Eva. Ay. Will. Genitive,-horum, harum, horum. Quick. 'Vengeance of Jenny's case! fie on her! -never name her child, if she be a whore. Eva. For shame, 'oman. Quick. You do ill to teach the child such words: he teaches him to hick and to hack, which they 'll do fast enough of themselves, and to call horum:-fie upon you! Eva. 'Oman, art thou lunatics? hast thou no understandings for thy cases, and the numbers of the genders? Thou art as foolish christian creatures as I would desires. Eva. No; master Slender is let the boys leave to mistress Page. play. Mrs. Page. Adieu, good sir Hugh. [Erit Sir HUGH.] Get you home, boy.-Come, we stay too long. [Exeunt. SCENE II.-A Room in Ford's House. Enter FALSTAFF and Mrs. FORD. Fal. Mistress Ford, your sorrow hath eaten up my sufferance: I see, you are obsequious in your love, and I profess requital to a hair's breadth; not only, mistress Ford, in the simple office of love, but in all the accoutrement, complement, and ceremony of it. But are you sure of your husband now? Mrs. Ford. He's a birding, sweet Sir John. Mrs. Page. [Within.] What hoa, gossip Ford! what hoa! Mrs. Ford. Step into the chamber, sir John. [Exit FALSTAFF. Enter Mrs. PAGE. Mrs. Page. How now, sweetheart? who's at home beside yourself? Mrs. Ford. Why, none but mine own people. Mrs. Ford. No, certainly ;-speak louder. [Aside. Mrs. Page. Truly, I am so glad you have nobody here. Mrs. Ford. Why? Mrs. Page. Why, woman, your husband is in his old lunes again: he so takes on yonder with my husband; so rails against all married mankind; so curses all Eve's daughters, of what complexion soever; and so buffets himself on the forehead, cry Eva. Nominativo, hig, hag, hog; - - pray you, mark: genitivo, hujus: Well, what is your accusa-ing Peer-out, peer-out! that any madness, I ever yet tive case? Will. Accusativo, hinc. Eva. I pray you, have your remembrance, child; Accusativo, hing, hang, hog. Quick. Hang hog is Latin for bacon, I warrant you. Eva. Leave your prabbles, 'oman. What is the focative case, William? Will. O-vocativo, O. Eva. Remember, William, focative is caret. Quick. And that's a good root. Eva. 'Oman, forbear. Mrs. Page. Peace. beheld, seemed but tameness, civility, and patience, to this his distemper he is in now: I am glad the fat knight is not here. Mrs. Ford. Why, does he talk of him? Mrs. Page. Of none but him; and swears, he was carried out, the last time he searched for him, in a basket: protests to my husband, he is now here; and hath drawn him and the rest of their company from their sport, to make another experiment of his suspicion; but I am glad the knight is not here; now he shall see his own foolery. Mrs. Ford. How near is he, mistress Page? Eva. What is your genitive case, plural, William; here anon. Mrs. Ford. I am undone !—the knight is here. Mrs. Page Why then you are utterly ashamed, and he's but a dead man. What a woman are you? -Away with him, away with him; better shame thas murder. Mrs. Ford. Which way should he go? how should I bestow him? Shall I put him into the basket again? Re-enter FALSTAFF. Fal. No, I'll come no more i' the basket: May I not go out ere he come ? Mrs. Page. Alas, three of master Ford's brothers watch the door with pistols, that none shall issue out; otherwise you might slip away ere he came. But what make you here? Fel. What shall I do?-I'll creep up into the chimney. Mrs. Ford. There they always used to discharge their birding pieces: Creep into the kiln-hole. Fal. Where is it? Mrs. Ford. He will seek there, on my word. Neither press, coffer, chest, trunk, well, vault, but he hath an abstract for the remembrance of such places, and goes to them by his note: There is no hiding you in the house. Fal. I'll go out then. Mrs. Page. If you go out in your own semblance, you die, sir John. Unless you go out disguised,— Mrs. Ford. How might we disguise him? Mrs. Page. Alas the day, I know not. There is no woman's gown big enough for him; otherwise, he might put on a hat, a muffler, and a kerchief, and so escape. shoulders; your master is hard at door; if he 1 Serv. Come, come, take it up. 2 Serv. Pray heaven, it be not full of the knight again. 1 Serv. I hope not; I had as lief bear so much lead. Enter FORD, PAGE, SHALLOW, CAIUS, and Ford. Ay, but if it prove true, master Page, have Shal. Indeed, master Ford, this is not well; indeed. Enter Mrs. FORD. Ford. So say I too, sir.-Come hither, mistress Ford; mistress Ford, the honest woman, the modest wife, the virtuous creature, that hath the jealous fool to her husband!