1 K. Hen. Then this remains,-that we divide our power. You, son John, and my cousin Westmoreland, To meet Northumberland and the prelate Second Part of King Benry the Fourth. Persons Represented. KING HENRY THE FOURth. HENRY, Prince of Wales, afterwards King Henry V.; THOMAS, Duke of Clarence; | TRAVERS and MORTON, Domesticks of Northum- FALSTAFF, BARDOLPH, PISTOL, and Page. PRINCE JOHN of Lancaster, afterwards his Sons. SHALLOW and SILENCE, Country Justices. will stop The vent of hearing, when loud Rumour speaks? England. Quenching the flame of bold rebellion They bring smooth comforts false, worse than [Exit. true wrongs. Enter NORTHUMBERLAND. Bard. Should be the father of some stratagem; Noble earl, And Westmoreland, and Stafford, fled the field; North. How is this deriv'd? Saw you the field? came you from Shrewsbury? [from thence; Bard. I spake with one, my lord, that came A gentleman well bred, and of good name, That freely render'd me these news for true. North. Here comes my servant, Travers, whom I sent On Tuesday last to listen after news. Bard. My lord, I over-rode him on the way; And he is furnish'd with no certainties, More than he haply may retail from me. Enter TRAVERS. North. Now, Travers, what good tidings come with you? [back Tra. My lord, Sir John Umfrevile turn'd me With joyful tidings; and being better hors'd, Outrode me. After him, came, spurring hard, A gentleman almost forspent with speed, That stopp'd by me to breathe his bloodied horse: He ask'd the way to Chester; and of him North. Ha!--Again, Said he, young Harry Percy's spur was cold? Of Hotspur, coldspur? that rebellion Ilad met ill luck! Bard. My lord, I'll tell you what;If my young lord your son have not the day, Upon mine honour, for a silken point I'll give my barony: never talk of it. North. Why should the gentleman, that rode Give them such instances of loss? [by Travers, Bard. Who, he? He was some hilding fellow, that had stol'n The horse he rode on; and, upon my life, Spoke at a venture. Look, here comes more news. Enter MORTON. North. Yea this man's brow, like to a title-leaf, Foretells the nature of a tragick volume: So looks the strond, whereon the imperious flood Hath left a witness'd usurpation,Say, Morton, didst thou come from Shrewsbury? Your brother, thus; so fought the noble Douglas; Why, he is dead. Tell thou thy earl, his divination lies; North. Yet, for all this, say not that Percy's Mor. I am sorry, I should force you to believe That, which I would to heaven I had not seen: But these mine eyes saw him in bloody state, Rend'ring faint quittance, wearied and outbreath'd, [down To Harry Monmouth; whose swift wrath beat cester Too soon ta'en prisoner: and that furious Scot, The bloody Douglas,whose well labouring sword Had three times slain the appearance of theking, 'Gan vail his stomach, and did grace the shame Of those that turn'd their backs; and, in his flight Stumbling in fear, was took. The sum of all Is, that the king hath won; and hath sent out In poison there is physick; and these news Having been well, that would have made me sick, Being sick, have in some measure made me well: Thou art a guard too wanton for the head, To frown upon the enrag'd Northumberland! Let us make head. It was your presurmise, Yet did you say,-Go forth; and none of this, Bard. We all that are engaged to this loss, I hear for certain, aud do speak the truth,- Seem'd on our side, but, for their spirits and souls, This word, rebellion, it had froze them up, Suppos'd sincere and holy in his thoughts, stones: Derives from heaven his quarrel, and his cause; Tells them, he doth bestride a bleeding land, Gasping for life under great Bolingbroke; And more, and less, do flock to follow him. North. I knew of this before; but, to speak truth, This present grief had wip'd it from my mind, Never so few, and never yet more need. [Exeunt. SCENE II. London. A Street. Enter SIR JOHN FALSTAFF, with his Page bearing his Sword and Buckler. Fal. Sirrah, you giant, what says the doctor to my water? Page. He said, sir, the water itself was a good healthy water: but for the party that owed it, he might have more diseases than he knew for. Fal. Men of all sorts take a pride to gird at me: The brain of this foolish-compounded clay, man, is not able to vent any thing that tends to laughter, more than I invent, or is invented on me: I am not only witty in myself, but the cause that wit is in other men. I do here walk before thee, like a sow, that hath overwhelmed all her litter but one. If the prince put thee into my service for any other reason than to set me off, why then I have no judgment. Thou whoreson mandrake, thou art fitter to be worn in my cap, than to wait at my heels. I was never manned with anagate till now: but I will set you neither in gold nor silver, but in vile apparel, and send you back again to your master, for a jewel; the juvenal, the prince your master, whose chin is not yet fledged. I will sooner have a beard grow in the palm of my hand, than he shall get one on his cheek; and yet he will not stick to say, his face is a face-royal: God may finish it when he will, it is not a hair amiss yet: he may keep it still as a face-royal, for a barber shall never earn sixpence out of it; and yet he will be crowing, as if he had writ man ever since his father was a bachelor. He may keep his own grace, but he is almost out of mine, I can assure him. What said master Dumbleton about the satin for my short cloak, and slops? Page. He said, sir, you should procure him better assurance than Bardolph: he would not take his bond and yours; he liked not the security. Fal. Let him be damned like the glutton! may his tongue be hotter!