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which he captured an inspector from three irate old gentlemen by a slight gesture. Remembering our own experiences with these same customs officials, we were simply overcome by the respectful alacrity shown by this one under Angus's direction. Lingering in the background, we watched him tip the panting stewards and swiftly dispose of one piece of baggage after another; there were fifteen of them all told. William stuck at the little chap's elbow and dodged clumsily out of his way, and I could tell by the expression of his face that William was cursing heavily. Finally he threw up his hands and came over to join us, and I heard him say to his wife, “I'm glad to report that the young prime minister has some civilized clothes in his kit."
A moment later Angus also ,oined us.
“I've asked them to express everything to your place in Scarsdale except that one bag. You don't think it will crowd the motor too much, do you?”
William Ferguson beckoned over his shoulder to our big surly Irish chauffeur, and jerked a thumb.
“Kelly,” said William, “get the bag, will you?”
But Kelly already had the bag.
“Is that your man?” Angus asked. “What 's your name, old chap?”
“Timothy Kelly, sir,” said our surly Irish chauffeir in a tone that none of us had ever heard him use before, a tone of breathless respect. Imagine our feelings! We had constant cause to complain of Kelly's rudeness and impertinence, and the more impudent
Kelly was, the louder William would It was the only part of his uniform laugh. William positively enjoyed the they could save for me. You see, the ugly temper of the man, and ridiculed pater had led his men over the top, and
You see, William detests the traf- when the Hun drove them back, the fic regulations, and he demands that his pater hung on the wire between the chauffeur defy them. A traffic officer's lines all day and was shot to shreds. uplifted hand meant nothing to Kelly, Colonel Grahame fetched his body in and from his driver's seat he would for burial when it grew dark enough, “sass” the biggest mounted policeman and sent this sporran to mother.” that ever headed a parade. William Naturally, I could have bitten my called him "beautifully blind" to speed- tongue off. I walked down the pier signs, and had grown very much at- mentally kicking myself. tached to him, never omitting an oppor- ceeded through the gates in dead siltunity to encourage his disrespect for lence, but when Angus saw the new law and good manners.
car, he brightened up at once. But here was our hulking, irascible “Well, now," he exclaimed, "this is Kelly eating out of Angus's hand. It rather swish!” was too humiliating. I could see that “ 'Swish'!” Betty fell upon the word. William Ferguson was enraged. And “Whaddeyuh mean, 'swish'?” Bob Angus was asking Kelly, sternly:
glowered. “You 're not a Sinn Feiner, are you, “Now I've done it!” said Angus. Kelly?”
“Mother told me to be careful about “Not I, sir!” said Kelly, amazed. that word. It's very inelegant, as “My home was Ballyclare, sir. Sure,
What I mean is, I'm I'm a Carsonite."
most awfully glad you have a car like "I'm very glad to hear that,” said that, because that's what we have at Angus, gravely.
home in Edinburgh. May n't I drive, “Thank you, sir," said Kelly with Cousin William?” great heartiness, and stalked off with “You don't know the traffic regulathe bag as proudly as if it had been tions, old son,” said William, meaning, the Holy Grail he held in his dirty fist I suppose, that he would n't know instead of a fat, brown portmanteau. enough to break all of them as Kelly
Angus favored us with a smile that always did. “Wait until we get out showed all his even teeth.
into the country," he added. William "It was really ripping of you," he was rather subdued since the sporran said enthusiastically, “to meet me com- incident. He sat beside Kelly, and the ing off that boat. I did n't expect it, rest of us were piled into the rear, Angus you know.”
still clinging to his little Aberdeenshire “Young man," said William, fiercely, terrier and his book. “what the devil would your ducal high- “What's the name of your dog?” ness have done if we had n't met you?” Mrs. Ferguson asked timidly.
“I should have gone to an hotel,” “His name is Joshua,” said Angus, said Angus, somewhat taken aback, and held him out to Martha, whose hesi"and tubbed and changed before ring- tating reception allowed Betty to seize ing you up on the telephone. I travel the terrier. Joshua's tail had been wagin these things, and they ’re top-hole ging steadily ever since they came down for a voyage; but they 're not exactly the gang-plank; now his whole body presentable, now are they?"
wagged while Bob and Betty bent their Top-hole,' murmured Betty, re- heads over him. lishing the word.
