The Confessions of an English Opium Eater

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J.M. Dent & Company, 1913 - 274 psl.
This autobiography, first published in 1821, describes the author's addiction to laudanum (opium and alcohol) and its effect on his life. He talks about his childhood and the underlying psychological factors that led to his opium abuse. He had spent his late teenage years as a runaway living on the streets of London. He describes the early pleasures of opium and then how his experiences devolved into the more extreme side effects such as insomnia, hallucinations and physical symptoms.
 

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ii psl. - WILL BE PLEASED TO SEND FREELY TO ALL APPLICANTS A LIST OF THE PUBLISHED AND PROJECTED VOLUMES...
179 psl. - That my pains had vanished, was now a trifle in my eyes : — this negative effect was swallowed up in the immensity of those positive effects which had opened before me — in the abyss of divine enjoyment thus suddenly revealed. Here was a panacea — a ^UMO-/ nviyStt for all human woes: here was the secret of happiness, about which philosophers had disputed for so many ages...
260 psl. - And when the ground was white with snow, And I could run and slide, My brother John was forced to go, And he lies by her side.
189 psl. - But this is a subject foreign to my present purposes ; it is sufficient to say that a chorus, etc., of elaborate harmony displayed before me, as in a piece of arras-work, the whole of my past life — not as if recalled by an act of memory, but as if present and incarnated in the music ; no longer painful to dwell upon, but the detail of its incidents removed, or blended in some hazy abstraction, and its passions exalted, spiritualised, and sublimed.
260 psl. - Then did the little maid reply, "Seven boys and girls are we; Two of us in the churchyard lie Beneath the churchyard tree.
244 psl. - ... older. Her looks were tranquil, but with unusual solemnity of expression ; and I now gazed upon her with some awe, but suddenly her countenance grew dim, and, turning to the mountains, I perceived vapours rolling between us ; in a moment, all had vanished ; thick darkness came on ; and, in the twinkling of an eye, I was far away from mountains, and by lamp-light in Oxford-street, walking again with Ann— just as we walked seventeen years before, when we were both children.
233 psl. - I seemed every night to descend, not metaphorically, but literally to descend, into chasms and sunless abysses, depths below depths, from which it seemed hopeless that I could ever reascend. Nor did I, by waking, feel that I had reascended.
198 psl. - I hanker too much after a state of happiness, both for myself and others ; I cannot face misery, whether my own or not, with an eye of sufficient firmness, and am little capable of encountering present pain for the sake of any reversionary benefit.
238 psl. - With battlements that on their restless fronts Bore stars, illumination of all gems ! By earthly nature had the effect been wrought Upon the dark materials of the storm Now pacified ; on them, and on the coves And mountain-steeps and summits, whereunto The vapours had receded, taking there Their station under a cerulean sky.
179 psl. - But I took it:— and in an hour, oh heavens! what a revulsion! what an upheaving, from its lowest depths, of the inner spirit! what an apocalypse of the world within me! That my pains had vanished, was now a trifle in my eyes:— this negative effect was swallowed up in the immensity of those positive effects which had opened before me— in the abyss of divine enjoyment thus suddenly revealed.

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