"I could try, sir.” "When could you enter upon the situation?" "Immediately, sir." And he danced along the mosaic marble pavement of the great front hall, to welcome his father. Olive, too, rose, adjusting the folds of her well-worn silk "Very well. In case we suit each other, the wages will be dress, and smoothing back her jet-black braid of glossy hair; "There was altogether too much of the acid element in her constitution; she would have scolded us all out of house and home in less than a week." Clara rose to her feet and looked relieved. "I leave here at three o'clock this afternoon; can you be ready to accompany me?" he said. 'Certainly, sir." it was proper that she should meet Mr. Orville with a welcoming smile, upon his return home. At the same moment the servants brought in lights, and Mr. Orville entered with a slender little personage in black, whose face was concealed by a thick green vail. "This is my new housekeeper, Miss Tresley," he said, "whose sojourn here I hope you will endeavor to render as pleasant as possible." Olive bowed ceremoniously; the stranger drew aside her vail. It was a voice of no welcome tenderness; Clara felt that painfully, as she glanced pleadingly up into her elder sister's haughty, surprised face. "Say you are glad to see me, Olive; only give me a sisterly kiss." Olive touched her cold lips to Clara's cheek, but there was Her hand was on the door-knob, when he called her back, not much tenderness in the embrace. with a smile. "You have not even asked my name, nor given me yours. Nay, do not blush so violently; it only proves that your knowledge of the ways of the world is rather defective. My name is Mr. Orville-my residence is Orville Park, about sixteen miles from London." "Orville Park!" repeated Clara, with sparkling eyes and deepening color; why, my sister Olive lives at Orville Park as a governess! Is it possible you are the Mr. Orville she has so often written to us about?" "Then you are Miss Tresley's sister?'' "My name is Clara Tresley, sir." "Perhaps you will be so kind as to show your sister to her room, Miss Tresley," said Mr. Orville, who was only just extricating himself from the caresses of his children. "To the housekeeper's room, sir?'' "Yes, to the housekeeper's room." It was not until they were safe in the cheerful little apartment, whose firelight and lamplight gleamed cheerily over the crimson carpets and hangings, that Olive spoke. "Clara!" she gasped, indignantly, "how dared you come here to disgrace me, as-as a housekeeper ?" "There is no disgrace in it, sister." "There is disgrace. And I shall not stay here to bear its And Clara hastened home to tell her mother the wondrous sullying impress. How dared you come here ?” adventure that had befallen her. In the drawing-room a merry fire sent up its sheets of flame, and glowed white-hot through the polished bars of the grate. The chandelier was not yet lighted, but a pleasant ruddy brightness flickered through the whole room. Olive Tresley sat before the fire, her work dropped carelessly in her lap, as she studied the bright, fantastic pictures in the coals. Only a governess! Yes, but Olive Tresley aspires one day to be something more. She had read, in innumerable novels, how governesses, by dint of skill and wisdom and careful management, rose to the head of the establishment where they had first come in an almost menial capacity. Why should she, too, not draw one of the prizes in Life's lottery?" "I did not know that it was here until I had engaged to come; but, indeed, Olive, we were suffering for the necessaries of life, and-" "You have no pride-no dignity," interrupted Olive. I should have starved before I would have taken the menial situation of housekeeper." "I could get nothing else to do," pleaded Clara. But Olive was relentless; and when she left her sister that night, poor Clara cried herself to sleep. It was so different a greeting from that to which she had longingly looked forward. Olive was so proud—so bitter ! "Is Mr. Orville in his study this morning?" "Yes, miss; but the new housekeeper is with him, taking her orders." Olive Tresley fancied there was a tone of insolent derision in the footman's voice; she contractd her haughty black brows and passed on, tapping imperatively at the study door. Mr. Orville was standing by the table: Clara sat in the easychair, with the bright curls drooping over her face, and her eyes cast down. Olive walked straight up to the group. "Mr. Orville, I have come to tender you my resignation." "Your resignation, Miss Tresley? I thought the place suited you very well.”’ "I cannot remain in a house where my sister fills the situation of-of housekeeper.'' "Neither need you, Miss Tresley," said Mr. Orville, calmly, yet with a certain amused smile playing about his lips. "I have just discharged your sister; she will not suit me at all as housekeeper." "Sir!" "In fact, Miss Tresley, she has just consented to be my wife. Do not look so astonished; I know it is rather sudden, but we “I hope not, Harry. I dare say she will be a very respect- read some lives as we do an open book, and your sister is one of able person." them. She was about to resign her situation on the ground "I don't like housekeepers; do you, Miss Tresley?" said that you were so mortified about it; but I have persuaded her Minnie Orville. to remain with me permanently." "My dear, they are very useful in their way." "Hush!" said Harry, with uplifted finger; "I hear the carriage wheels now. Papa has come back!--papa has come back!'' 66 Olive-sister-have you no word of congratulation?" faltered poor little Clara, clinging around her sister's neck. "I suppose I ought to congratulate you, Clara," said Olive, completely taken by surprise; "but it all seems like a dream." Yes, it was like a dream; but it was true, nevertheless. Clara's simplicity, her artless truth, had won the prize for which Olive had been silently manoeuvring ever since she first came as governess to Orville Park. Clara's first letter home contained a joyful surprise to her mother. "Oh, mamma!" she wrote, "it is so lovely here, and Charles says you shall be with me always; and the children have already begun to call me 'mamma'; and Olive, poor thing! walks about as if she were in a vision, and expects to wake out of it every minute." destroy men or build them up. It is the crying for spilt milk that occupies the time of most men, and takes out of their life gladness, cheerfulness, the patience of hope, and a good courage. THE VINE AND THE GOAT. As A vine was bending with the weight of ripe grapes, a goat came up and gnawed the bark and browsed upon the tender leaves. The vine remonstrated with the goat for this wanton conduct, but he paid no attention to the complaint. "I will have my revenge," said the vine, "for in a few days you will Mr. Orville engaged another housekeeper-a middle-aged be brought as a sacrifice to the altar, and then the juice of my widow; and Clara Tresley is his cherished wife. CRYING FOR SPILT MILK. THERE is a deal of such sort of sorrow in life. Where the proverb came from we don't know. Presumably it is derived from the experience of herdsmen and dairymen. Or, still more likely, it originates with a people who have a single cow, and depend upon her largely for daily food. The cow, feeding all day long in pastures green and fresh, comes, at night, home to the cottage. The careful maid brings her stool and the big pail. With soothing words she pats the cow, and begins to fill her pail with foaming milk. It is already nearly full. The last stripings, best of all the milking, are nearly finished. A pertinacious fly that has teased the cow gives just then an unlucky bite. Forgetful of prudence, the mother of milk lifts her foot suddenly, and over goes the pail! Now for a scolding! The housewife will visit such heedless milking with sharp rebukes. Betsy begins to cry already. Next come the children. They were waiting for their bowl of milk for supper. Nothing but a slice of bread to-nightno milk! The youngsters cry too. It's a sad time all round. But can it be helped? Will it bring another pailful out of the spent udders? Will it gather up from the ground the precious milk? Next time take care of your pail. There will be flies in the morning, as well as flies at night. The spilt milk will be a lesson for months, to take care! There is no use in crying for it. But a good deal of use in spilling it, if the mishap shall make you careful ever after! When you make a mistake, don't look back at it long. Take the reason of the thing into your mind, and then look forward. Mistakes are lessons of wisdom. Wise men are always the wiser for their errors. Fools and weak-minded people are wearisomely looking back on their errors. They bewail them. They return again and again to them, only to afflict themselves. Their faces are set the wrong way. They are looking at the irremediable past, whereas they should look forward. The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power. See to that. These counsels have reference, of course, to the common frets and ailments of life. There are great griefs that can only be outgrown, not put away by a volition. But great troubles are rare. Men lose a thousandfold more happiness by worrying over needless care and frets than by enduring great griefs. By great sorrows come great hearts. Great trials either grapes shall be sprinkled on your forehead." MORAL-Try not to give cause of complaint to any one. A MORAL, WELL POINTED.