“Why on earth did you call him I tried to make conversation by air- Joshua?” I asked as we sped up lower ing my infinitesimal knowledge of Scot- Broadway. tish terminology.
Angus withdrew his wondering eyes “It n't that a very large sporran for from the skyscrapers. a little boy to wear?” I asked brightly. "I don't know," he said, and grinned.
"My father," he said quietly, “was “I dare say you ’ll think it silly of wearing this sporran when he was shot. me, but I'm certain that if Joshua had
been a dog instead of a man, he would yourself, making me slide the wheel on have looked like-Joshua. Don't you a thousand dollar's worth of tires!” see a resemblance?”
Kelly replied, equally angry. Kelly doubled up over his wheel, and “I'll give you a black eye and a sumWilliam unbent enought to smile sheep- mons, both with the same lick, if you ishly. I felt like a fool, and I knew talk back to me,” the officer threatened I had been "had," as Angus would have furiously. said. His mother was right; there was "Is it so?” said Kelly, rising up in mischief in him. He looked at me with his seat. “You strike me, and I 'll find a half-apologetic grin.
you after hours and open your fat skull "I'm just rotting you. I hope you long enough to let some sense in.” don't mind,” he said. “You see, when “You 're pinched," said the officer, Joshua was a little pup he was a fright- decisively. ful coward. Mother was terribly wor- “One moment, please," said Angus, ried about us both. Dad had just been laying a restraining hand upon Kelly's killed in the Somme show, and I had shoulder. “I don't think you two felhad pneumonia and could n't seem to lows could hurt one another." He buck up after it. When I kept on hav- smiled at them. ing chills and fever, mother gave me
“What is it?" “What do you say?” the pup, and told us we'd have to set they inquired together. each other an example. He was such a "Do you box, old chaps?" Angus coward and I was so ratty, don't you asked. see? Mother said I had the MacLeod They looked at each other and then name to grow up to, and I must give at Angus. the pup a name that would make him “Sure I do,” said the officer. ambitious. Poor little Josh has had a “If you mean me,” said Kelly, “I task to grow up to deserve the name of do indeed." a great warrior."
“Cousin William," said Angus, "may At Twenty-third Street Kelly shot I arrange a bout?” past an outraged traffic-policeman and “Go to it, kid," said William. scudded ahead of the mid-afternoon jam “Give me your card,” said Angus, of vehicles up Fifth Avenue.
and William hastily fished a card from devil seemed to possess Kelly. Martha his wallet. “Now, then," Angus conFerguson and I sat on the edge of the tinued, holding out the card to the perseat holding our breath all the way up spiring officer, come out the first bank to Fifty-ninth Street, while we had one holiday to Mr. Ferguson's country place hairbreadth escape after another from at that address, and we 'll stage a bout collisions and arrests. William may find between you.
How would ten rounds that sort of thing “relaxing" after a do? That is, if you 're not afraid of hard day in his office, and “exhilara- each other?” ting at the beginning of one, but it ex- “Give me your address, Captain,"
said William Ferguson, pencil in hand, At Fifty-ninth Street the inevitable “and remember there's a five hundredhappened. Kelly ignored the stop sig- dollar purse for the winner, and two nal, and the huge officer in charge of hundred dollars for the loser." traffic stepped squarely into our path. “I promised my old woman the We screamed, and clutched Betty, who officer began, scratching his head in a sat between us. Kelly nearly threw us
doubtful way. all out of the car by the violence with "Fetch her along,” said Angus. which he put on the brakes.
"Fetch your family and friends and "I say,” said Angus, "what wonder- have a fine day with us in the country.” ful big chaps these bobbies are!"
