THE following difcourfe, as it is unquestionably of

the fame author,. fo it feems to have been written about the fame time with the former I mean the year 1697, when the famous dispute was on foot, about ancient and modern learning. The controverfy took its rife from an effay of Sir William Temple upon that fubject; which was anfwered by W. Wotton, B. D. with an Appendix by Dr. Bentley, endeavouring to deftroy the credit of fop and Phalaris, for authors, whom Sir William Temple had, in the effay before mentioned, highly commended. In that Appendix, the Doctor falls hard upon a new edition of Phalaris, put out by the Honourable Charles Boyle, now Earl of Orrery; to which Mr. Boyle replied at large with great learning and wit; and the Doctor voluminously rejoined. In this difpute, the town highly refented to fee a perfon of Sir William Temple's character and merits roughly ufed by the two Reverend Gentlemen aforefaid, and without any manner of provocation. At length, there appearing no end of the quarrel, our author tells us, that the BOOKS in St. James's library, looking upon themselves as parties principally concerned, took up the controverfy, and came to a decifive battle; but the manufcript, by the injury of fortune, or weather, being in feveral places imperfect, we cannot learn to which fide the victory fell.

I must warn the reader, to beware of applying to perfons, what is here meant only of books in the moft literal fenfe. So, when Virgil is mentioned, we are not to understand the perfon of a famous poet called by that name; but only certain fheets of paper, bound up in leather, containing in print the works of the faid poet : and fo of the reft.

THE

PREFACE OF THE AUTHOR.

SATIRE is a fort of glafs, wherein beholders do generally difcover every body's face but their own; which is the chief reafon for that kind reception it meets in the world, and that fo very few are offended with it. But if it fhould happen otherwise, the danger is not great; and I have learned from long experience, never to apprehend mifchief from thofe understandings I have been able to provoke. For anger and fury, though they add strength to the finews of the body, yet are found to relax those of the mind, and to render all its efforts feeble and impotent.

There is a brain that will endure but one fcumming; let the owner gather it with difcretion, and manage his little stock with bufbandry. But of all things let him beware of bringing it under the lafh of his betters; because that will make it all bubble up into impertinence, and he will find no new fupply: Wit without knowledge being a fort of cream, which gathers in a night to the top, and by a skilful hand may be foon whipt into froth; but once fcummed away, what appears underneath, will be fit for nothing, but to be thrown to the hogs.

A

FULL AND TRUE ACCOUNT

OF THE

BATTLE,

FOUGHT LAST FRIDAY, &c.

WHOEVER examines with due circumfpection into the annual records of Time, will find it remarked, that War is the child of Pride, and Pride the daughter of Riches*. The former of which affertions may be foon granted; but one cannot fo eafily fubfcribe to the latter. For pride is nearly related to beggary and want, either by father or mother, and fometimes by both: and to speak naturally, it very feldom happens among men to fall out, when all have enough; invafions ufually travelling from north to fouth, that is to fay, from poverty upon plenty. The most ancient and natural grounds of quarrels, are luft and avarice; which, though we may allow to be brethren or collateral branches of pride, are certainly the illues of want. For to speak in the phrase of writers upon the politics, we may observe in the republic of Dogs, (which in its original feems to be an inftitution of the many,) that the whole ftate is ever in the profoundest peace, after a full meal; and that civil broils arife among them, when it happens for one great bone to be feized on by fome leading dog, who either divides it among the few, and then it falls to an oligarchy; or keeps it to himself, and then it runs up to a tyranny. The fame reafoning alfo holds place among them, in thofe diffenfions we behold upon a turgefcency in any of their females. For, the right of poffeffion lying in common, (it being impoffible to eftablifh a property in fo delicate a cafe,) jealoufies and fufpicions do fo abound, that the whole commonwealth of that street is reduced to a manifeft ftate of war, of

[* Riches produceth pride; pride is war's ground, &c. Vid. Epbem. de Mary Clark, opt. edit.] P 2

every

every citizen against every citizen; till fome one of more courage, conduct, or fortune than the reft, feizes and enjoys the prize; upon which naturally arifes plenty of heart-burning, and envy, and fnarling against the happy dog. Again, if we look upon any of these republics engaged in a foreign war, either of invafion or defence, we fhall find the fame reafoning will ferve, as to the grounds and occafions of each; and that poverty, or want, in fome degree or other, (whether real, or in opinion, which makes no alteration in the cafe,) has a great fhare, as well as pride, on the part of the aggreffor.

Now, whoever will please to take this fcheme, and either reduce or adapt it to an intellectual ftate, or commonwealth of learning, will foon discover the first ground of difagreement between the two great parties at this time in arms; and may form just conclufions upon the merits of either caufe. But the iffue or events of this war are not eafy to conjecture at: for the prefent quarrel is fo inflamed by the warm heads of either faction, and the pretenfions fomewhere or other fo exorbitant, as not to admit the leaft overtures of accommodation. This quarrel firft began (as I have heard it affirmed by an old dweller in the neighbourhood) about a small spot of ground, lying and being upon one of the two tops of the hill Parnaffus; the higheft and largest of which had, it feems, been, time out of mind, in quiet poffeffion of certain tenants called the Ancients; and the other was held by the Moderns. But these disliking their present station, fent certain ambassadors to the Ancients, complaining of a great nuisance, how the height of that part of Parnaffus quite fpoiled the profpect of theirs, especially towards the east; and therefore, to avoid a war, offered them the choice of this alternative, Either that the Ancients would please to remove themfelves and their effects down to the lower fummit, which the Moderns would gracioufly furrender to them, and advance in their place; or elfe, that the faid Ancients will give leave to the Moderns, to come with fhovels and mattocks,

tocks, and level the said hill as low as they shall think it convenient. To which the Ancients made anfwer, How little they expected fuch a meflage as this, from a colony whom they had admitted, out of their own free grace, to fo near a neighbourhood: That as to their own feat, they were Aborigines of it; and therefore to talk with them of a removal or furrender, was a language they did not understand: That if the height of the hill on their fide fhortened the profpect of the Moderns, it was a disadvantage they could not help; but defired them to confider, whether that injury, if it be any, were not largely recompenfed by the fhade and shelter it afforded them: That as to the levelling or digging down, it was either folly or ignorance to propose it, if they did, or did not know, how that fide of the hill was an entire rock, which would break their tools and hearts without any damage to itfelf: That they would therefore advife the Moderns, rather to raise their own fide of the hill, than dream of pulling down that of the Ancients; to the former of which they would not only give licence, but also largely contribute. All this was rejected by the Moderns, with much indignation; who ftill infifted upon one of the two expedients. And to this difference broke out into a long and obftinate war; maintained on the one party by refolution, and by the courage of certain leaders and allies; but on the other, by the greatness of their number, upon all defeats affording continual recruits. In this quarrel, whole rivulets of ink have been exhaufted, and the virulence of both parties enormously augmented. Now, it must here be understood, that ink is the great miffile weapon in all battles of the learned, which, conveyed through a fort of engine called a quill, infinite numbers of thefe are darted at the enemy, by the valiant on each fide, with equal fkill and violence, as if it were an engagement of porcupines. This malignant liquor was compounded by the engineer who invented it, of two ingredients, which are gall and copperas; by its bitterness and venom, to fuit in fome degree, as well as to foment

P 3

the