introduce persons who are mutually unknown is to undertake a serious responsibility, and to certify to each the respectability of the other. Never undertake this responsibility without in the first place asking yourself whether the persons are likely to be agreeable to each other; nor, in the second place, without ascertaining whether it will be acceptable to both parties to become acquainted.

Always introduce the gentleman to the lady-never the lady to the gentleman. The chivalry of etiquette assumes that the lady is invariably the superior in right of her sex, and that the gentleman is honored by the introduction.

Never present a gentleman to a lady without first asking her permission to do so.

When you are introduced to a lady, never offer your hand. When introduced, persons limit their recognition of each other to a bow.

Persons who have met at the house of a mutual friend without being introduced, should not bow if they afterwards meet elsewhere; a bow implies acquaintance, and persons who have not been introduced are not acquainted,

If you are walking with one friend, and presently meet with, or are joined by, a second, do not commit the too frequent error of introducing them to each other. You have even less right to do so than if they encountered each other at your house during a morning call.

There are some exceptions to the etiquette of introductions. At a ball or evening party, where there is dancing, the mistress of the house may introduce any gentleman to any lady without first asking the lady's permission. But she should first ascertain whether the lady is willing to dance; and this out of consideration for the gentleman, who may otherwise be refused No man likes to be refused the hand of a lady. though it be only for a quadrille.

A brother may present his sister, or a father his son, without any kind of preliminary: but only when there is no infe

riority on the part of his own family to that of the acquaint

ance.

Friends may introduce friends at the house of a mutual acquaintance, but, as a rule, it is better to be introduced by the mistress of the house Such an introduction carries more authority with it.

Introductions at evening parties are now almost wholly dispensed with. Persons who meet at a friend's house are osten. sibly upon an equality, and pay a bad compliment to the host by appearing suspicious and formal. Some old-fashioned country hosts yet persevere in introducing each newcomer to all the assembled guests. It is a custom that cannot be too soon abolished, and one that places the last unfortunate visitor in a singularly awkward position. All that he can do is to make a semicircular bow, like a concert singer before an audience, and bear the general gaze with as much composure as possible.

If when you enter a drawing-room, your name has been wrongly announced, or has passed unheard in the buzz of conversation, make your way at once to the mistress of the house, if you are a stranger, and introduce yourself by name. This should be done with the greatest simplicity, and your professional or titular rank made as little of as possible.

An introduction given at a ball for the mere purpose of conducting a lady through a dance does not give the gentleman any right to bow to her on a future occasion. If he com mits this error, he must remember that she is not bound to see or return his salutation.

LETTERS OF INTRODUCTION.

Do not lightly give or promise letters of introduction. Always remember that when you give a letter of introduction you lay yourself under an obligation to the friend to whom it is addressed.

No one delivers a letter of introduction in person. It places you in the most undignified position imaginable, and compels you to wait while it is being read, like a footman who has been told to wait for an answer.

If, on the other hand, a stranger sends you a letter of in

troduction and his card, you are bound by the laws of polite ness and hospitality, not only to call upon him the next day, but to follow up that attention with others. If you are in a position to do so, the most correct proceeding is to invite him to dine with you. Should this not be within your power, you have probably the entrée to some private collections, clubhouses, theaters, or reading-rooms, and could devote a few hours to showing him these places.

A letter of introduction should be given unsealed, not alone because your friend may wish to know what you have said of him, but also as a guarantee of your own good faith. As you should never give such a letter unless you can speak highly of the bearer, this rule of etiquette is easy to observe. By requesting your friend to fasten the envelope before forwarding the letter to its destination you tacitly give him permission to inspect its contents.

Let your note paper be of the best quality and proper size. VISITING.-MORNING CALLS.-CARDS.

A morning visit should be paid between the hours of 2 and 4 P.M in winter, and 2 and 5 in summer

Visits of ceremony should be short. If even the conversa. tion should have become animated, beware of letting your call exceed half an hour's length. It is always better to let your friends regret rather than desire your withdrawal.

On returning visits of ceremony you may, without impolite ness, leave your card at the door without going in. Do not fail, however, to inquire if the family be well.

Should there be daughters or sisters residing with the lady upon whom you call, you may turn down a corner of your card, to signify that the visit is paid to all. It is in better taste, however, to leave cards for each.

Unless when returning thanks for "kind inquiries," or announcing your arrival in, or departure from, town, it is not considered respectful to send cards round by a servant.

