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walk alone like one that had the Peftilence, to figh like a School-boy that had loft his A, B, C, to weep like a young Wench that that had loft her Grandam, to faft like one that takes Diet, to watch like one that fears robbing, to speak puling like a Beggar at Hollowmafs: You were wont, when you laugh'd, to crow like a Cock; when you walk'd, to walk like one of the Lions; when you fafted, it was prefently after Dinner; when you look'd fadly, it was for want of Mony: And now you are metamorphos'd with a Miftrefs, that when I look on you, I can hardly think you my Mafter.
Val. Are all thefe things perceiv'd in me?
Speed. Without you? nay, that's certain; for without you were fo fimple, none elfe would: But you are fo without thefe Follies, that thefe Follies are within you, and fine through you like the Water in an Urinal; that not an Eye that fees you, but is a Phyfician to comment on your Malady.
Val. But tell me, deft thou know my Lady Silvia?
Val. Doft thou know her by gazing on her, and yet know'ft her not?
Speed. Is the not hard-favour'd, Sir?
Val. Not fo fair, Boy, as well favour'd.
Speed. Sir, I know that well enough,
Val. What doft thou know?
Speed. That he is not fo fair, as of you well favour'd.
But her Favour infinite.
Speed. That's becaufe the one is painted, and the other out of all Count.
Val How painted? and how out of Count?
Speed. Marry Sir, fo painted to make her fair, that no Man counts of her Beauty.
Val. How efteem'ft thou me? I account of her Beauty.
Speed. Ever fince you lov'd her.
Speed. If you love her, you cannot fee her.
Speed. Becaufe Love is blind. O that you had mine Eyes, or your own Eyes had the Lights they were wont to have, when you chid at Sir Protheus for going ungarter'd,
Val. What fhould I fee then?
Speed. Your own present Folly, and her paffing Deformity: For he being in Love, could not fee to garter his Hofe; and you, being in Love, cannot fee to put on your Hofe.
Val. Belike, Boy, then you are in Love; for laft Morning you could not fee to wipe my Shoes.
Speed. True, Sir, I was in Love with my Bed; I thank you, you fwing'd me for my Love, which makes me the bolder to chide you for yours.
Val. In Conclufion, I ftand affected to her.
Spoed. I would you were fet, so your Affection would
Val. Laft Night she enjoin'd me
To write fome Lines to one fhe loves.
Speed. And have you?
Val. I have.
Speed. Are they not lamely writ?
Val. No, Boy, but as well as I can do them: Peace, here fhe comes.
Speed. Oh excellent Motion! Oh exceeding Puppet! Now will he interpret to her.
Val. Madam and Mistress, a thousand Good morrows.
Sil. I thank you, gentle Servant, 'tis very Clerkly done,
For being ignorant to whom it goes,
Sil. Perchance you think too much of fo much Pains?
Sil. A pretty Period; well, I guess the Sequel;
Sil. Yes, yes; the Lines are very quaintly writ;
Val. Madam, they are for you.
Sil. Ay, Ay? you writ them, Sir, at my Requeft;
Val. Pleafe you, I'll write your Ladyfhip another. Sil. And when it's writ, for my fake read it over; And if it please you, fo; if not, why fo.
Val. If it please me, Madam, what then?
Sil. Why, if it please you, take it for your Labour; And fo good-morrow, Servant.
Speed. Oh Jeft unfeen, infcrutible, invisible,
Oh excellent Device! was there ever heard a better?
To himfelf fhould write the Letter?
Val. How now, Sir?
What are you reasoning with your felf?
Speed. Nay, I was riming; 'tis you that have the Reafon. Val. To do what?
Speed. To be a Spokes-man from Madam Silvia.
Val. To whom?
Speed. To your felf; why, the woos you by a Figure. Fal. What Figure?
Speed. By a Letter, I fhould fay.
When the hath made you write to your felf?
Speed. No believing you indeed, Sir: But did you perceive her Earneft ?
Val. She gave me none, except an angry Word.
Val. That's the Letter I writ to her Friend.
Speed. And that Letter hath the deliver'd, and there's an end.
Speed. I'll warrant you 'tis as well:
For often have you writ to her, and fhe in Modefty,
Val. I have din'd,
Speed. Ay, but hearken, Sir; though the Cameleon Love can feed on the Air, I am one that am nourifh'd by my Vi&uals; and would fain have Meat: Oh be not like your Miftrefs; be moved, be moved.
Enter Protheus and Julia.
Pro. Have Patience, gentle Julia.
Jul. I muft, where is no Remedy.
Pro. When poffibly I can, I will return.
Keep this Remembrance for thy Julia's fake. [Giving a Ring
Here, take you this.
Jul. And feal this Bargain with a holy Kifs.
The next enfuing Hour fome foul Mifchance
Pan. Sir Prothens, you are ftaid for.
Pro. Go; I come, I come;
Alas! this Parting ftrikes poor Lovers dumb.
Laun. Nay, 'twill be this Hour e'er I have done weeping; all the Kind of the Launces have this very Fault: I have receiv'd my Proportion, like the prodigious Son, and am going with Sir Protheus to the Imperial's Court. I think Crab, my Dog, be the fowreft natur'd Dog that lives: My Mother weeping, my Father wailing, my Sifter crying, our Maid howling, our Cat wringing her Hands, and all our House in great Perplexity; yet did not this cruel-hearted Cur fhed one Tear: He is a Stone, a very Pibble-ftone, and has no more Pity in him than a Dog: A few would have wept to have feen our Parting; why, my Grandam, having no Eyes, look you, wept her felf blind at my Parting. Nay, I'll show you the manner of it: This Shoe is my Father; no, this left Shoe is my Father; no, no, this left Shoe is my Mother; nay, that cannot be fo neither; yes, it is fo, it is fo; it hath the worfer Sole; this Shoe with the Hole in it is my Mother, and this my Father; a Vengeance on't, there 'tis: Now, Sir, this Staff is my Sifter; for look you, fhe is as white as a Lilly, and as fmall aş a Wand; this Hat is Nan, our Maid; I am the Dog; no, the Dog is himself, and I am the Dog: Oh, the Dog is me, and I am my felf; ay, fo, fo; Now come I to my Fa ther; Father, your Bleffing: now fhould not the Shoe fpeak a Word for weeping; now fhould I kifs my Father; well, he weeps on; Now come I to my Mother; oh that The sould fpeak now like a Would-woman; well, I kifs her;