-Sophronius, a wise teacher, would not suffer his grown-up sons and daughters to associate with those whose conduct was not pure and upright. "Dear father," said the gentle Eulalia to him one day, when he forbade her, in company with her brother, to visit the volatile Lucinda, "you must think us very childish if you imagine that we would be exposed to danger by it." The father took, in silence, a dead coal from the hearth, and reached it to his daughter. "It will not burn you, my child; take it." She did so, and behold her delicate white hand was soiled and blacked, and her white dress soiled, too. We cannot be too careful in handling coals; even if they do not burn, they blacken. So it is with the vicious." 66 THE VINE AND THE GOAT. HOUSEHOLD RECEIPTS. TO WHITEN YELLOW FLANNEL.-Doctor Artus says that flannel which has become yellow with use may be whitened by putting it for some time in a solution of hard soap, to which strong ammonia has been added. The proportions he gives are one and a half pounds of hard curd soap, fifty pounds of soft water, and two-thirds of a pound of strong ammonia. The same ob for a quarter of an hour in a weak solution of bisulphite of soda, to which a little hydrochloric acid has been added. This latter process, we dare say, will be effectual, and probably the oxalic acid solution mentioned above would answer the purpose as well. TO CLEAN STRAW BONNETS.-Remove all trimming and lining of any kind. Make a saucepan, filled with soda and water, boiling hot; dip the bonnet into it, and let it soak for a minute or two, then lay it upon a board and scour it well with soap and water. When thoroughly done, hang it in the air to dry.ject may be attained in a shorter time by placing the garments As soon as it is dry, place it in a box, every cranny and hole in which must be stopped up; put into the box an earthen jar or saucer containing sulphur, which must be set on fire, close the lid of the box down tightly, and let it remain twenty-four hours to bleach; then remove it. Dissolve one pennyworth of oxalic acid in about two quarts of water, and steep the bonnet in it, then scrub it again thoroughly, and dry it. Make a glue of parchment cuttings to the consistency of a jelly; rub the whole of the inside of the bonnet well with it, then dry it by the fire until well stiffened. It must again be placed in the bleaching-box, with the ignited sulphur, and remain for twentyfour hours. It will then be sufficiently bleached; hang it in the air to remove all smell, and send it to be blocked. PIGEON COMPOTE.-Truss six pigeons as for boiling; grate the crumb of a small loaf; scrape a pound of fat bacon; chop some thyme, parsley, and onion, and some lemon-peel fine; grate some nutmeg, and season it with pepper and salt. Mix it up with two eggs. Put this forcemeat into the craws of the pigeons, lard the breasts, and fry them brown. Place them in a stewpan with some beef stock, and stew them three-quarters of an hour; thicken it with a piece of butter rolled in flour, serve with forcemeat balls round the dish, and strain the gravy over the pigeons. BRUISES.—In slight bruises, and those that are not likely to be followed by inflammation, nothing more is usually required than to bathe the part with spirit, as eau-de-Cologne, brandy, etc., mixed with an equal proportion of vinegar and water. In more severe cases, and where the accident is near an important part, as the eye, or any of the joints, it becomes a desirable object to prevent the approach of inflammation. For this purpose leeches must be employed, repeating them according to circumstances. If considerable fever be present, bleeding from the arm, purgatives, and low diet, may become necessary. In the last stage of a bruise, where there is merely a want of tone ir. the parts, and swelling from the effused blood, etc., friction should be employed, either simply or with any common liniment. Wearing a bandage, pumping cold water on the part, succeeded by a warm friction, a saturated solution of common salt in water, have each been found successful. The roots of briony and Solomon's seal, bruised and applied as a poultice, are highly useful in hastening the disappearance of the discoloration caused by bruises. SUBSTANCES IN THE THROAT.