Leave-taking cards have P.P.C. (pour prendre congé) written in the corner. Some use P.D.A. (pour dire adieu)

The visiting cards of gentlemen are half the size of those used by ladies.

Visits of condolence are paid within the week after the event which occasions them. Personal visits of this kind are made by relations and very intimate friends only. Acquaint ances should leave cards with narrow mourning borders

On the first occasion when you are received by the family after the death of one of its members, it is etiquette to wear slight mourning

When a gentleman makes a morning call he should never leave his hat or riding-whip in the hall, but should take both into the room. To do otherwise would be to make himself

too much at home. The hat, however, must never be laid on a table, piano, or any article of furniture, it should be held gracefully in the hand. If you are compelled to lay it aside put it on the floor.

Umbrellas should invariably be left in the hall.

Never take favorite dogs into a drawing-room when you make a morning call. Their feet may be dusty, or they may bark at the sight of strangers, or being of too friendly a dis position may take the liberty of lying on a lady's gown, or

jumping on the sofas and easy chairs. Where your friend has a favorite cat already established before the fire, a battle may ensue, and one or both of the pets be seriously hurt. Be sides, many persons have a constitutional antipathy to dogs, and others never allow their own to be seen in the sitting rooms. For all or any of these reasons a visitor has no right to inflict upon his friend the society of his dog as well as of himself.

If, when you call upon a lady, you meet a lady visitor in her drawing-room, you should rise when that lady takes her leave. If other visitors are announced, and you have already remained as long as courtesy requires, wait till they are seated, and then rise from your chair, take leave of your hostess, and bow politely to the newly arrived guests. You will, perhaps, be urged to remain, but, having once risen, it is always best to go There is always a certain air of gaucherie in resuming your seat and repeating the ceremony of leave taking, If you have occasion to look at your watch during a cali, ask permission to do so, and apologize for it on the plea of other appointments

CONVERSATION,

Let your conversation be adapted as skillfully as may be to your company. Some men make a point of talking commonplaces to all ladies alike, as if a woman could only be a trifler Others, on the contrary, seem to forget in what respects the education of a lady differs from that of a gentleman, and commit the opposite error of conversing on topics with which ladies are seldom acquainted. A woman of sense has as much right to be annoyed by the one, as a lady of ordinary education by the other. You cannot pay a finer compliment to a woman of refinement and esprit than by leading the conversa tion into such a channel as may mark your appreciation of her superior attainments.

In talking with ladies of ordinary education, avoid political, scientific, or commercial topics, and choose only such subjects as are likely to be of interest to them.

Remember that people take more interest in their own affairs than in anything else which you can name. If you wish your conversation to be thoroughly agreeable, lead a mother to talk of her children, a young lady of her last ball an au thor of his forthcoming book, or an artist of his exhibition picture. Having furnished the topic, you need only listen; and you are sure to be thought not only agreeable, but thoroughly sensible and well-informed

Be careful, however, on the other hand, not always to make a point of talking to persons upon general matters relating to their professions. To show an interest in their immediate concerns is flattering; but to converse with them too much about their own arts looks as if you thought them ignorant of other topics

Do not use a classical quotation in the presence of ladies without apologizing for, or translating it. Even this should only be done when no other phrase would so aptly express your meaning Whether in the presence of ladies or gentle men much display of learning is pedantic and out of place.

There is a certain distinct but subdued tone of voice which is peculiar to only well-bred persons. A loud voice is both

disagreeable and vulgar. It is better to err by the use of too low rather than too loud a tone.

Remember that all "slang" is vulgar.

Do not pun. Puns unless they rise to the rank of witticisms, are to be scrupulously avoided.

Long arguments in general company, however entertaining to the disputants, are tiresome to the last degree to all others. You should always endeavor to prevent the conversation from dwelling too long upon one topic.

Religion is a topic which should never be introduced in society. It is the one subject on which persons are most likely to differ, and least able to preserve temper.

Never interrupt a person who is speaking.

To listen well, is almost as great an art as to talk well. It is not enough only to listen You must endeavor to seem interested in the conversation of others.

It is considered extremely ill-bred when two persons whisper in society, or converse in a language with which all present are not familiar. If you have private matters to discuss, you should appoint a proper time and place to do so without pay ing others the ill compliment of excluding them from your conversation

If a foreigner be one of the guests at a small-party and does not understand English sufficiently to follow what is said, good-breeding demands that the conversation shall be carried on in his own language. If at a dinner-party, the same rule applies to those at his end of the table.

