bridegroom that they are voluntary parties to their holy union in marriage. THE WORDS "HONOR AND OBEY" must also be distinctly spoken by the bride. They constitute an essential part of the obligation and contract of matrimony on her part. AFTER THE CEREMONY the clergyman usually shakes hands with the bride and bridegroom, and the bride's father and mother, and a general congratulation ensues. THE RETURN HOME. The bridegroom now leads the bride out of the church, and the happy pair return homeward in the first carriage. The father and mother follow in the next. The rest stand not on the order of their going,” but start off in such wise as they can best contrive THE WEDDING BREAKFAST. The bride and bridegroom sit together at the center of the table, in front of the wedding cake, the clergyman who performed the ceremony taking his place opposite to them. The top and bottom of the table are occupied by the father and mother of the bride. The principal bridesmaid sits to the left of the bride, and the principal bridegroomsman on the left of the bridegroom. It may not be unnecessary to say that it is customary for the ladies to wear their bonnets just as they came from the church. The bridesmaids cut the cake into small pieces, which are not eaten until the health of the bride is proposed. This is usually done by the officiating clergyman, or by an old and cherished friend of the family of the bridegroom. The bridegroom returns thanks for the bride and for himself. The health of the bride's parents is then proposed, and is followed by those of the principal personages present, the toast of the bridesmaids being generally one of the pleasantest features of the festal ceremony. After about two hours, the principal bridesmaid leads the bride out of the room as quietly as possible, so as not to disturb the party or attract attention. Shortly after-it may be in about ten minutes the absence of the bride being noticed, the rest of the ladies retire. Then it is that the bridegroom has a few melancholy moments to bid adieu to his bachelor friends, and he then generally receives some hints on the subject in a short address from one of them, to which he is of course expected to respond. He then withdraws for a few moments, and returns after having made a slight addition to his toilet, in readiness for traveling. DEPARTURE FOR THE HONEYMOON. The young bride, divested of her bridal attire, and quietly costumed for the journey, now bids farewell to her bridesmaids and lady friends. A few tears spring to her gentle eyes as she takes a last look at the home she is now leaving. The servants venture to crowd about her with their humble but heartfelt congratulations; finally, she falls weeping on her mother's bosom. A short cough is heard, as of some one summoning up resolution to hide emotion. It is her father. He dares not trust his voice; but holds out his hand, gives her an f fectionate kiss, and then leads her, half turning back, down the stairs and through the hall, to the door, where he deliver her as a precious charge to her husband, who hands her quickly into the carriage, springs in after her, waves his hand to the party who appear crowding at the window, half smiles at the throng about the door, then, amidst a shower of old slippersmissiles of good-luck sent flying after the happy pair gives the word, and they are off, and started on the long-hoped-for voyage! PRACTICAL ADVICE TO A NEWLY-MARRIED COUPLE Our advice to the husband will be brief. Let him have no concealments from his wife, but remember that their interests are mutual; that, as she must suffer the pains of every loss, as well as share the advantages of every success, in his career in life, she has therefore a right to know the risks she may be made to undergo. We do not say that it is necessary, or advisable, or even fair, to harass a wife's mind with the details of business; but where a change of circumstances--not for the better-is anticipated or risked, let her by all means be made acquainted with the fact in good time. Many a kind husband almost breaks his young wife's fond heart by an alteration in his manner, which she cannot but detect, but from ignorance of the cause very probably attributes to a wrong motive; while he, poor fellow, all the while out of pure tenderness, is endeavoring to conceal from her tidings-which must come out at last-of ruined hopes or failure in speculation; whereas, had she but known the danger beforehand, she would have alleviated his fears on her account, and by cheerful resignation have taken out half the sting of his disappointment. Let no man think lightly of the opinion of his wife in times of difficulty. Women have generally more acuteness of perception than men and in moments of peril, or in circumstances that involve a crisis or turning-point in life, they have usually more resolution and greater instinctive judgment. We recominend that every husband from the first should make his wife an allowance for ordinary household expenseswhich he should pay weekly or monthly-and for the expendi ture of which he should not, unless for some urgent reason, call her to account. A tolerably sure guide in estimating the amount of this item, which does not include rent, taxes, servants' wages, coals, or candles, etc., is to remember that in a small middle-class family, not exceeding four, the expense of each person for ordinary food amounts to fifteen shillings weekly beyond that number to ten shillings weekly for each extra person, servant or otherwise. This estimate does not, of course, provide for wine or food of a luxurious kind. The largest establishment, indeed, may be safely calculated on the same scale. A wife should also receive a stated allowance for dress, within