-A fish-bone, or pin, being lodged in the throat, may sometimes readily be got rid of by exciting vomiting by tickling the back part of the throat. Another mode is to make the patient swallow a mouthful of breadcrumbs. Another expedient is to introduce a large goose-quill down the throat, and then twirl it round, for by this means the substance may be disengaged, and so pass down into the stomach. A plentiful draught of water will sometimes be sufficient, when the substance is merely engaged in the folds of the gullet. We would, however, particularly recommend in this case the white of an egg, and, if necessary, a second. TO IMPROVE STARCH.-To each bowl of starch add one teaspoonful of Epsom salts, and dissolve in the usual way by boiling. Articles starched with this will be stiffer, and will be rendered to a certain degree fireproof. MOTH POWDER.-Lupulin (flour of hops), one drachm; Scotch snuff, two ounces; gum camphor, one ounce; black pepper, one ounce; cedar sawdust, four ounces. Mix thoroughly, and strew, or put in papers, among the furs or woolens to be pro tected. LIQUID FOR CLEANING SILVER.-Add gradually eight ounces of prepared chalk to a mixture of two ounces of spirits of turpentine, one ounce of alcohol, half an ounce of spirits of camphor, and two drachms of aqua ammonia. Apply with a soft sponge, and allow it to dry before polishing. REMOVING CLARET STAINS.--Wine stains of any description can be removed effectually from linen by merely holding them for a few minutes in boiling milk. This must be done before the linen is washed, as afterward it is of no use. A GOOD PUDDING WITH EGGS.-Butter a mold well and line it with slices of bread; put between them layers of black currant jam, not too thick; when the mold is full, pour in four eggs beaten with a gill of milk; boil nearly an hour; custard sauce sweetened. TO MAKE SCOTCH SHORT BREAD.-Take four pounds of flour, THIN muslin fabrics and dresses with delicate colors should two pounds of fresh butter, half a pound of moist sugar, a quarnot be washed with soap. The best fluid to wash them in ister of a pound of citron, and a quarter of a pound of blanched almonds, cut small. Mix the fruit and the sugar well with the rice-water, made by boiling one pound of rice in a gallon of water. Reserve a quart of the water for starching; then wash flour, then work it up with the butter till it is smooth and the dress in the remainder. Rinse in clear, or slightly-blued compact. Flour the table, and divide the ingredients into four water; then starch the dress in the remaining quantity of rice- pieces, and roll out each piece into a cake. Strew some orange and citron cut thin, and some large caraway comfits; press them in with the roller; then pinch round the edges. Put the cakes in floured tins, and bake them for twenty minutes. water, and iron quickly. HARVEY'S SAUCE.-To make one gallon, take five pints of the best pickling vinegar; quarter of a pound of good pickled cucumber, cut small; quarter of a pound of white mustard seed, a little bruised; quarter of an ounce of fresh celery-seed, bruised; and one ounce of garlic, peeled, and cut small. Boil all these articles, until the quantity is reduced to four pints, in a stone jar before the fire. In another jar put four pints of water, one ounce of well-bruised ginger; quarter of an ounce of bruised mace; quarter of an ounce of cayenne pepper; one pint of India soy; boil slow in a stone jar, till reduced to four pints; then mix the contents of the two jars together, stirring them well during the operation; boil them together for half an hour, and then let it get cold. Now take the outside peel of three lemons, cut them into stripes, dry them in an earthen dish in an oven until they are quite brown and free from moisture. Add this lemon, hot from the oven to the cold mixture. Cover it quite close; let it stand ten days at least. Use it after straining it through flannel. COLDS, COUGHS.-The primary cause of colds generally arises from checked perspiration which was escaping from the pores, and by producing acidity in the stomach. When, therefore, we come in from a walk, and change a state of exercise for one of rest, it must be our endeavor to prevent this sudden check by keeping up the action of the skin, and when we take off our out-door clothing, immediately brush the hair, and either wash the face and neck, or rub them well with a hand-towel. Should any cold make its appearance by sneezing, etc., take half a teaspoonful of sal volatile in half a wineglassful of water. This, being an alkali, will neutralize the acidity and immediately stop the sneezing. COUGH REMEDY.