If upon the entrance of a visitor you carry on the thread of a previous conversation you should briefly recapitulate to him what has been said before he arrived.

Always look but never stare, at those with whom you con

verse.

In order to meet the general needs of conversation in society. it is necessary that a man should be well acquainted with the current news and historical events of at least the last few years

Never talk upon subjects of which you know nothing, unless it be for the purpose of acquiring information. Many young men imagine that because they trequent exhibitions and operas they are qualified judges of art No mistake is more egregious or universal.

Those who introduce anecdotes into their conversation are warned that these should invariably be "short, witty, eloquent, new, and not far-fetched "

Scandal is the least excusable of all conversational vulgarities.

In conversing with a man of rank, do not too frequently give him his title.

If you meet a lady in the street whom you are sufficiently intimate to address, do not stop her, but turn round and walk beside her in whichever direction she is going When you have said all that you wish to say, you can take your leave. If you meet a lady with whom you are not particularly well acquainted, wait for her recognition before you venture to bow to her.

In bowing to a lady whom you are not going to address, lift your hat with that hand which is farthest from her. For instance, if you pass her on the right side, use your left hand; if on the left, use your right.

If you are on horseback and wish to converse with a lady who is on foot, you must dismount and lead your horse, so as not to give her the fatigue of looking up to your level. Neither should you subject her to the impropriety of carrying on a conversation in a tone necessarily louder than is sanc tioned in public by the laws of good breeding.

When you meet friends or acquaintances in the streets, at the exhibitions or any public places, take care not to pronounce their names so loudly as to attract the attention of the passers-by. Never call across the street; and never carry on a dialogue in a public vehicle, unless your interlocutor occu pies the seat beside your own.

In walking with a lady, take charge of any small parcel, parasol, or book with which she may be encumbered

DRESS,

A gentleman should always be so well dressed that his dress shall never be observed at all. Does this sound like an enigma? It is not meant for one. It only implies that perfect simplicity is perfect elegance and that the true test of taste in the toilet of a gentleman is its entire harmony, unobtrusiveness, and becomingness. If any friend should say to you, "What a handsome waistcoat you have on "you may depend that a less handsome waistcoat would be in better taste. If you hear it said that Mr So-and-So wears superb jewelry, you may conclude beforehand that he wears too much. Display, in short, is ever to be avoided, especially in matters of dress. The toilet is the domain of the fair sex. Let a wise man leave its graces and luxuries to his wife, daughters, or sisters, and seek to be himself appreciated for something of higher worth than the stud in his shirt or the trinkets on his chain.

To be too much in the fashion is as vulgar as to be too far behind it. No really well-bred man follows every new cut that he sees in his tailor's fashion-book

In the morning wear frock coats, double-breasted waistcoats, and trousers of light or dark colors, according to the

season

In the evening, though only in the bosom of your own fam. ily, wear only black, and be as scrupulous to put on a dress coat as if you expected visitors. If you have sons, bring them up to do the same. It is the observance of these minor trifles in domestic etiquette which marks the true gentleman.

For evening parties, dinner parties, and balls, wear a black dress coat, black trousers, black silk or cloth waistcoat, white cravat white or gray kid gloves, and thin patent leather boots.

A black cravat may be worn in full dress, but is not so elegant as a white one.

Let your jewelry be of the best, but the least gaudy descrip. tion, and wear it very sparingly. A single stud, a gold watch and guard, and one handsome ring, are as many ornaments as a gentleman can wear with propriety.

It is well to remember in the choice of jewelry that mere costliness is not always the test of value, and that an exqui site work of art, such as a fine cameo, or a natural rarity, such as a black pearl, is a more distingué possession than a large brilliant, which any rich and tasteless vulgarian can buy as easily as yourself. For a ring, the gentleman of fine taste would prefer a precious antiqe intaglio to the handsomest diamond or ruby that could be bought at Tiffany's.

Of all precious stones, the opal is one of the most lovely and the least common-place. No vulgar man purchases an opal. He invariably prefers the more showy diamond, ruby, sapphire, or emerald.

Unless you are a snuff-taker, never carry any but a white pocket-handkerchief.