-A whoreson Achitophel! a rascally yea-forsooth knave; to bear a gentleman in hand, and then stand upon security!-The whoreson smooth-pates do now wear nothing but high shoes, and bunches of keys at their girdles; and if a man is thorough with them in honest taking up, then they must stand upon-security. I had as lief they would pat ratsbane in my mouth, as offer to stop it with security. I looked he should have sent me two and twenty yards of satin, as I am a true knight, lethargy, an't please your lordship; a kind of and he sends me security. Well, he may sleep sleeping in the blood, a whoreson tingling. in security; for he hath the horn of abundance, Ch. Just. What tell you me of it? be it as and the lightness of his wife shines through it: it is. and yet cannot he see, though he have his own lantern to light him.-Where's Bardolph? Page. He's gone into Smithfield, to buy your worship a horse. Fal. I bought him in Paul's, and he'll buy me a horse in Smithfield: an I could get me but a wife in the stews, I were manned, horsed, and wived. Fal. It hath its original from much grief; from study, and perturbation of the brain: I have read the cause of his effects in Galean; it is a kind of deafness. Ch. Just. I think, you are fallen into the disease; for you hear not what I say to you. Fal. Very well, my lord, very well: rather, an't please you, it is the disease of not listening, the malady of not marking, that I am troubled Enter the Lord Chief Justice, and an Attendant. Page. Sir, here comes the nobleman that com-withal. mitted the prince for striking him about Bar- Ch. Just. To punish you by the heels, would Fal. Wait close, I will not see him. [dolph. amend the attention of your ears; and I care Ch. Just. What's he that goes there? not, if I do become your physician. Atten. Falstaff, an't please your lordship. Fal. I am as poor as Job, my lord; but not so Ch. Just. He that was in question for the rob-patient: your lordship may minister the potion bery? of imprisonment to me, in respect of poverty; Atten. He, my lord: but he hath since done but how I should be your patient to follow your good service at Shrewsbury; and, as I hear, is prescriptions, the wise may make some dram now going with some charge to the lord John of a scruple, or, indeed, a scruple itself. of Lancaster. Ch. Just. I sent for you, when there were matters against you for your life, to come speak with me. Ch. Just. What, to York? Call him back again. Fal. What! a young knave, and beg! Is there not wars? is there not employment? Doth not the king lack subjects? do not the rebels need soldiers? Though it be a shame to be on any side but one, it is worse shame to beg than to be on the worst side, were it worse than the name of rebellion can tell how to make it. Atten. You mistake me, sir. Fal. As I was then advised by my learned counsel in the laws of this land-service, I did not come. Ch. Just. Well, the truth is, Sir John, you live in great infamy. [live in less. Fal. He that buckles him in my belt, cannot Ch. Just. Your means are very slender, and your waste is great. Fal. I would it were otherwise; I would any means were greater, and my waist slenderer. Ch. Just. You have misled the youthful prince. Fal. The young prince hath misled me: I am the fellow with the great belly, and he my dog. Ch. Just. Well, I am loath to gall a new-healed Fal. Why, sir, did I say you were an honest wound; your day's service at Shrewsbury hath man? setting my knighthood and my soldiership a little gilded over your night's exploit on Gad'saside, I had lied in my throat if I had said so." Atten. I pray you, sir, then set your knight-quiet hood and your soldiership aside; and give me leave to tell you, you lie in your throat, if you say I am any other than an honest man. Fal. I give thee leave to tell me so! I lay aside that which grows to me! If thou get'st any leave of me, hang me; if thou takest leave, thou wert better be hanged; You hunt counter, hence! avaunt! hill: you may thank the unquiet time for your Ch. Just. But since all is well, keep it so: wake not a sleeping wolf. Fal. To wake a wolf, is as bad as to smell a fox. Ch. Just. What! you are as a candle, the better part burnt out. Fal. A wassel candle, my lord; all tallow: if I did say of wax, my growth would approve the truth. Ch. Just. There is not a white hair on your Atten. Sir, my lord would speak with you. Ch. Just. Sir John Falstaff, a word with you. Fal. My good lord!