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The TATLER. [N° 37. By Mrs. Jenny Distaff,Half-Sifter to Mr. Bickerstaff.

From Saturd. July 2. to Tuefd. July 5. 1709.

White's Chocolate-house, July 2.

may be thought very unaccountable, that I ́ who can never be fuppofed to go to White's, Thould pretend to talk to you of Matters proper for, or in the Stile of, that Place. But though I never vifit thefe publick Haunts, I converfe with thofe that do; and for all they pretend so much to the contrary, they are as talkative as our Sex, and as much at a Lofs to entertain the prefent Company, without facrificing the laft, as we our felves. This Reflection. has led me into the Confideration of the Ufe of Speech; and made me look over in my Memory all my Acquaintance of both Sexes, to know to which I may more juftly impute the Sin of fuperfluous Difcourfe, in Regard to Converfation, without entring into it as refpects Religion.

I forefee my Acquaintance will immediately, upon ftarting this Subject, ask me, How I fhall celebrate Mrs. Alfe Copfwood, the Yorkshire Hunstrefs, who is come to Town lately, and moves as if he were on her Nag, and going to take a Five-Bar Gate; and is as loud as if the were folJowing her Dogs? I can easily answer that; for The is as foft as Damon, in Comparison of her Brother-in-Law Tom. Bellfrey, who is the most accomplish'd Man in this Kingdom for all Gentleman-like Activities and Accomplishments. It is allow'd, that he is a profefs'd Enemy to the Italian

Italian Performers in Mufick. But then for our own native Manner, according to the Customs and known Ufages of our Illand, he is to be preferr'd, for the Generality of the Pleafure he beftows, much before thofe Fellows, though they fing to full Theatres. For what is a Theatrical Voice to that of a Fox-hunter? I have been at a Mufical Entertainment in an open Field, whe e it amaz'd me to hear to what Pitches the chief Matters would reach. There was a Meeting near our Seat in Staffordshire, and the most emine t of all the Counties of England were at it. How wonderful was the Harmony between Men and Dogs! Robin Cartail of Bucks was to answer to Fowler; Mr. Tinbreaft of Cornwal was appointed to open with Sweetlips, and Beaux Slimber, a Londener, undertook to keep up with Trips, a Whelp juft fet in: Tom. Bellfrey and Ringwood were cou pled together, to fill the Cry on all Occafions, and be in at the Death of the Fox, Hare, or Stag; for which both the Dog and the Man were excellently fuited, and loved one another, and were as much together as Banifter and King. When Fowler firft alarm'd the Field, Cartail repeated every Note Sweetlips's Treble fucceeded, and fhook the Wood; Tinbreaft eccho'd a Quarter of a Mile beyond it. We were foon after all at a Lofs, till we rid up, and found Trips and Slimber 3 at a Default in Half Notes: But the Day and the Tune was recovered by Tom. Bellfrey and Ringwood, to the great Joy of us all, tho' they drowned every other Voice: For Bellfrey carries a Note Four Furlongs, Three Rood, and Six Paces, further than any other in England.

I fear the Mention of this will be thought a 7 Digreftion from my Purpofe about Speech: But I anfwer, No. Since this is used where Speech rather fhould be employ'd, it may come into Confideration in the fame Chapter: For Mr. Be N 2

frey

frey being at a Vifit where I was, viz. his Coufin's (Lady Dainty's) in Soho, was asked, What Entertainments they had in the Courry? Now Bellfrey is very ignorant, and much a Clown; but confident withal. In a Word, he ftruck up a Fox-Chafe: Lady Dainty's Dog, Mr. Sippet, as fhe calls him, ftarted and jump'd out of his Lady's Lap, and fell a barking. Bellfrey went on, and call'd all the neighbouring Parishes into the Square. Never was Woman in fuch Confufion as that delicate Lady. But there was no stopping her Kinfman. A Room full of Ladies fell into the most violent Laughter: My Lady look'd as if she was fhrieking; Mr. Sippet in the Middle of the Room, breaking his Heart with barking, but all of us unheard. As foon as Bellfrey became filent, up gets my Lady, and takes him by the Arm to lead him off: Bellfrey was in his Boots. As he was hurrying him away, his Spurs takes hold of her Petticoat; his Whip throws down a Cabinet of China: He cries, What! Are your Crocks rotten? Are your Petticoats ragged? A Man can't walk in your House for Trincums.