“Thank you, sir, I'll think it over. “What in h is the matter with There's an ordinance against prizeyou!" shouted the officer, coming fighting.” around to Kelly. “Is it blind you are, “We 'll stop another time and ask crazy?"
you again," said Angus. "What in h
- is the matter with “All right, sir. As for you,” he added
to Kelly, “wash the dirt out of your would be hardly any left in three eyes and watch your step."
weeks.” As we flew out Fifth Avenue Wil- We rode on uneventfully for the next liam reached over and shook Angus by half-hour or so, while Angus questioned the hand.
Kelly as to how many "stone" he “Welcome to our shores,” he said weighed and if he were in training and gratefully.
what weight of gloves he used, and a “You know, Angus turned to us lot of other things I could n't hear for and lowered his voice,- “the Irish are the rush of air. Kelly will not drive like that. If England should leave them slower than forty miles an hour. At to fight it out among themselves, there length we pulled up to the curb.
“We 're in the country now," said somebody something in that utterly unKelly, with a wave at the gorgeous au- objectionable manner of his. He taught tumnal foliage all about us.
Kelly to repair the car. He taught the want the young gentleman to take the gardener how to make his own compost wheel?”
for the rose-bushes. He taught Bob to “Come on, diplomat, let's see how box, and, what was harder, he explained you can drive," said William.
to Bob why it was necessary to keep out and came around to take Angus's one's temper while boxing. He discovplace, while Angus scrambled over be- ered Betty's penchant for queer lanhind the wheel, and peered down at the guage, and taught her Britishisms and confusion of gages and things on the certain Gaelic expressions that sounded dash-board. Our car had a wonderful for all the world like swearing. Those collection of dash-board fixtures. An- two children would giggle over them, gus was fingering these things and and Angus would explain elaborately, mumbling something to Kelly.
with a twinkle that showed he was "rot“I never touched it, sir," said Kelly. 'ting" us. “I don't know what it 's for.”
He actually had the temerity to teach Angus went on fingering these things William Ferguson golf, our own Wiland mumbling, and Kelly repeated after liam, who has been a champion golfer a moment: “I swear to you, sir, on my
It was bad for William's bended knee, I never used it. There's temper until he discovered how good it a terrible lot about this car that I don't was for his game, and thereafter he understand at all."
simply monopolized his Scotch “peda"Let me explain it to you," said An- gogue.” gus, and got out, followed by our for- After a week in the best of our New mer “expert.” “Just open the hood, Rochelle schools, Angus informed us will you?” Angus went on. William that he was “fed up with that case of got out, too, and Angus, noticing him, mummies." The people in charge were turned to us all.
"simply childish." The poor dears "I say," he said, "please don't think did n't even speak grammatically. So me a meddlesome blighter for messing William took him downtown every with your motor." Then to Kelly he morning for a couple of weeks, and let added, “And please don't think I'm him explore the intricacies of the stockswanking or trying to make a bally ass broker's business. That was new to of you.'
him, and he picked up a wonderful lot “Certainly not, sir,” said Kelly. of Wall Street jargon. William could
“ 'Swanking,'" Betty repeated quick- have made a broker of him, he declared, ly_"does that mean 'showing-off'?" but the boy decided he ought to broaden Angus nodded.
his field, and William finally entered “You see, I spent a month in the fac- him for a lot of lecture courses at Coltory," he apologized, “getting the hang umbia University. He and William moof our car. Mother said it would be tored to town every morning. Angus educational. I don't know about that, dropped off at 116th Street, and William but it was jolly good fun.
returned at three o'clock to pick him up By the way, I might mention that for the regular afternoon golf. Angus drove quite as well as William One evening Angus came down from Ferguson himself, and I have always his room brandishing a book in one thought my brother was the finest hand and shouting that at last Profesdriver in the world. What is more, An- sor Somebody had told the truth. We gus taught my reckless nephew Bob to were all in the library, and he took the drive beautifully. Angus cared no more center of the fireplace to address us. for driving than William did. He said “Here 's an American scholar,” he he was lazy about it, and that you declared with enthusiasm, patting the could n't enjoy the view and the bright little book, “who has examined all the colors in the woods. But he was n't books on history that are used in your lazy about teaching other people. schools, and who proves that all of them
That child was forever teaching deliberately lie about England, espe