which limit she ought always to restrict her expenses. Any excess of expenditure under this head should be left to the considerate kindness of her husband to concede. Nothing is more contemptible than. for a woman to have perpetually to ask her husband for small sums for housekeeping expenses nothing more annoying and humiliating than to have to apply to him always for money for her own private use-nothing more disgusting than to see a man "molly-coddling" about marketing, and rummaging about for cheap articles of all kinds. Let the husband beware, when things go wrong with him in business affairs, of venting is bitter feelings of disappoint. ment and despair in the presence of his wife and family; feelings which, while abroad, he finds it practicable to restrain. It is as unjust as it is impolitic to indulge in such a habit. A wife having married the man she loves above all others, must be expected in her turn to pay some court to him. Before marriage she has, doubtless, been made his idol. Every moment he could spare, and perhaps many more than he could properly so appropriate, have been devoted to her. How anx. iously has he not revolved in his mind his worldly chances of making her happy! How often has he not had to reflect, before he made the proposal of marriage, whether he should be acting dishonorably towards her by incurring the risk, for the selfish motive of his own gratification, of placing her in a worse position than the one she occupied at home! And still more than this, he must have had to consider with anxiety the probability of having to provide for an increasing family, with all its concomitant expenses. We say, then that being married, and the honeymoon over, the husband must necessarily return to his usual occupations, which will, in all probability, engage the greater part of his thoughts, for he will now be desirous to have it in his power to procure various little indulgences for his wife's sake which he never would have dreamed of for his own. He comes to his home weary and fatigued; his young wite has had but her pleasures to gratify, or the quiet routine of her domestic duties to attend to, while he has been toiling through the day to enable her to gratify these pleasures and to fulfill these duties. Let, then, the dear, tired husband, at the cose of his daily labors, be made welcome by the endearments of his loving spouse-let him be free from the care of having to satisfy the caprices of a petted wife. Let her now take her turn in pay ing those many little love-begotten attentions which married men look for to soothe them-let her reciprocate that devo tion to herself, which, from the early hours of their love, ne cherished for her, by her ever-ready endeavors to make hin. happy and his home attractive. In the presence of other persons, however, married people should refrain from fulsome expressions of endearment to each other, the use of which, although a common practice, is really a mark of bad taste. It is desirable also to caution them against adopting the too prevalent vulgarism of calling each ●ther, or indeed any person whatever, merely by the initial letter of their surname. A married woman should always be very careful how she receives personal compliments. She should never court them, nor ever feel flattered by them, whether in her husband's presence or not. If in his presence, they can hardly fail to be distasteful to him; if in his absence, a lady, by a dignified demeanor, may always convince an assiduous admirer that his attentions are not well received, and at once and for ever stop all familiar advances. In case of insult, a wife should imme diately make her husband acquainted therewith; as the only chance of safety to a villain lies in the concealment of such things by a lady from dread of consequences to her husband. From that moment he has her at advantage, and may very likely work on deliberately to the undermining of her character. He is thus enabled to play upon her fears, and taunt her with their mutual secret and its concealment, until she may be involved, guilelessly, in a web of apparent guilt, from which she can never extricate herself without risking the happiness of her future life. Not the least useful piece of advice-homely though it bethat we can offer to newly-married ladies, is to remind them that husbands are men, and that men must eat. We can tell them, moreover, that men attach no small importance to this very essential operation, and that a very effectual way to keep them in good humor, as well as good condition, is for wives to study their husbands' peculiar likes and dislikes in this matter Let the wife try, therefore, if she have not already done so, to get up a little knowledge of the art of ordering dinner, to say the least of it. This task if she be disposed to learn it, will in time be easy enough; moreover, if in addition she should acquire some practical knowledge of cookery, she will find ample reward in the gratification it will be the means of affording her husband. Servants are difficult subjects for a young wife to handle; she generally either spoils them by indulgence, or ruins them by finding fault unfairly. At last they either get the better of her, or she is voted too bad for them. The art lies in steady command and management of yourself as well as them. An observance of the few following rules will in all probability insure a life of domestic harmony, peace, and comfort :To hear as little as possible whatever is to the prejudice of others, to believe nothing of the kind until you are compelled to admit the truth of it; never to take part in the circulation of evil report and idle gossip; always to moderate, as far as possible, harsh and unkind expressions