THE MISOGYNIST “Il était un jeune homme d'un bien beau passé.” WHEN first he sought our haunts, he wore His locks in Hamlet-style; His brow with thought was "sicklied o'er,”— We rarely saw him smile; And, e'en when none was looking on, His air was always woe-begone. He kept, I think, his bosom bare His solitary topics were Esthetics, Fate, and Soul;Although at times, but not for long, He bowed his Intellect to song. He served, he said, a Muse of Tears: A fine funereal air of biers, And objects cypress-wreathed ;Indeed, his tried acquaintance fled An ode he named "The Sheeted Dead." In these light moods, I call to mind, To some dread sorrow undefined,— He railed at women's faith as Cant; His lot, he oft would gravely urge, We dreamed it true. We never knew We, bound with him in common care, Resolved to Thought and Diet spare But soon, and yet, though soon, too late. We, sorrowing, sighed to find A gradual softness enervate That all superior mind, Until,-in full assembly met, The verse that we severe had known, A fond effeminate monotone Of eyebrows, lips, and hair; Nay worse. He, once sublime to chaff, Grew ludicrously sore If we but named a photograph We found him simpering o'er; Or told how in his chambers lurked Then worse again. He tried to dress; He trimmed his tragic mane; Announced at length (to our distress) He had not "lived in vain ";Thenceforth his one prevailing mood Became a base beatitude. And O Jean Paul, and Fate, and Soul! His very hat had changed its brim ; Our course was clear,-WE BANISHED HIM! BE A VIRTUOSO E seated, pray. "A grave appeal "? The sufferers by the war, of course; Ah, what a sight for us who feel,— This monstrous mélodrame of Force! We, Sir, we connoisseurs, should know, On whom its heaviest burden falls; Collections shattered at a blow, Museums turned to hospitals! "And worse," you say; "the wide distress!" Alas, 'tis true distress exists, Though, let me add, our worthy Press Have no mean skill as colourists; Speaking of colour, next your seat There hangs a sketch from Vernet's hand; Some Moscow fancy, incomplete, Yet not indifferently planned; Note specially the gray old Guard, But, as regards the present war,— You hesitate. For my part, I— Though ranking Paris next to Rome, That "Charity begins at Home." The girl's a gem ; "But your appeal's for home,"—you say,— For home, and English poor! Indeed! I thought Philanthropy to-day Was blind to mere domestic need However sore-Yet though one grants That home should have the foremost claims, At least these Continental wants Assume intelligible names; While here with us-Ah! who could hope Or from his private means to cope Attempt comparison of creeds; With these half-dozen Indian beads. |