If in the morning you wear a long cravat fastened by a pin, be careful to avoid what may be called alliteration of color. We have seen a turquois pin worn in a violet-colored cravat, and the effect was frightful Choose, if possible, complementary colors, and their secondaries. For instance, if the stone in your pin be a turquois, wear it with brown, or crimson mixed with black, or black and orange. If a ruby, contrast it with shades of green. The same rule holds good with regard to the mixture and contrast of colors in your waistcoat and Thus, a buff waistcoat and a blue tie, or brown and blue, or brown and green, or brown and magenta, green and magenta, green and mauve, are all good arrangements of color.

cravat.

Colored shirts may be worn in the morning; but they should be small in pattern and quiet in color.

In these days of public baths and universal progress, we trust that it is unnecessary to do more than hint at the necessity of the most fastidious personal cleanliness. The hair, the teeth, the nails, should be faultlessly kept; and a soiled shirt, a dingy pocket-handkerchief, or a light waistcoat that has been worn once too often, are things to be scrupulously voided by any man who is ambitious of preserving the exterior of a gentleman.

RIDING AND DRIVING.

riding, as in walking, give the lady the wall.

If you assist a lady to mount, hold your hand at a convenlent distance from the ground that she may place her foot in it. As she springs, you aid her by the impetus of your hand. In doing this, it is always better to agree upon a signal, that her spring and your assistance may come at the same moment. For this purpose there is no better form than the old dueling one of "one, two, three."

When the lady is in the saddle, it is your place to find the stirrup for her, and guide her left foot to it. When this is done, she rises in her seat and you assist her to draw her habit straight.

Even when a groom is present, it is more polite for the

gentleman himself to perform this office for his fair compan ion, as it would be more polite for him to hand her a chai: than to have it handed by a servant.

If the lady be light, you must take care not to give her too much impetus in mounting. We have known a lady nearly thrown over her horse by a misplaced zeal of this kind.

If a gate has to be opened, we need hardly observe that it is your place to hold it open till the lady has passed through. In driving, a gentleman places himself with his back to the horses, and leaves the best seat for the ladies

When the carriage stops, the gentleman should alight first, in order to assist the lady

To get in and out of a carriage gracefully is a simple bat important accomplishment. If there is but one step, and you are going to take your seat facing the horses, put your left foot on the step, and enter the carriage with your right in such a manner as to drop at once into your seat. If you are about to sit with your back to the horses, reverse the process. As you step into the carriage, be careful to keep your back towards the seat you are about to occupy, so as to avoid the awkwardness of turning when you are once in.

A gentleman cannot be too careful to avoid stepping on ladies' dresses when he gets in or out of a carriage. He should also beware of shutting them in with the door.

MORNING AND EVENING PARTIES.

Elegant morning dress, general good manners, and some acquaintance with the topics of the day and the games above named, are all the qualifications especially necessary to a gentleman at a morning party

An evening party begins about nine o'clock P.M., and ends about midnight, or somewhat later. Good-breeding neither demands that you should present yourself at the commencement, nor remain till the close of the evening. You come and go as may be most convenient to you, and by these means are at liberty, during the height of the season when evening parties are numerous, to present yourself at two or three houses during a single evening.

At very large and fashionable receptions, the hostess is generally to be found near the door. Should you, however, find yourself separated by a dense crowd of guests, you are at liberty to recognize those who are near you, and those whom you encounter as you make your way slowly through the throng

If you are at the house of a new acquaintance and find yourself among entire strangers, remember that by so meeting under one roof you are all in a certain sense made known to one another, and should therefore converse freely, as equals. To shrink away to a side-table and affect to be absorbed in some album or illustrated work; or, if you find one unlucky acquaintance in the room, to fasten upon him like a drowning man clinging to a spar, are gaucheries which no shyness can An easy and unembarrassed manner, and the selfpossession requisite to open a conversation with those who happen to be near you, are the indispensable credentials of a well-bred man.

excuse

At an evening party, do not remain too long in one spot

To be afraid to move from one drawing-room to another is the sure sign of a neophyte in society.

If you have occasion to use your handkerchief, do so as noiselessly as possible. To blow your nose as if it were a trombone, or to turn your head aside when using your handkerchief, are vulgarities scrupulously to be avoided.

Never stand upon the hearth with your back to the fire or stove, either in a friend's house or your own.

Never offer any one the chair from which you have just isen, unless there be no other disengaged.