reflecting upon others; ways to believe that if the other side were heard, a very ifferent account might be given of the matter. In conclusion, we say emphatically to the newly-wedded wife, that attention to these practical hints will prolong her noneymoon throughout the whole period of wedded life, and cause her ʼn sband, as each year adds to the sum of his happiness, to bess the day when he first chose her as the nucleus round which he might consolidate the inestimable blessings of HOME "How fair is home, in fancy's pictured theme, Thence springs cach hope there every spring returns, And when calm evening sheds a secret power, -HOLLAND'S Hopes of Matrimon YURING times of health and happiness, it is per haps rather trying to be asked to turn our thoughts into doleful channels; but sooner or later in our lives the sad time comes, for "Who breathes must suffer, and who thinks must mourn," and we have perforce to turn our minds to the inevitable and share "the common lot of man." In times of mourning it seems doubly hard to arouse ourselves, and allow the question of what to wear? to intrude itself It is, however necessary. Custom decrees, if even inclination does not prompt us to show in some outward degree our respect for the dead by wearing the usual black. We do not advise people to ust .nto black for every slight bereavement, nor, on the other hand to show the utter disre gard some do on the death of their relations, and only acknow!. edge the departure of those near and dear to them, by a band of crape round the arm This is the mark of mourning adopted by those in the services who have to wear uniform, but hardly a fitting way of outwardly showing respect to the memory of those who have been called away from us, and whose loss we deplore. A short time since, a lady appeared in a new ruby satin dress, with a band of crape around her arm. The fact of the dress being new, showed that poverty did not cause this incongruity. It is hardly ever those who are styled **the poor," who err so against the accepted ideas of decency and respect. They always, however straitened they may be in circumstances, contrive to wear mourning for their deceased relatives. When black is fashionable, no difficulty is found in wearing it, and you meet all your friends attired, but when it becomes a question of duty, these objections are raised as to the unneces sary expense, and the inconvenience of so dressing. The majority adhere in this respect to the customs their parents have followed; but the advanced few are those who air such sentiments, talk of the "mourning of the heart, not mere outward woe," and not wearing what is really mourning, go into society on the plea, "Oh! we know that those who are gone would not wish us to grieve for them." This may be all very well, but in the case of husbands, wives, parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, and the nearer-related cousins, decency requires some outward mark of respect to their memory. It will be as well to consider in succession the different de grees of mourning, and their duration. The widow's is the deepest mourning of all. That oldfashioned material, bombazine, is now no longer heard of. Paramatta is in the most general use for widows. Barathea is also worn, but the first-named is the most frequently used for the first dresses but, whatever the material, it is hidden by crape The skirt, which is generally cut quite plain, and slightly trained, is completely covered with crape, put on quite plainly in one piece; the body and sleeves are also hidden with crape the dress, in fact, presenting the appearance of one of crape. The body can be cut either en princesse, or have a deep jacket bodice, but whichever is preferred, crape should cover it completely. The best and most economical crape for all wear is the rainproof crape, an improvement and development of the Albert crape, which is now brought to the greatest perfection of manufacture; it costs about half what ordinary crape does, to begin with, and is very much more durable; its impervious. ness to weather being, of course, its great feature. The best make of this is quite suitable for widows' mourning. Its ap pearance equals that of much more expensive ordinary crape. We see no reason ourselves why, especially if economy be an object, the rainproof crape should not be worn for all degrees of mourning. We have no hesitation in advising it. For a second dress it would be a good plan to have some half-worn black dress entirely covered with crape-the rainproof crape this would save the better dress a little; and as widows' first mourning is worn for a year and a day, it would be advisable to start with at least two dresses; the crape on them could be renewed when necessary. Widows' mantles are either made of silk or Paramatta, trimmed deeply with crape, or sometimes of Cyprus crape cloth, or cloth crape trimmed. The Cyprus crape cloth is a sort of crêpe material, and wears well, neither dust nor wet affecting it. In shape, the widow's mantle is a dolman, or long cape of good size, this for elderly widows. For those younger, jackets or paletôts, crape-trimmed of course, are worn for winter wear, and for summer mantles made entirely of crape. The bonnet for first mourning is all of crape, with widow's cap tacked inside it, the small, close-fitting shape, with long crape veil hanging at the back; besides this veil, a shorter one is worn over the face. Hats cannot be worn by widows, however young they might be, during the period of their deepest mourning. The following list would be ample for a widow's outfit. We have given rather a large one because, of course, it can be curtailed as wished. One best dress of Paramatta covered entirely with crape. One