-Half a pint of brandy, quarter of a pound of strained honey, two drachms of oil tar. Dose, half a teaspoonful three times a day. Set the bottle into a kettle of cold water and let it heat over a hot stove; it is then ready for use. A STRING OF BEADS. A PEDDLER was offering a Yankee clock, finely varnished and colored, with a looking-glass in front, to a certain lady not remarkable for her personal beauty. Why, it is beautiful," said the vender. "Beautiful, indeed! A look at it almost frightens me," said the lady. 66 Then, marm," replied Jonathan, "I guess you'd better take one that ain't got no looking-glass." JERROLD and a company of literary friends were out in the coun try, rambling over commons and down lanes. In the course of their walk they stopped to notice the gambols of an ass's foal. There was a very sentimental poet among the baby ass's admirers, who grew eloquent as Sterne over its shaggy coat. At last the poet vowed that he should like to send the little thing as a present to his mother. "Do," said Jerrold, "and tie a piece of paper round its neck, bearing this motto, 'When this you see, remember me.'" WHILE the clergyman was publishing the banns in the church at Seaford, in the month of November, 1816, he was interrupted by one of the congregation, who called out loudly: "I forbid the wedding." He was requested to walk into the vestry and explain his reasons for so doing. Was he a relation? "No," replied he: "I'm the bridegroom himself; but having learned that Ciss has a tongue that, after marriage, will run faster than the clack of her master's mill, I am resolved to be off; so your reverence may marry her yourself, if you please.'' AN amusing circumstance occurred one evening in a singingschool. A Mr. Paine was the teacher, and a Miss Patience one of the pupils. In the course of the evening the teacher gave out the tune set to the words, "Come, gentle patience, smile on pain." The pupils were so excited by laughter that it was impossible to sing the line. Soon the teacher gave out another, in which were the lines: "Oh, give me tears for others' woes, and patience for my own;" at which the risibilities of the school were so affected that all singing was deferred until another occasion. THE following story is told of a professor of natural science. It was the custom of the doctor to encourage his geology class to collect specimens and bring them into the class for analysis and classification. So, one day a number of specimens were left upon the table, and among them one broken bit, which, although streaked and stained to impose on the doctor, was really nothing but a piece of common brick. In due time the professor came to the specimens. Taking up one, he says at a glance: "This is a piece of baryta from the Chinese mines;" holding up another, "this is a piece of feldspar from the Portland quarries; the next is a piece of quartz from Hadam; and this," coming to the brick, "is a piece of impudence from some member of this class." WHY is a tall man in a hurry like civilization ?-Because he progresses with rapid strides. A SAGACIOUS philosopher has observed that, if the earth really is hollow, we all live upon a mere crust. An editor out West has been elected town constable, and now is able to arrest the attention of his readers. "A PLAY upon words," exclaimed the fireman, as he thrust his hose into a publisher's shop to put out the flames. A BANKRUPT, irritated at a counsel recently pleading against him, exclaimed at last : "Thee hold thy din; I owed thee nothing." A LITTLE girl, sent out to hunt for eggs, came back unsuccessful, complaining that "lots of hens were standing around doing nothing." "WOMEN," remarked a contemplative man, "are as deep as the blue waters of yon bay. "Ay, sir," rejoined a disappointed one," and as full of craft." THE completest pun in the records of literature is produced in the following words, which were inscribed on a tea-chest: "Tu doces," which is the second person singular, present tense, of the Latin verb doceo, I teach; and when literally translated, becomes, "Thou tea-chest." "IF you do not close that window, waiter, I shall die from the draft," said a lady dining at the Crystal Palace, London. "And if you do close it, I shall die from the heat of this hot weather!" exclaimed a stouter fair lady. Then there was a giggle amongst the diners at the dilemma of the waiter, when a literary gentleman present said: 46 My good fellow, your duty is clear: close the window, and kill one lady; then open it, and kill the other lady." A PARTY of young men were telling what they would do if they were shipwrecked far out upon the sea, and left buffeting with the waves, without a plank to sustain them. Each one gave his opinion, excepting Paddy Murphy, who, after being asked for his, replied: "Bad cess to ye, for a cowardly set of spalpeens; ye'd all be afther savin' yourselves, an' not tryin' to save anuther. Why, it's Paddy Murphy that would swim to shore an' save himself, and thin come back and thry to save anuther." "WHAT do you mean by a cat-and-dog-life?" said a husband to his wife. "Look at Carlo and Kitty asleep on the rug. I wish men lived half as gracefully with their wives." Stop," said the lady; "tie them together, and see how they will agree." THE LADY'S Foor.