went unobserved to a friend's house of mine, and followed the chamber-maid invisibly, about twelve of the clock, into the bedchamber of the beauteous Flavia his fine daughter, just before she got up. I drew the curtains; and being wrapped up in the safety of my old age, could with much pleasure, without passion, behold her sleeping, with Waller's poems, and a letter fixed in that part of him where every woman thinks herself described. The light flashing upon her face, awakened her; she opened her eyes, and her lips too, repeating that piece of false wit in that admired poet, Such Helen was: and who can blame the boy, That in so bright a flame consumed his Troy?-Waller. This she pronounced with a most bewitching sweetness; but after it fetched a sigh, that, methought, had more desire than languishment; then took out her letter, and read aloud, for the pleasure, I suppose, of hearing soft words in praise of herself, the following epistle: ginary pre-eminence which is given to the fair sex, is not only formed from the addresses of people of condition; but it is the fashion and humour of all orders to go regularly out of their wits, as soon as they begin to make love. I know at this time three goddesses in the New Exchange; and there are two shepherdesses that sell gloves in Westminster-hall. No. 140.] Thursday, March 2, 1709-10. wholly to the pastry-cooks, the eyes of the na- | for the advancement of liberal arts, that I lay tion being turned upon greater matters This, before you the following translation of a paratherefore, being a time when none but my im- graph in Cicero's oration in defence of Archias mediate correspondents will read me, I shall the poet, as an incentive to the agreeable and speak to them chiefly at this present writing. instructive reading of the writings of the AuIt is the fate of us who pretend to joke, to be gustan age. Most vices and follies proceed from frequently understood to be only upon the droll a man's incapacity of entertaining himself, and when we are speaking the most seriously, as we are generally fools in company, because we appears by the following letter to Charles Lillie. dare not be wise alone. I hope, on some future occasions, you will find this no barren hint. London, Feb. 28, 1709-10. Tully, after having said very handsome things of his client, commends the arts of which he MR. LILLIE,—It being professed by Esquire the Bickerstaff, that his intention is to expose vices and follies of the age, and to promote vir. tue and good-will amongst mankind; it must be a comfort for a person labouring under great straits and difficulties, to read any thing that has the appearance of succour. I should be glad to know, therefore, whether the intelligence given in his Tatler of Saturday last, of the intended charity of a certain citizen of London, to maintain the education of ten boys in writ. ing and accounts until they be fit for trade, be given only to encourage and recommend persons to the practice of such noble and charitable designs; or, whether there be a person who really intends to do so. If the latter, I humbly beg Esquire Bickerstaff's pardon for making a doubt, and impute it to my ignorance; and most humbly crave, that he would be pleased to give notice in his Tatler, when he thinks fit, whether his nomination of ten boys be disposed, or whether there be room for two boys to be recommended to him; and that he will permit the writer of this to present him with two boys, who, it is humbly presumed, will be judged to be very remarkable objects of such charity. 'Sir, your most humble servant.' I am to tell this gentleman in sober sadness, and without jest, that there really is so good and charitable a man as the benefactor inquired for in his letter, and that there are but two boys yet named. The father of one of them was killed at Blenheim, the father of the other at Almanza. I do not here give the names of the children, because I should take it to be an insolence in me to publish them, in a charity which I have only the direction of as a servant to that worthy and generous spirit, who bestows upon them this bounty without laying the bondage of an obligation. What I have to do is to tell them, they are beholden only to their Maker, to kill in them, as they grow up, the false shame of poverty; and let them know, that their present fortune, which is come upon them by the loss of their poor fathers on so glorious occasions, is much more honorable than the inheritance of the most ample ill-gotten wealth. The next letter which lies before me is from a man of sense, who strengthens his own authority with that of Tully, in persuading me to what he very justly believes one cannot be averse. London, Feb. 27, 1709. 'MR. BICKERSTAFF, I am so confident of your inclination to promote any thing that is *An allusion to The Trial of Dr. Sacheverell,' which Was between Feb. 27, and March 23, 1709-10. was master, as follows: 'If so much profit be not reaped in the study of letters, and if pleasure only be found; yet, in my opinion, this relaxation of the mind should be esteemed most humane and ingenuous. Other things are not for all ages, places, and seasons. These studies form youth, delight old age, adorn prosperity, and soften, and even remove adversity, entertain at home, are no hindrance abroad; do not leave us at night, and keep us company on the road, and in the country.-I am, your humble servant, STREPHON.' The following epistle seems to want the quickest despatch, because a lady is every moment offended until it is answered; which is best done by letting the offender see in her own letter how tender she is of calling him so. SIR,-This comes from a relation of yours, though unknown to you, who besides the tie of consanguinity, has some value for you on the account of your lucubrations, those being designed to refine our conversation, as well as cultivate our minds. I humbly beg the favour of you, in one of your Tatlers, after what manner you please, to correct a particular friend of mine, for an indecorum he is guilty of in discourse, of calling his acquaintance, when he speaks to them, Madam: as for example, my cousin Jenny Distaff, Madam Distaff; which, I am sure you are sensible, is very unpolite, and it is what makes me often uneasy for him, though I cannot tell him of it myself, which makes me guilty of this presumption, that I depend upon your goodness to excuse; and I do assure you, the gentleman will mind your reprehension, for he is, as I am, Sir, your most humble servant and cousin, 'DOROTHY DRUMSTICK. 'I write this in a thin under-petticoat, and never did or will wear a fardignal. I had no sooner read the just complaint of Mrs. Drumstick, but I received an urgent one from another of the fair sex, upon faults of more pernicious consequence. 'MR. BICKERSTAFF,-Observing that you are entered into a correspondence with Pasquin, who is, I suppose, a Roman catholic, I beg of you to forbear giving him any account of our religion or manners, until you have rooted out certain misdemeanours even in our churches. Among others, that of bowing, saluting, taking |