dress, either a costume of Cyprus crape, or an old black dress covered with rainproof crape. One Paramatta mantle lined with silk and deeply trimmed with crape. One warmer jacket of cloth lined, trimmed with crape. One bonnet of best silk crape, with long veil. One bonnet of rainproof crape, with crape veil. Twelve collars and cuffs of muslin or lawn, with deep hems. Several sets must be provided, say six of each kind. One black stuff petticoat. Four pairs of black hose, either silk, cashmere, or spun silk. Twelve handkerchiefs with black borders for ordinary use, cambric. Twelve of finer cambric for better occasions. Caps, either of lisse, tulle, or tarlatan, shape depending very much on the age. Young widows wear chiefly the Marie Stuart shape, but all widows' caps have long streamers. They vary, of course, in price. Tarlatan are the easiest made at home, but we do not fancy home-made widows' caps are an economy, they soil so much more quickly than bought caps. It is a good plan to buy extra streamers and bows for them; these can be made at home for the morning caps, very fine thread and needles being used for the work, which should be very fine, neat, and even. If in summer a parasol should be required, it should be of silk deeply trimmed with crape, almost covered with it, but no lace or fringe for the first year. Afterward mourning fringe might be put on. A muff, if required, would be made of Paramatta, and trimmed with crape. The first mourning is worn for twelve months. Second mourning twelve months also the cap in second mourning is left off, and the crape no longer covers the dresses, but is put on in tucks. Elderly widows frequently remain in mourning for long periods, if not for the remainder of their lives, retaining the widow's cap, collar and cuffs, but leaving off the deep crape the second year, and afterwards entirely discarding crape, but wearing mourning materials such as Victoria cords, Janus cords, cashmere, and so on. No ornaments are worn in such deep mourning, except jet, for the first year. Jet is, of course, allowable. Rich silk is, of course, admissible in widows' mourning, especially for evening wear, but it must always be deeply trimmed with crape for the first year, and the quantity afterwards gradually lessened. A silk costume is a very expensive item in a widow's mourning, therefore we only allude to it-do not set it down as a necessity. The best silks for the purpose are rich, heavy silks, such as grosgrain, drap du nord, satin merveilleux. Furs are not admissible in widows' first mourning, though very dark sealskin and astrachan can be worn when the dress is changed. In other mournings, furs are now very generally worn--that is, after the first few months, but only dark furs Widows' lingerie, to be always nice, entails a considerable amount of expense. If collars, cuffs and caps are made at home, as we before said, they get soiled directly. As, however, it is not always possible to buy them when they require renewing, the following directions may prove of use: “ Widow's cuffs, made in tarlatan, should be about nine inches long, according to the size of the wrist. They are not intended to overlap, but just to meet, fastened with two buttons and loops, placed near the upper and lower edges. The ordinary depth is five inches, with a wide hem at the top and bottom of an inch and a half depth. The material being merely a straight piece, they are easy to make. For the collar, the straight allround shape, turning down over the collar of the dress, is the most usual. If any other shape is required, cut it în paper, and make it accordingly with the wide hem of one and a half inch. If the collar is straight, it will be merely necessary to turn it down; if rounded at all, it must be cut to the shape, run to the collar at the edge, and then turned down. cotton and needles and neat work are required.” Fine If an attempt is made to make widows' caps at home, first procure a good cap for a model, and copy it as exactly as possible. It must be made on a "dolly" or wooden block of a head, or it will never sit well. To preserve widows' caps clean, fresh-looking, and of a good color, when not in use they should be put on cap-holders on a shelf in a cupboard, the long streamers turned up over the cap, and a piece of blue paper (thin) laid over them. So treated, they will with care last a long while, that, is, if there are two or three worn in turn, and they are put away in this manner when not in actual use. It may be as well to sum up what we have said. Duration of mourning: Widow's first mourning lasts for a year and a day. Second mourning cap left off, less crape and silk for nine months (some curtail it to six), remaining three months of second year plain black without crape, and jet ornaments. At the end of the second year the mourning can be put of entirely; but it is better taste to wear half mourning for at least six months longer; and, as we have before mertioned, many widows never wear colors any more, unless for some solitary event, such as the wedding of a child, when they would probably put it off for the day. Materials: Dresses and Mantles.-Paramatta, Barathea, silk trimmed with silk, Albert or rainproof crape. Bonnets and Veils.--Crape. Caps.-Lisse, tulle, tarlatan. Collars and Cuffs.-Lawn and muslin. Pocket Handkerchiefs.