-I suspect without cause, mistress, do I? Mrs. Ford. Heaven be my witness, you do, if you Fal. Good hearts, devise something: any extre-suspect me in any dishonesty. mity, rather than a mischief. Mrs. Ford. My maid's aunt, the fat woman of Brentford, has a gown above. Mrs. Page. On my word, it will serve him; she's as big as he is: and there's her thrum'd hat, and her muffer too: Run up, sir John. Mr. Ford. Go, go, sweet sir John: mistress Page, and I, will look some linen for your head. Mr. Page. Quick, quick; we'll come dress you straight: put on the gown the while. [Exit FALSTAFF. Mrs. Ford. I would, my husband would meet him in this shape: he cannot abide the old woman of Brentford; he swears, she's a witch; forbade her my house, and hath threatened to beat her. Mr. Page. Heaven guide him to thy husband's cudgel; and the devil guide his cudgel afterwards! Mrs. Ferd. But is my husband coming? Mrs. Page. Ay, in good sadness, is he; and he talks of the basket too, howsoever he hath had in teligence. Mrs. Ford. We'll try that; for I'll appoint my men to carry the basket again, to meet him at the door with it, as they did last time. Mrs. Page. Nay, but he'll be here presently: let's go dress him like the witch of Brentford. Mrs. Ford. I'll first direct my men, what they We'll leave a proof, by that which we will do, Re-enter Mrs. FORD, with two Servants. Ford. Well said, brazen-face; hold it out.-Come forth, sirrah. [Pulls the clothes out of the basket. Ford. I shall find you anon. Will you take up your there was one wife's clothes? Come away. Mrs. Ford. If you find a man there, he shall die a flea's death. Page. Here's no man. Shal. By my fidelity, this is not well, master Ford; this wrongs you. Eva. Master Ford, you must pray, and not follow the imaginations of your own heart: this is jea lousies. Ford. Well, he's not here, I seek for. Page. No, nor no where else, but in your brain. Ford. Help to search my house this one time: if I find not what I seek, shew no colour for my extremity, let me for ever be your table-sport; let them say of me, As jealous as Ford, that searched a hollow walnut for his wife's leman. Satisfy me once more; once more search with me. Mrs. Ford. What hoa, mistress Page! come you, and the old woman, down; my husband will come into the chamber. Ford. Old woman! What old woman's that? SCENE IV.-A Room in Ford's House. Sir HUGH EVANS. Have I not forbid her my house? She comes of errands, does she? We are simple men; we do not know what's brought to pass under the profession of Enter PAGE, FORD, Mrs. PAGE, Mrs. FORD, and fortune-telling. She works by charms, by spells, by the figure, and such daubery as this is; beyond our element: we know nothing.- -Come down, you witch, you hag you; come down, I say. Mrs. Ford. Nay, good, sweet husband;-good gentlemen, let him not strike the old woman. Enter FALSTAFF in women's clothes, led by Mrs. PAGE. Mrs. Page. Come, mother Prat, come, give me your hand. Ford. I'll prat her:- -Out of my door, you witch, [beats him.] you rag, you baggage, you polecat, you ronyon! out! out! I'll conjure you, I'll fortune-tell you. [Exit FALSTAFF. Mrs. Page. Are you not ashamed? I think, you poor woman. have killed the Mrs. Ford. Nay, he will do it :-'Tis a goodly credit for you. Ford. Hang her, witch! Eva. By yea and no, I think, the 'oman is a witch indeed I like not when a 'oman has a great peard; I spy a great peard under her muffler. : Ford. Will you follow, gentlemen? I beseech you, follow; see but the issue of my jealousy; if I cry out thus upon no trail, never trust me when I open again. Page. Let's obey his humour a little further: Come, gentlemen. Exeunt PAGE, FORD, SHALLOW, and EVANS Mrs. Page. Trust me, he beat him most pitifully. Mrs. Ford. Nay, by the mass, that he did not; he beat him most unpitifully, methought. Mrs. Page. I'll have the cudgel hallowed, and hung o'er the altar; it hath done meritorious service. Mrs. Ford. What think you? May we, with the warrant of womanhood, and the witness of a good conscience, pursue him with any further revenge? Mrs. Page. The spirit of wantonness is, sure, scared out of him; if the devil have him not in fee-simple, with fine and recovery, he will never, I think, in the way of waste, attempt us again. Mrs. Ford. Shall we tell our husbands how we have served him? Mrs. Page. Yes, by all means; if it be but to scrape the figures out of your husband's brains. If they can find in their hearts, the poor unvirtuous fat knight shall be any further afflicted, we two will still be the ministers. Mrs. Ford. I'll warrant, they'll have him publicly shamed; and, methinks, there would be no period to the jest, should he not be publicly shamed. Mrs. Page. Come, to the forge with it then, shape it I would not have things cool. [Exeunt. Eva. 