HEY were lying off the town of and I was young thin, and I knew a their cargo to come down from the back country, and one night the crew had gathered on the forecastle-deck. It was hot, and the crew were listless, and in silence they smoked and idly watched the lights. of the town shimmering across the still water. Then out of the darkness Kerrigan spoke: ""T is little I know of steam, and less care, but I was the admiral of a steamfleet wance, and right here on this coast, though knowun' no more the juties of thim native admirals than 't is expectud of thim to get captured. And I done ut, and by me fri'nds. 'T was a glorious victhory. Wance I saw a gutter of a gr-reat city run red wid-paint, and shtrong min and women fainted at the dreadful sight. 'T was thot kind of a victhory. 'T would have made ye think of the drop-curtain of a tin-cint theayter-rale like thot. "'T was at Bluefields, up the coast, and there was war and bloody rivolution. The Gonzalez party was wan, and the Gomez party anither, wid a dozen little parties in between thot wint fir-rist wid Gonzalez and thin wid Gomez, but fightun' always among thimsilves. And in the harbor was the Gonzalez navy, three owld side-wheel tugboats, for the Gonzalez ar-rmy just thin held the city. And they placed an embargo on us, which m'anes if ye was there, ye had to shtay, and if ye was not there, ye c'u'd n't come in for love or money. And we was there in an owld English brig. "The owld mon was careful of us, and mostly kept us aboard, tuckun' us in iv'ry night, in a way of speakun', to see we was there. And sometimes we was n't, and thin he 'd have a blue fit, thinkun' we'd get mixed up ashore wid thim rivolutioners and bring on an international complication. And I was wan. And this is the way it happened. "I was born wid a wandherun' foot, ashore, m'anes, as the song says, that shtone walls don't mak' a prison nor ir-ron bars keep a la-ad in the cage whin he wa-ants to see a gyr-rl in the nixt street; and so the owld mon c'u'd n't keep me from goun' over the back fince of the brig. She was a señorita, the gyr-rl, and she c'u'd n't speak wan wor-rd of me language, nor I wan of hers; but her eyes knew the whole international code of lovesignals, which was enough for me sailun' ordhers. We did n't need annything more. "'T was a Sathurday night, and the nixt day a fiesta, and thinks I, I'll tak' an airly start for the fun of the marnun', as the owld mon would be on the watch for me later; so I hired a shmall Dago la-ad to row off for me wid a boat at midnight. 'T was the rainy s'ason, and goun' and comun' surrep'tious like thot, I'd bought me a long, blue cloak, partly to keep me dry and partly to mak' me look like wan of thim high-born dons whin ashore. I'd pull the big collar up over me face, and drop me nose in ut, and shtalk along shtately-like. And sometimes it desaved thim. But wance it did n't. "The la-ad come for me afther a bit, and found me roostun' on the bobstay, tryun' to keep me tail-feathers (which was me long cloak) out of the wather, and he rowed me ashore, and I slept in a storage shed by the landun' till 't was time for me breakfast, and thin sallied forth, as they say, for the señorita's. "Well, we'll pass over the day, as 't was not histhory, and come to the night, whin I meandered down to the watherside to find me b'y to tak' me back to the brig. The night ut was black as a nigger's pockut, and rainun' gentle, wid a fog ye c'u'd cut wid an ax. Why, la-ads, ye c'u'd lean against ut and not fall, and ye had to kick a chunk out of ut before ye c'u'd tak' a step. 'T was thick like thot, a gr-reat fog. "The la-ad was waitun' for me, asleep in the shed, and we rowed away from the shore. 'Twas tin o'clock whin we shtartud; for I shtartud airly, knowun' the owld mon w'u'd be waitun' for me wid a brick, and I did n't want to spoil his temper by keepun' him out in the wet too long, and ut was twelve by the cathedral clock whin we 'd come to nothun' at all in thot murk. Where we'd been I don't know. Thin all at wance we bumped hard. And we bumped at the stern., "Me la-ad give a squeal, and me a grunt, wid me fallun' back wid the shock, and some wan co't me by the head. And fir-rst I thought 't was to save me, and thin I thought 't was not; for they would n't let go and they pawed me face shameful'. And all the whilst me scaired la-ad was a-rowun' for dear life, and me grippun' the boat wid me hands and legs to keep from shlippun' over the stern into the wather. I tried to yell out, but they had me by the throat, chokun' me wind off, and me hands was in use, as I told ye, and I c'u'd n't shtrike back. Thin some wan lit a blue match. And ut told thim (and me) who I was. 66 'Hola! 't is the Americano capitanthe admiral!' yells soft-like wan of thim holdun' me head. And he told me b'y to shtop rowun', and held me gentle till he done ut. ""Pardon, Señor Admiral, for the rough handlun',' says he in a whisper in English. 'We did n't know ye. We waitud for ye ashore, and ye did n't come, so was goun' widout ye. 'Tis the last chance,' "And 't was news to me, so I kept shtill, and they asked me polite' to get into their boat, and I did, and they rowed on. And him thot spoke English said: 66 'There'll be no fight at prisent,' says he, 'for all but our secrut fri'nds has gone ashore to the fiesta.' ""Thot 's good,' says I, 'for ut 's a bad night for fightun'. 