—God give your lordship good time of day. I am glad to see your lordship abroad: I heard say, your lordship was sick: I hope, your lordship goes abroad by ad-down, like his ill angel. vice. Your lordship, though not clean past your Fal. Not so, my lord; your ill angel is light; youth, hath yet some smack of age in you, some relish of the saltness of time; and I most humbly beseech your lordship, to have a reverend care of your health. Ch. Just. Sir John, I sent for you before your expedition to Shrewsbury. Fal. An't please your lordship, I hear his majesty is returned with some discomfort from Wales. Ch. Just. I talk not of his majesty:-You would not come when I sent for you. Fal. And I hear moreover, his highness is fallen into this same whoreson apoplexy. Ch. Just. Well, heaven mend him! I pray, let me speak with you. Fal. This apoplexy is as I take it, a kind of but, I hope, he that looks upon me, will take me without weighing: and yet, in some respects, I grant, I cannot go, I cannot tell: Virtue is of so little regard in these coster-monger times, that true valour is turned bear-herd: Pregnancy is made a tapster, and hath his quick wit wasted in giving reckonings: all the other gifts appertinent to man, as the malice of this age shapes them, are not worth a gooseberry. You, that are old, consider not the capacities of us that are young: you measure the heat of our livers with the bitterness of your galls: and we that are in the vaward of our youth, I must confess, are wags too. Ch. Just. Do you set down your name in the scroll of youth, that are written down old with all the characters of age? Have you not a moist | no matter, if I do halt: I have the wars for my eye? a dry hand? a yellow cheek? a white colour, and my pension shall seem the more beard? a decreasing leg? an increasing belly? reasonable: A good wit will make use of any Is not your voice broken? your wind short? thing; I will turn diseases to commodity. your chin double? your wit single? and every part about you blasted with antiquity? and will you yet call yourself young? Fye, fye, fye, Sir John! Fal. My lord, I was born about three of the clock in the afternoon, with a white head, and something a round belly. For my voice,-I have lost it with hollaing, and singing of anthems. To approve my youth further, I will not: the truth is, I am only old in judgment and understanding: and he that will caper with me for a thousand marks, let him lend me the money, and have at him. For the box o' the ear that the prince gave you, he gave it like a rude prince, and you took it like a sensible lord. I have checked him for it; and the young lion repents; marry, not in ashes, and sackcloth: but in new silk and old sack. Ch. Just. Well, heaven send the prince a better companion! Fal. Heaven send the companion a better prince! I cannot rid my hands of him. Ch. Just. Well, the king hath served you and Prince Harry: I hear, you are going with lord John of Lancaster, against the archbishop, and the earl of Northumberland. Fal. Yea: I thank your pretty sweet wit for it. But look you pray, all you that kiss my lady peace at home, that our armies join not in a hot day! for, by the Lord, I take but two shirts out with me, and I mean not to sweat extraordinarily: if it be a hot day, an I brandish any thing but my bottle, I would I might never spit white again. There is not a dangerous action can peep out his head, but I am thrust upon it: Well, I cannot last ever: But it was always yet the trick of our English nation, if they have a good thing, to make it too common. If you will needs say, I am an old man, you should give me rest. I would to God, my name were not so terrible to the enemy as it is. I were better to be eaten to death with rust, than to be scoured to nothing with perpetual motion. Ch. Just. Well, he honest, be honest: And God bless your expedition! Fal. Will your lordship lend me a thousand pound, to furnish me forth? Ch. Just. Not a penny, not a penny; you are too impatient to bear crosses. Fare you well: Commend me to my cousin Westmoreland. [Exeunt Chief Justice and Attendant. Fal. If I do, fillip me with a three-man beetle. -A man can no more separate age and covetousness, than he can part young limbs and lechery: but the gout galls the one, and the pox pinches the other: and so both the degrees prevent my curses.-Boy! Page. Sir? SCENE III. York. [Exit. A Room in the Archbishop's Palace. known our means; And, my most noble friends, I pray you all, Mowb. I well allow the occasion of our arms; Hast. Our present musters grow upon the file Bard. The question then, Lord Hastings, Whether our present five and twenty thousand Bard. Ay, marry, there's the point: Eating the air on promise of supply, Hast. But, by your leave, it never yet did hurt, Bard. Yes, in this present quality of war:- We first survey the plot, then draw the model; And when we see the figure of the house, Then must we rate the cost of the erection: Which if we find outweighs ability, What do we then, but draw anew the model Fal. What money is in my purse? In fewer offices; or, at least, desist Page. Seven groats and two-pence. To build at all? Much more, in this great work Fal. I can get no remedy against this con- (Which is, almost, to pluck a kingdom down, sumption of the purse: borrowing only lingers And set another up,) should we survey and lingers it out, but the disease is incurable. The plot of situation, and the model; Go bear this letter to my lord of Lancaster; this Consent upon a sure foundation; to the prince; this to the earl of Westmoreland; Question surveyors; know our own estate, and this to old mistress Ursula, whom I have How able such a work to undergo, weekly sworn to marry since I perceived the To weigh against his opposite; or else, first white hair on my chin: About it; you know We fortify in paper, and in figures, where to find me. [Exit Page.] A pox of this Using the names of men instead of men: gout! or, a gout of this pox! for the one, or the Like one, that draws the model of a house other, plays the rogue with my great toe. It is Beyond his power to build it; who, half through, |