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Dim. Po po! no such thing; I tell you, Mr. Woodley, you are a mere novice in these affairs.

Wood. Nay, but listen to reason, Mrs. Dimity; has not your master, Mr. Drugget, invited me down to his country seat? has not he promised to give me his daughter Nancy in marriage? and with what pretence can he now break off?

Dim. What pretence! you put a body out of all patience 1). Go on your own way 2), sir; my advice is lost upon you.

Wood. You do me injustice, Mrs. Dimity. Your advice has governed my whole conduct. Have not I fixed an interest in the young lady's heart?

Dim. An interest in a fiddlestick!

You ought to have made sure

of the father and mother. What, do you think the way to get a wife, at this time of day, is by speaking fine things to the lady you have a fancy for? that was the practice, indeed, but things are altered now. You must address the old people, sir; and never trouble your head about your mistress 3).

Wood. But you know, my dear Dimity, the old couple have received every mark of attention from me.

Dim. Attention! to be sure you did not fall asleep in their company; but what then? you should have entered into their characters, played with their humours, and sacrificed to their absurdities.

Wood. But, if my temper is too frank

Dim. Frank, indeed! yes, you have been frank enough to ruin yourself. Have not you to do with a rich old shopkeeper, retired from business with a hundred thousand pounds in his pocket, to enjoy the dust of the London-road, which he calls living in the country; and yet you

1) Ste bringen Einen um alle Geduld. 3) Geliebte.

2) Machen Sie's wie Sie wollen.

must find fault with his situation! What 1), if he has made a ridiculous gimcrack of his house and gardens? you know his heart is set 2) upon it: and could not you have 3) commended his taste? But you must be too frank! <«<Those walks and alleys are too regular; those evergreens should not be cut into such fantastic shapes.>>> And thus you advise a poor old mechanic, who delights in every thing that's monstrous, to follow nature. Oh, you are likely to be a successful lover!

Wood. But why should I not save a father-in-law from being a laughing - stock? 4)

Dim. Make him your father-in-law first! And then the mother; how have you played your cards in that quarter? She wants a tinsel 5) man of fashion for her second daughter. «Don't you see (says she) how happy my eldest girl is made by her match with Sir Charles Rackett? She has been married three entire weeks, and not so much as one angry word has passed between them! Nancy shall have a man of quality too.» Wood. And yet I know Sir Charles Rackett perfectly well.

Dim. Yes, so 6) do I; and I know he'll make his lady wretched at last. But what then? you should have humoured the old folks: you should have been a talking empty fop to the good old lady; and to the old gentleman, an admirer of his taste in gardening. But you have lost him: he is grown fond of this beau, Lovelace, who is here in the house with him; the coxcomb ingratiates himself by flattery, and you're undone by frankness.

Wood. And yet, Dimity, I won't despair.

Dim. And yet you have reason to despair; a million of reasons: tomorrow is fixed for the wedding-day: Sir Charles and his lady are to be here this very night; they are engaged, indeed, at a great rout in town, but they take a bed 7) here, notwithstanding. The family is sitting up for them; Mr. Drugget will keep you all in the next room there, till they arrive; to-morrow the business is over; and yet you don't despair! Hush! hold your tongue; here comes Lovelace; step in, and I'll deviseR) something, I warrant you (exit Woodley). The old folks shall not have their own way 9). It is enough to vex a body, to see an old father and mother marrying their daughter as they please, in spite of my judgment, and all I can do.

Enter Lovelace.

Dim. Do lend us your assistance, Mr. Lovelace. You are a sweet gentleman, and love a good-natured action.

Love. Why, how now! what's the matter?

Dim. My master is going to cut the two yew-trees into the shape of two devils, I believe; and my poor mistress is breaking her heart for it. Do, run and advise him against it. She is your friend, you know she is, sir.

Love. Oh, if that's all, I'll make that matter easy 10) directly.

Dim. My mistress will be for ever obliged to you; and you will marry her daughter in the morning.

Love. Oh, my rhetoric shall dissuade him.

Dim. And, sir, put him against dealing with that nursery-man 11); Mrs. Drugget hates him.

