8:15-OPENING CHORUS: "We're the Leaders of Society." 8:25-Loud explosion off-stage right, indicative of blowing-up of an automobile. Enter comedian: "You 're an odd fellow!" "No, I'm a Mystic Shriner." "Do you like champagne?" "No, it tastes as if your foot was asleep." 8:40-SONG: "Underneath the syncopated moon." 8:52 "Why don't you brush your hair?" "Which one?" "Why take your wife to Paris? It's like taking a ham sandwich to a banquet." 9:05-SONG: You can talk about your Paris streets CHORUS: Dear old Broadway, that 's the place for me; Where skies are blue and girls are true, 't is there that I would be. There's always a friend to help you spend the hours that quickly fly, For I was born on Broadway, and it 's there I'll live and die. I've roamed the foreign avenues Of Europe night and day; CHORUS [With fine feeling]: Chorus-girls take ends of colored ribbons, and are driven off like ponies by chorus-men in gray Prince Alberts. 9:20 "Have you ever seen Yonkers?" No, what are Yonkers?" "Thank you for your photograph; I will always wear it next to my heart." [Places photograph in his hip pocket.] 9:35-SONG: "When little old New Amsterdam was new": In little old New Amsterdam, before New The folks found life a most attractive They had no fiendish chauffeurs who would fail to toot their horn, And make one dodge a taxi for the last time. They had no "six best sellers," with the accent on the sex; No restaurants where no one ever rested: No "extras" full of murder trials and matrimonial wrecks; In short, their days were almost unmolested. "Votes for Women," the slowness of Philadelphia, colored wigs, "white slave dramas," and others; the last of them being a very serious and very lugubrious stanza celebrating the Panama Canal, "Old Glory," and Theodore Roosevelt. Chorus-girls dance off in solid line, last girl, upon reaching wings, kicking her right foot out at audience. 9:42 "I thought you were well off before you were married.” "I was; but I did n't know it." "Your sister Mary is fat, ain't she?" "Yes, but I've got a sister Lena.' 9:50-Leading lady, in pink décolleté, plays violin on darkened stage. SONG [Tempo di Vienna]: When the heavens are swaying to mystical. With never a note that is false; rarest, For that is the hour of the waltz. When music is thrilling and all hearts are filling With rapture and breathless romance, With your hand in mine, dear, and while your eyes shine, dear, Let love guide your steps in the dance. CHORUS [Softly, languorously]: Dance with me, dance with me, darling, Farewell to sorrow, heed not to-morrow, They never knew the subway's long delay; Your glances so tender have made me CHORUS: When little old New Amsterdam was new (was new), The people had a peaceful hour or two (or two); They had no fool fandangos, When little old New Amsterdam was new. There now follow thirteen more verses, ridiculing the current fashions, Tammany Hall, eugenics, the situation in Mexico, marital fidelity, William Jennings Bryan, surrender— Dance with me, dance with me, dear! 10:30-"Is your brother still alive?" "No, he lives in New Rochelle." "Where is Signor Bombastino?" "He must be in the dining-room; I hear somebody eating soup." 10:42-SONG: "Tell me." [Sung by the blonde ingénue in a white lingerie dress.] Tell me, little brook that flows, Tell me, proud and blushing rose; Tell me, lakes that laugh and shine, CHORUS [Slowly and far too sentimentally]: Tell me, ah, tell me, 'neath a magic moon Tell me, ah, tell me, while the month is June; Whisper low the secret, soft as falling dew, Tell me, ah, tell me is my loved one true? Tell me, perfume-laden breeze, Tell me, flowers that fade; CHORUS [Slower, and even more |