If, when supper is announced, no lady has been specially placed under your care by the hostess, offer your arm to which. ever lady you may have last conversed with.

If you possess any musical accomplishments, do not wait to be pressed and entreated by your hostess, but comply immedi ately when she pays you the compliment of inviting you to play or sing. Remember, however, that only the lady of the house has the right to ask you. If others do so, you can put them off in some polite way; but must not comply till the hostess herself invites you.

If you sing comic songs, he careful that they are of the most unexceptionable kind, and likely to offend neither the tastes nor prejudices of the society in which you find yourself.

If the party be of a small and social kind, and those games called by the French les jeux innocents are proposed, do not object to join in them when invited. It may be that they demand some slight exercise of wit and readiness, and that you do not feel yourself calculated to shine in them; but it is better to seem dull than disagreeable, and those who are obliging can always find some clever neighbor to assist them in the moment of need. The game of consequences is one which unfortunately gives too much scope to liberty of expression. If you join in this game, we cannot toc earnestly enjoin you never to write down one word which the most pure-minded woman present might not read aloud without a blush. Jests of an equivocal character are not only vulgar, but contemptible.

Impromptu charades are frequently organized at friendly parties. Unless you have really some talent for acting and some readiness of speech, you should remember that you only put others out and expose your own inability by taking part in these entertainments. Of course, if your help is really needed and you would disoblige by refusing, you must do your best, and by doing it as quietly and coolly as possible, avoid being awkward or ridiculous.

Should an impromptu polka or quadrille be got up after supper at a party where no dancing was intended, be sure not to omit putting on gloves before you stand up. It is well always to have a pair of white gloves in your pocket in case of need; but even black are better under these circumstances than none.

Even though you may take no pleasure in cards, some knowledge of the etiquette and rules belonging to the games most in vogue is necessary to you in society.

Never let even politeness induce you to play for high stakes. Etiquette is the minor morality of life; but it never should be allowed to outweigh the higher code of right and wrong.

Be scrupulous to observe silence when any of the company are playing or singing. Remember that they are doing this for the amusement of the rest; and that to talk at such a time is as ill-bred as if you were to turn your back upon a person who was talking to you, and begin a conversation with some one else.

If you are yourself the performer, bear in mind that in music, as in speech, "brevity is the soul of wit." Two verses of a song, or four pages of a piece, are at all times enougi o give pleasure. If your audience desire more they will ask or it; and it is infinitely more flattering to be encored than to receive the thanks of you hearers, not so much in gratitude for what you have given them, but in relief that you have left off. You should try to suit your music, like your conversa. tion, to your company. A solo of Beethoven's would be as much out of place in some circles as a comic song at a Quakers' meeting. To those who only care for the light popularities of the season, give Verdi. To connoisseurs, if you perform well enough to venture, give such music as will be likely to meet the exigencies of a fine taste. Above all, attempt nothing that you cannot execute with ease and precis

ion

In retiring from a crowded party it is unnecessary that you should seek out the hostess for the purpose of bidding her a formal good-night. By doing this you would, perhaps, remind others that it was getting late, and cause the party to break up. If you meet the lady of the house on your way to the drawing-room door, take your leave of her as unobtrusively as possible, and slip away without attracting the attention of her other guests.

THE DINNER TABLE.

To be acquainted with every detail of the etiquette pertain. ing to this subject is of the highest importance to every gentleman. Ease, savoir faire, and good-breeding are nowhere more indispensable than at the dinner-table, and the absence of them is nowhere more apparent.

An invitation to dine should be replied to immediately, and unequivocally accepted or declined. Once accepted, nothing but an event of the last importance should cause you to fail in your engagement.

To be exactly punctual is the strictest politeness on these occasions. If you are too early, you are in the way; if too late, you spoil the dinner, annoy the hostess, and are hated by the rest of the guests. Some authorities are even of opinion that in the question of a dinner-party "never" is better than "late" ; and one author has gone so far as to say, "if you do not reach the house till dinner is served, you had better retire to a restaurateur's, and thence send an apology, and not inter rupt the harmony of the courses by awkward excuses and cold acceptance."

When the party is assembled, the mistress or master of the house will point out to each gentleman the lady whom he is to conduct to table. If she be a stranger, you had better seek an introduction; if a previous acquaintance, take care to be near her when the dinner is announced; offer your arm, and go down according to precedence. This order of prece dence must be arranged by the host or hostess.