'Tis one of the pest discretions of a 'oman as ever I did look upon. Page. And did he send you both these letters at an instant? Mrs. Page. Within a quarter of an hour. Sometime a keeper here in Windsor forest, Page. Why, yet there want not many, that do fear Mrs. Ford. Marry, this is our device; Nan Page my daughter, and my little son, And till he tell the truth, Let the supposed fairies pinch him sound, Mrs. Page. The children must Be practised well to this, or they'll ne'er do't. Eta. I will teach the children their behaviours; and I will be like a jack-an-apes also, to burn the knight with my taber. Ford. That will be excellent. I'll go buy them vizards. Mrs. Page. My Nan shall be the queen of all the Finely attired in a robe of white. [fairies, Page. That silk will I go buy ;—and in that time Shall master Slender steal my Nan away, [Aside. And marry her at Eton.-Go, send to Falstaff straight. Ford. Nay, I'll to him again, in name of Brook; He'll tell me all his purpose: Sure, he'll come. Mrs. Page. Fear not you that: Go, get us properties, And tricking for our fairies. Eta. Let us about it: It is admirable pleasures, and fery honest knaveries. [Exeunt PAGE, FORD, and EVANS. Mrs. Page. Go, mistress Ford, Send quickly to sir John, to know his mind. [Exit Mrs. FORD. I'll to the doctor; he hath my good will, And none but he, to marry with Nan Page. That Slender, though well landed, is an idiot; And he my husband best of all affects: The doctor is well money'd, and his friends Potent at court; he, none but he, shall have her, Though twenty thousand worthier come to crave her. SCENE V.-A Room in the Garter Inn. [Exit. Fal. I spake with the old woman about it. Sim. And what says she, I pray, sir? Fal. Marry, she says, that the very same man, that beguiled master Slender of his chain, cozened him of it. Sim. I would, I could have spoken with the woman herself; I had other things to have spoken with her too, from him. Fal. What are they? let us know. Sim. I may not conceal them, sir. Sim. Why, sir, they are nothing but about mistress Anne Page; to know if it were my master's fortune to have her, or no. Fal. 'Tis, 'tis his fortune. Sim. What, sir? Fal. To have her, or no: Go; say, the woman told me so. Sim. May I be so bold to say so, sir? Fal. Ay, sir Tike; who more bold? Sim. I thank your worship: I shall make my master glad with these tidings. [Exit SIMPLE. Host. Thou art clerkly, thou art clerkly, sir John: Was there a wise woman with thee? Fal. Ay, that there was, mine host; one that hath taught me more wit than ever I learned before in my life: and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for my learning. Enter BARDOlph. Bard. Out, alas, sir! cozenage! meer cozenage! Host. Where be my horses? speak well of them, varletto. Bard. Run away with the cozeners: for so soon as I came beyond Eton, they threw me off, from behind one of them, in a slough of mire; and set spurs, and away, like three German devils, three Doctor Faus tuses. Host. They are gone but to meet the duke, villain : do not say, they be fled; Germans are honest men. Enter Sir HUGH EVANS. Eva. Where is mine host? Host. There's his chamber, his house, his castle, his standing-bed, and truckle-bed; 'tis painted about Eva. Have a care of your entertainments: there with the story of the prodigal, fresh and new: Go, is a friend of mine come to town, tells me, there krock and call; he'll speak like an Anthropophagi-hosts of Readings, of Maidenhead, of Colebrook, is three couzin germans, that has cozened all the sian unto thee: Knock, I say. Sem. There's an old woman, a fat woman, gone up into his chamber; I'll be so bold as stay, sir, till she come down; I come to speak with her, indeed. Host. Ha! a fat woman! the knight may be robbed: I'll call.-Bully knight! Bully sir John! speak from thy lungs military: Art thou there? it is thine bost, thine Ephesian, calls. Fal. [abote.] How now, mine host? Hest. Here's a Bohemian-Tartar tarries the coming down of thy fat woman; Let her descend, bully, let her descend; my chambers are honourable? Fye: privacy? fye! Enter FALSTAFF. Fal. There was, mine host, an old fat woman, even now with me; but she's gone. Sin. Pray you, sir, was't not the wise woman of Brentford? Fal. Ay, marry, was it, muscle-shell; What would you with her? Sim. My master, sir, my master Slender, sent to her, seeing her go through the streets, to know, sir, whether one Nym, sir, that beguiled him of a chain, had the chain, or no. of horses and money. I tell you for good-will, look you: you are wise, and full of gibes and vloutingstogs; and 'tis not convenient you should be cozened: Fare you [Exit. well. Enter Dr. CAIUS. Carus. Vere is mine Host de Jarterre? Host. Here, master doctor, in perplexity, and doubtful dilemma. Caius. I cannot tell