1) D. h. was kümmert's dich. 2) Versessen. 3) (240). 4) Gegenstand des Gelächters. 5) Zierlich: d. h. Mode-Geck. 6) (146). 7) To take a bed, die Nacht zubringen. 8) To devise, ausmitteln, erfinnen. 9) To have one's own way, feinen Willen haben. 10) To make easy, ausgleichen. 11) Nursery-man, ein Gärtner, der junge Bäume zieht, Kunstgärtner.

Love. Does she?

Dim. Mortally.

Love. Say no more: the business is done.

(exit.)

Dim. If he says one word against the giants at Guildhall 1), he is undone. Old Drugget will never forgive him. My brain was at its last shift 2); but, if this plot takes so, here comes our Nancy.

Enter Nancy.

Nan. Well, Dimity, what's to become of me?

Dim. My stars! what makes you up3), miss? I thought you were gone to bed.

Nan. What should I go to bed for? only to tumble, and toss, and fret, and be uneasy. They are going to marry me, and I am frighted out of my wits 1).

Dim. Why, then you are the only young lady, within fifty miles round, that would be frightened at such a thing.

Nan. Ah! if they would let me chuse for myself.

Dim. Don't you like Mr. Lovelace.

Nan. My mamma does, but I don't; I don't mind his being a man of fashion, not I.

Dim. And, pray, can you do better than to follow the fashion? Nan. Ah! I know there's a fashion for new bonnets, and a fashion for dressing the hair; but I never heard of a fashion for the heart.

Dim. Why then, my dear, the heart mostly follows the fashion now. Nan. Does it? Pray, who sets the fashion of the heart?

Dim. All the fine ladies in London, o'my conscience.

Nan. And what's the last new fashion, pray?

Dim. Why, to marry any fop that has a few deceitful agreeable appearances) about him; something of a pert phrase, a good operator for the teeth, and a tolerable tailor.

Nan. And do they marry without loving?

Dim. Oh! marrying for love has been a great while out of fashion. Nan. Why then I'll wait till that fashion comes up again.

Dim. And then, Mr. Lovelace, I reckon

Nan. Pshaw! I don't like him: he talks to me as if he was the most miserable man in the world, and the confident thing looks so pleased with himself all the while. I want to marry for love, and not for cardplaying. I should not be able to bear the life my sister leads with Sir Charles Rackett. Shall I tell you a secret? I will forfeit 6) my new cap, if they don't quarrel soon.

Dim. Oh, fie! no! they won't quarrel yet a while. A quarrel in three weeks after marriage, would be somewhat of the quickest. Byand-by we shall hear of their whims and their humours. Well, but if you don't like Mr. Lovelace, what say you to Mr. Woodley?

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Nan. Ah! I don't know what to say but I can sing something that will explain my mind.

When first the dear youth, passing by,
Disclos'd his fair form to my sight,

I gaz'd, but I could not tell why,
My heart it went throb with delight.

1) In Guildhall stehen zwei Riesen, die hier in Bäumen nachgemacht werden sollen. 2) Shift, Mittel, hier: wußte nicht mehr wohin. 3) What makes you up, was hält Sie noch auf? 4) Out of my wits, von Sinnen, außer mir. 5) Appearances, äußere Eigenschaften. 6) Verpfänden, daran segen.

As nearer he drew, those sweet eyes,
Were with their dear meaning so bright,
I trembled, and, lost in surprise,

My heart it went throb with delight.

When his lips their dear accents did try
The return of my love to excite,

I feign'd, yet began to guess why

My heart it went throb with delight.

We chang'd the stol'n glance, the fond smile,
Which lovers alone read aright;

We look'd, and we sigh'd, yet the while
Our hearts they went throb with delight.

Consent I soon blush'd, with a sigh
My promise I ventur'd to plight:
Come, Hymen, we then shall know why
Our hearts they go throb with delight.

Enter Woodley.

Wood. My sweetest angel! I have heard it all, and my heart overflows with love and gratitude.

Nan. Ahl but I did not know you were listening. You should not have betrayed me so, Dimity; I shall be angry with you.

Dim. Well, I'll take my chance 1) for that. Run both into my room, and say all your pretty things to one another there, for here comes the old gentleman make haste, away.

(exeunt Woodley and Nancy.)

Enter Drugget.