-Cambric, black borders. The mourning for parents ranks next to that of widows; for children by their parents, and for parents by their children, these being of course identical in degree. It lasts in either case twelve months-six months in crape trimmings, three in plain black, and three in half-mourning. It is, however better taste to continue the plain black to the end of the year and wear half-mourning for three months longer. Materials for first six months, either Paramatta, Barathea, or any of the black corded stuffs, such as Janus cord, about thirty-eight inches wide; Henrietta cord about same price and width. Such dresses would be trimmed with two deep tucks of crape, either Albert or rainproof, would be made plainly the body trimmed with rape, and sleeves with deep crape cuffs. Col lars and cuffs, to be worn during the first mourning would be made of muslin or lawn, with three or four tiny tucks in dis tinction to widows' with the wide, deep hem. Pocket hand kerchiefs would be bordered with black. Black hose, silk or Balbriggan, would be worn, and black kid gloves. For outdoor wear either a dolman mantle would be worn or a paletôt, either of silk or Paramatta, but in either case trimmed with crape. Crape bonnets or hats; if for young children, all crape for bonnets, hats, silk and crape; feathers (black) could be worn, and a jet clasp or arrow in the bonnet, but no other kind of jewelry is admissible but jet-that is, as long as crape is worn. Black furs, such as astrachan, may be worn, or very dark sealskin or black sealskin cloth, now so fashionable, but no light furs of any sort. Silk dresses can be worn, crape trimmed after the first three months if preferred, and it expense be no object the lawn-tucked collars and cuffs would be worn with them. At the end of the six months crape can be put aside, and plain black, such as cashmere, worn, trimmed with silk if liked, but not satın, for that is not a mourning material, and is therefore never worn by those who strictly attend to mourning etiquette. With plain black, black gloves and hose would of course be worn, and jet, no gold or silver jewelry for at least nine months after the com mencement of mourning, then, if the time expires in the twelve months, gray gloves might be worn, and gray ribbons, lace or plain linen collar and cufis take the place of the lawn or muslin, and gray feathers might tighten the hat of bonnet or reversible black and gray strings. Many persons think it is in better taste not to commence half-mourning until after the expiration of a year, except in the case of young children, who are rarely kept in mourning beyond the twelve months. A wife would wear just the same mourning for her husband's relations as for her own; thus, if her husband's mother died, she would wear mourning as deep as if for her own mother. For Grandparents, the first mourning (crape) is worn for three months; second mourning, black, without crape, also worn for three months; and half-mourning for three more, or nine months in all. The same materials are worn, Paramatta, Barathea various cords with crape and cashmere, and menino when the crape is left off. For Sisters or Brothers, six months mourning is usually worn. Crape for three, plain black for two, and half mourning for one month; the same sort of stuffs, the crape being put on in one deep tuck and two narrow tucks, bodice, crape trimmed; mantle or dolman, crape trimmed bonnet of crape with tea. thers or jet, hat of silk and crape. Veil of hat with crape tuck, hose black silk, Balbriggan or cashmere, handkerchiefs black bordered. Silks can be worn after the first month if trimmed with crape. For Uncles, Aunts, Nephews, or Nieces, crape is not worn, but plain black, with jet for three months. For Great Uncies or Aunts, mourning would last for two months without crape. For Cousins (first), six weeks are considered sufficient, three of which would be in half-mourning, For Cousins less closely related, mourning is hardly ever put en unless they have been inmates of the house, No invitations would be accepted before the funeral of any relatives closely enough related to you to put on mourning for. In the case of brothers, sisters, parents, and grandparents, society would be given up for at least three months if not more, and it would be very bad taste to go to a ball or large festive gathering in crape Widows do not enter society for at least a year- that is, during the period of their deepest mourning. With regard to complimentary mourning-as worn by mothers for the mother or father-in-law of their married children, black would be worn for six weeks or so without crape, by second wives for the parents of the first wife, for about three weeks, and in a few other cases. It is better taste to wear mourning in making the first call after a bereavement on friends, but this is not a decided rule, only a graceful method of implying sympathy with those who are suffering affliction But calls are not made until the cards with thanks for kind inquiries" have been sent in return for the cards left at the time of decease. Letters of condolence should always be written on slightly black-edged paper, and it would be kind to intimate in the letter that no answer to it will be expected Few realize the effort it is to those left to sit down and write answers to inquiries and letters, however kind and sympathizing they may have been. Servants Mourning. -Servants are not usually put into mourning except for the members of the household in which they are living, not for the relatives of their masters and mis'resses, and very frequently only for the heads of the house not fo the junior members. A best dress of Victoria cord or alpaca, two cotton dresses, black ter mourning wear while at work. A cloth jacket, in case of master or mistress, with a slight crape trimming, a silk and crape bonnet pair of black kid gloves, and some yards of black cap ribbon, would be the mourning given to the servants in the house at the time of the death of one of the heads of the establishment, and their mourning would be worn for at least six months, or even a year in some cases |