Every County of Great Britain has One Hundred or more of this Sort of Fellows, who Roar inftead of Speaking. Therefore if it be true, that we Women are alfo given to greater Fluency of Words than is neceffary, fure she that disturbs but a Room or a Family is more to be tolerated, than one who draws together Parishes and Counties, and fometimes (with an Estate that might make him the Bleffing and Ornament of the World around him) has no other View and Ambition, but to be an Animal above Dogs and Horfes, without the Relifh of any one Enjoyment, which is peculiar to the Faculties of hunane Nature. know it will here be faid, that talking of meer Country Squires at this Rate, is,

as

2693 as it were, to write against Valentine and Orfon. To prove any Thing against the Race of Men,you must take 'em as they are adorn'd with Edu cation, as they live in Courts, or have received Inftructions in Colleges.

But I am fo full of my late Entertainment by Mr. Bellfrey, that I must defer purfuing this Subject to another Day; and wave the proper Obfervations upon the different Offenders in this Kind, fome by profound Eloquence on fmall Occafions, others by degrading Speech upon great Circumftances. Expect therefore to hear of the Whisperer without Bufinefs, the Laugher without Wit, the Complainer without receiving Injuries, and a very large Crowd, which I fhall not forestall, who are common (though not commonly obferv'd) Impertinents, whole Tongues are too voluble for their Brains, and are the general Defpifers of us Women, though we have their Superiors, the Men of Senfe, for our Ser-

vants..

St. James's Coffee-house, July 4.

There has arriv'd no Mail fince our laft; fo that we have no Manner of Foreign News, except we were to give you, for fuch, the many Speculations which are on Foot concerning what was imported by the laft Advices. There are, it feems, Sixty Battalions and Seventeen Squadrons appointed to ferve in the Siege of Tournay; the Garrifon of which Place confifts but. of Eleven Battalions and Four Squadrons. Letters of the 29th of the laft Month from Berlin have brought Advice, That the Kings of Denmark, Pruffia, and his Majefty Auguftus, were within few Days to come to an Interview at Potsdam. Thefe Letters mention, That Two Polish Princes of the Family of Sapieha and Lubermirsky, lately arriv'd from Paris, confirm

N 3

the

4

the Reports of the Mifery in France for Want of Provifions, and give a particular Inftance of it, which is, That on the Day Monfieur Rouille returned to Court, the Common People gather'd in Crowds about the Dauphin's Coach, crying, Peace and Bread, Bread and Peace.

Mrs. Diftaff has taken upon her, while be writes this Paper, to turn her Thoughts wholly to the Service of her own Sex, and to propofe Remedies against the greatest Vexations attending Female Life. She has for this End written a small Treatife concerning the Second Word, with an Appendix on the Ufe of a Reply, very proper for all Juch as are married to Perfons either ill-bred or illnatured. There is in this Tract a Digreffion, for the Ufe of Virgins, concerning the Words, I will.

A Gentlewoman who has a very delicate Ear, wants a Maid who can whisper, and help her in the Government of her Family. If the faid Servant can Clear-Starch, Lifp, and Tread Softly, she fhat have fuitable Encouragement in her Wages.

The TATLER. [No 38. By Mrs. Jenny Distaff, Half-Sifter to Mr.BickerstaffFrom Tuefd. July 5. to Thurfd. July 7. 1709.

From my own Apartment, July 6.

Find among my Brother's Papers the following Letter verbatim, which I wonder how We could fupprefs fo long as he has, fince it was fent him for no other End, but to fhow the good Effect his Writings have already had upon the ill Customs of the Age.

SAR,