Drug. A forward presuming 2) coxcomb! Dimity, do you step to Mrs. Drugget, and send her hither.

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it works upon him, I see.

(exit.)

Dim. Yes, sir; Drug. The yew-trees ought not to be cut, because they'll help to keep off the dust, and I am too near the road already. A sorry ignorant fop! When I am in so fine a situation, and can see every cart, waggon, and stage-coach, that goes by. And then to abuse 3) the nursery-man's rarities! A finer sucking pig in lavender, with sage) growing in his belly, was never seen! And yet he wants me not to have it 5) but have it I will. There's a fine tree of knowledge, with Adam and Eve in juniper; Eve's nose not quite grown, but it's thought in the spring will be very forward: I'll have that too, with the serpent in ground ivy 6) two poets in wormwood I'll have them both, Ay; and there's a Lord Mayor's feast in honeysuckle"); and the whole court of aldermen in hornbeam ): they all shall be in my garden, with the Dragon of Wantley in box), all, all: I'll have them all, let my wife and Mr. Lovelace say what they will.

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1) I'll take my chance for that, ich will es darauf wagen, ankommen lassen. 2) Presuming, anmaßend. 3) To abuse, tadeln. 4) Sage, Salbet. 5) He wants me not to have it, er verlangt von mir, es nicht zu haben, zu halten. 6) Erde epheu. 7) Honeysuckle, Geißblatt. 8) Hornbeam, Hagebuche. 9) Box, Buchsbaum.

Enter Mrs. Drugget.

Mrs. D. Did you send for me, lovey?

Drug. The yew-trees shall be cut into the giants at Guildhall, whether you will or not.

Mrs. D. Sure, my own dear will do as he pleases.

Drug. And the pond, though you praise the green banks, shall be walled 1) round; and I'll have a little fat boy in marble, spouting up water in the middle.

Mrs. D. My sweet, who hinders you?'

Drug. Yes, and I'll buy the nursery-man's whole catalogue. Do you think, after retiring to live all the way 2) here, almost four miles from London, that I won't do as I please in my own garden?

Mrs. D. My dear, but why are you in such a passion?

Drug. I'll have the lavender pig, and the Adam and Eve, and the Dragon of Wantley, and all of 'em; and there shan't be a more romantic spot on the London-road than mine.

Mrs. D. I'm sure it is as pretty as hands can make it.

Drug. I did it all myself, and I'll do more. And Mr. Lovelace shan't have my daughter.

Mrs. D. No! what's the matter now, Mr. Drugget?

Drug. He shall learn better manners than to abuse my house and gardens. You put him into the head of it3) but I'll disappoint ye both. And so you may go and tell Mr. Lovelace that the match is quite off.

Mrs. D. I can't comprehend all this, not I. But I'll tell him so, if you please, my dear. I am willing to give myself pain, if it will give you pleasure: must I give myself pain? Don't ask me, pray don't; I can't support all this uneasiness.

Drug. I am resolved, and it shall be so.

Mrs. D. Let it be so then. (cries.) Oh! oh! cruel man! I shall break my heart if the match is broke off. If it is not concluded to- morrow, send for an undertaker 1), and bury me the next day.

Drug. How! I don't want that neither.

Mrs. D. Oh! oh!

Drug. I am your lord and master, my dear, but not your executioner. Before George, it must never be said that my wife died of too much compliance. Cheer up 5), my love; and this affair shall be settled as soon as Sir Charles and Lady Rackett arrive.

Mrs. D. You bring me to life again. happy couple Sir Charles and his lady are. our Nancy as happy.

You know, my sweet, what an
Why should not we make

Enter Dimity.

Dim. Sir Charles and his lady, ma'am.

Mrs. D. Oh! charming! I'm transported with joy! where are they?

I long to see 'em.

Dim. Well, sir; the happy couple are 6) arrived.

Drug. Yes, they do live happy indeed.

Dim. But how long will it last?

(exit.)

Drug. How long! Don't forbode any ill, you jade; don't, I say. It

will last during their lives, I hope.

1) To wall, ummauern. 2) All the way, diesen weiten Weg; so weit ab. 3) You put him into the head of it ist vulgäre Construktion. 4) Undertaker, Leichenbesorger. 5) Cheer up, sei munter. 6) (241).

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