-There is a story of a fashionable shoemaker, who, having made a pair of shoes for a lady who was remarkable for the beautiful shape of her foot, was applied to by another lady to make her a pair exactly similar. The shoemaker looked with dismay at his new customer's foot, which bore no resemblance whatever to that of her friend. At last he looked up at the lady, shrugged his shoulders, shook his head, and said: "Madame, it is impossible! You must bring me a foot like her ladyship's before I can make a shoe like hers!" The rebuke was well deserved; but his honesty lost him a good customer. LOVE AND TIME." But, father, you know love makes the time fly," said an enthusiastic daughter, who was arguing in favor of a longer bridal-trip than usual. "Yes, my dear, I know it does at first," replied the old gentleman, "but you'll find in the end that time will make love fly." BOOK-LENDING.-Sir Walter Scott once lent a book to a friend, and as he gave it to him, begged that he would not fail to return it, adding, good-humoredly, "Although most of my friends are bad arithmeticians, they are all good bookkeepers." 44 This jest of Sir Walter's reminds us of some poet's witty verses. entitled, "The Art of Book-Keeping," from which we give a few stanzas: I, of my Spenser quite bereft, Last Winter sore was shaken; Of Lamb I've but a quarter left, Nor could I save my Bacon. "They pick'd my Locke, to me far more "They still have made me slight returns, For, oh! they've cured me of my Burns, "But all I think I shall not say, Nor let my anger burn; For as they have not found me Gay, WHIST. "What a man he must have been who invented whist," says Arthur Helps. "He was a man of genius, for he invented trumps, and saw that there were occasions when a small two or three in one suit would be superior to a king or queen in another. That is the case in human life, and good illustrations of it may be found every day." SELL FOR GOLDSMITH.-A sailor, calling upon a Liverpool goldsmith, asked him what might be the value of an ingot of gold as big as his arm. The shopkeeper beckoned him into a back room, and primed him with grog. He then asked to see the ingot. "Oh," said Jack, I haven't got it yet, but I'm going to the diggings, and I should like to know the value of such a lump before I start." PROVISION FOR DECLINING YEARS.-While Richard Cobden was in the United States, he visited an Illinois farmer who owned twenty thousand acres, who told the eminent English statesman, while entwo hundred barrels of it for his old age. "WHO is that lovely girl?" exclaimed witty Lord Norbury, in tertaining him with some fine peach brandy, that he had laid away company with his friend, counselor Granarty. "Miss Glass," replied the barrister. "Glass!" reiterated the facetious judge; "by the love of man to woman, I should often be intoxicated could I place such a glass to my lips." "QUART bowls, of all sorts and sizes," are advertised by a country shopkeeper. 44 64 Certainly," as the great advocate of free trade remarked, a most extraordinary provision for his declining years." A GRAVE RETORT.-A Scottish clergyman, happening to go into the churchyard while the beadle was employed, neck deep, in digging a grave, thus accosted him: Well, Saunders, that's a work you're employed in well calcuIF you ever find a stingy Quaker, make up to him: you will find lated to make an old man like you thoughtful. I wonder you don't repent your evil ways." him a close Friend. EVERYBODY knows what "acrostic" means; but amateur poets do not know what a-cross-stick an editor can be when he has to read bushels of such nonsense. Hoop once said that there was a family living near him that had a mile of daughters; the name of the family was Furlong, and there were eight of them. The old worthy, resting on the top of his spade, and taking a pinch of snuff, replied: "I thought, sir, ye kent there was nae repentance in the grave." BIRDIE."Why do you call me birdie, my dear!" inquired a wife of her husband. "Because," was the answer, "you are always associated in my mind with a bill." |