vat is dat: But it is tell-a me, dat you make grand preparation for a duke de Jarmany: by my trot, dere is no duke, dat de court is know to come: I tell you for good vill: adieu. :: [Exit. Host. Hue and cry, villain, go:-assist me, knight; I am undone fly, run, hue and cry, villain! I am undone ! [Exeunt Hosr and BARDOLPH. Fal. I would, all the world might be cozened; for I have been cozened, and beaten too. If it should come to the ear of the court, how I have been transformed, and how my transformation hath been washed and cudgelled, they would melt me out of my fat, drop by drop, and liquor fishermen's boots with me; I warrant, they would whip me with their fine wits, F till I were as crest-fallen as a dried pear. I never prospered since I foreswore myself at primero. Well, if my wind were but long enough to say my prayers, I would repent.— Enter Mistress QUICKLY. Now! whence come you? Quick. From the two parties, forsooth. Fal. The devil take one party, and his dam the other, and so they shall be both bestowed! I have suffered more for their sakes, more, than the villainous inconstancy of man's disposition is able to bear. Quick. And have they not suffered? Yes, I warrant; speciously one of them; mistress Ford, good heart, is beaten black and blue, that you cannot see a white spot about her. Fal. What tell'st thou me of black and blue? I was beaten nyself into all the colours of the rainbow; and I was like to be apprehended for the witch of Brentford; but that my admirable dexterity of wit, my counterfeiting the action of an old woman, deliver'd me, the knave constable had set me i' the stocks, i' the common stocks, for a witch. Quick. Sir, let me speak with you in your chamber: you shall hear how things go: and, I warrant, to your content. Here is a letter will say somewhat. Good hearts, what ado here is to bring you together! Sure, one of you does not serve heaven well, that you are so crossed. Fal. Come up into my chamber. [Exeunt. SCENE VI.-Another room in the Garter Inn. Enter FENTON and HOST. Host. Master Fenton, talk not to me; my mind is heavy, I will give over all. [pose, |She shall go with him: her mother hath intended, Fent. Both, my good host, to go along with me : Host. Well, husband your device; I'll to the vicar: Fent. So shall I ever more be bound to thee; Besides, I'll make a present recompense. [Exeunt. ACT V. SCENE I.-A Room in the Garter Inn. -I'll Enter FALSTAFF and Mrs. QUICKLY. hold: This is the third time; I hope, good luck lies Fal. Pr'ythee, no more prattling :-go.in odd numbers. Away, go; they say there is divinity in odd numbers, either in nativity, chance, or death.-Away. Quick. I'll provide you a chain: and I'll do what I can to get you a pair of horns. Ful. Away, I say; time wears: hold up your head, and mince. [Exit Mrs. QUICKLY. Enter FORD. Fent. Yet hear me speak: Assist me in my pur-How now, master Brook? Master Brook, the matter And, as I am a gentleman, I'll give thee will be known to-night, or never. A hundred pound in gold, more than your loss. Be you in the Park about midnight, at Herne's oak, and you shall Host. I will hear you, master Fenton; and I will, see wonders. at the least, keep your counsel. Fent. From time to time I have acquainted you Ford. Went you not to her yesterday, sir, as you told me you had appointed? Fal. I went to her, master Brook, as you see, like a poor old man: but I came from her, master Brook, like a poor old woman. That same knave, Ford her husband, hath the finest mad devil of jealousy in him, master Brook, that ever governed frenzy. I will tell you. He beat me grievously, in the shape of a woman; for in the shape of man, master Brook, I fear not Goliath with a weaver's beam; because I know also, life is a shuttle. I am in haste; go along letter.with me; I'll tell you all, master Brook. Since I pluck'd geese, play'd truant, and whipp'd top, I knew not what it was to be beaten, till lately. Follow me: I'll tell you strange things of this knave Ford: on whom to-night I will be revenged, and I will deliver his wife into your hand.-Follow : Strange things in hand, master Brook! follow. [Shewing the Her mother, even strong against that match, [Exeunt. SCENE II.-Windsor Park. Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER. Page. Come, come; we'll couch i' the castleditch, till we see the light of our fairies.-Remember, son Slender, my daughter. Slen. Ay, forsooth; I have spoke with her, and we have a nay-word, how to know one another. I come to her in white, and cry, mum; she cries budget; and by that we know one another. Shal. That's good too: but what needs either your mum, or her budget? the white will decipher her well enough. It hath struck ten o'clock. |