'T is as likely as not ye 'd be battun' your mither over the head by misthake in the murk,' says I, rememberun' his hand on me windpipe. "And they rowed on soft' to where they was goun', and they did n't find ut; and thin I grew sleepy, and thin me fri'nd says, 'Hist! the signal!' And I looked up and saw a blue light swingun' close to the wather. And we rowed to ut, and 't was undher the guards of wan of thim tugboat war-ships I told ye about. And so I knew what was up: I was a Gomez mon, engaged to help rob the Gonzalez hen-roost of his navy. And there was no fight, as the mon said; 't was a collusion. All the faithful Gonzalez min were ashore, and only the Gomez spies shtayed on juty, to hand the fleet over to us, which proves the sayun' that virtue 's its own reward, for thim virtuous wans escaped trouble. But not us. "Well, we wint over the rail, wid a reciption committee of half a dozen grinnun' little min waitun' for us on the deck, and they tuk us across ut and over the starboard rail, and thin over anither, and says I: 'What is ut? A hurdle-race? we goun' to climb rails all the night?' "And me fri'nd says: Are "T is to get to the flag-ship. They 've got the three war-ships lashed side by side, to concinthrate our forces.' "And where are we goun'?' says I. And says he: 'What, did n't they tell ye? We're goun' five miles down the coast to pick up our crew, and thin we 'll come back and shtorm the city,' says he. "And I looked dubious' at the fog. 'Have ye a pilot?' says I. ""The best,' says he, and he called him. And we three wint up to the wheel-house of the middle tugboat, which they called the flag-ship, and says I to mesilf: Ut's a "'Ut's a lar-rk; thim bir-rds fly by night. I'll accipt the position. long time I'd shtayed in the forecastle of thot English brig before gettun' to be admiral.' And I wondhered where the rale admiral was. "Well, we got out a chart, and says the pilot, wid me fri'nd interpretun' for me: "T is an aisy course. 'T is mostly southaste till ye come to shoal wather, and thin ut's due aste till ye 're outside, and thin all plain sailun' down the coast to where we 're goun',' says he. 'We'll shtart at wance, thin,' says I, takun' command. And we stationed our min mostly as lookouts on the fleet, and we sint the pilot forward wid a mon to heave the lead, and I putt me fri'nd at the wheel. He was a captain, ut seems. Thin we shlipped our cables and shtartud. "And we did n't shtart, for among thim spies there was wan or two who were so fond of the game that they'd changed back to the ither party wance more, and had putt out our fires and gone off in a boat. And we 'd shlipped our cables, and so of course driftud; but no wan knew how the tide was runnun', and there was no wind, so where we was driftun' we did n't know anny more than a blind cow. Thin me and me fri'nd driftud down to the engine-room of the flag-ship on the jump to ordher up steam again. And before we 'd got ut, down comes the pilot to say he 'd lost his point of departure wid the driftun' and would throw up his job. So I putt him in ir-rons. "I'll tak' me own point of departure,' says I, and wint back to the wheelhouse to do ut. And I did. "I had n't looked at the compass before, so I did n't know how the fleet had been headed, but I shtartud at quarther speed and sint the fleet straight ahead for a bit for good measure. "If we 've driftud astern, we 'll get back to where we shtartud from-approximately,' says I, 'and thin we 'll tak' the pilot's course; but if the fleet don't know anny more nor we where ut is, and has turned a bit, we 'll find ut out soon enough. So here goes.' Thin I shteered southaste. "I shteered southaste for three minut's, and thin we bumped har-rd. Mither of Saints! Ye'd thought we 'd fetched up in the middle of Parus by the hullybaloo thim monseers shtartud undher our bows. Thim Frinchmin has the shtrong lungs. 66 'Thot 's betther,' says I as I rang the bell to go astern; 'I 've got me bearun's now. Thot's the Frinch barque lyun' off the custhom-house. A minut' more, and we'd paid our respicts to the custhomhouse utsilf. "T is the unnicessary politeniss.' "And I backed off, and shtartud wance more, and just to keep the time from hangun' heavy on our hands, in the nixt tin minut's thim war-ships scraped along the side of wan vessel and carried away the jibboom of anither. 'T was a fair exchange, for ut tuk the wheel-house and shmokestack of our port war-ship wid ut, wid wan of thim Dagoes thrown in for good measure. You c'u'd hear him yelpun' astern for the nixt half-hour. Ye 'd have thought he was lonesome. 'But we was n't. By the time we 'd fouled iv'ry last craft in the fairway, ut was like beun' lost on Coney Island of a Sathurday night; for thim fog-horns was tootun' their heads off, wid flares a-prickun' little orange dots in the fog and min a-yellun' for us to keep off. And thin the town woke up and began to tak' notus, wid guns a-firun' and drums a-beatun' to quarthers. "And thin we bumped har-rd into anither craft, and I heard me own owld mon a-roarun' on the deck. And 't was the last shtraw. 'How in the divil c'u'd he be southaste of thot Frinchmon?' says I as I backed away. 'He was due north last night. The harbor 's bewitched.' "And I looked har-rd at thot compass, and gave ut a jab wid me fist, and out dropped an ir-ron spike. And the needle of the compass swung twinty-nine points around, and did n't shtay shtill even thin, but wobbled about like a duck thot did n't know the way home. And I knew 't was thim spies thot had done ut. They 're the bright wans. "And I looked again to find the ir-ron thot was seducun' thot needle out of uts course, and I did n't find ut; so I ups wid me foot and smashed the compass to flinders. "'Dom ye!' says I, 'I 'll shteer by the light of nashur, thin,' and beun' at the ind of me skill, tried luck, and so rang the bell to go ahead at full speed. "And we did n't; we only kept backun' away, accordun' to me last ordher. "I think thim min in the engine-room have taken to the boats,' says me fri'nd. 'I'll go down and investhigate,' says he. And he wint in a hurry, and 't was the last time I iver saw him. 'And afther a bit, whin he did n't come back, I putt the wheel har-rd aport, thinkun' the fleet w'u'd be longer in gettun' to where ut wantud to go if ut wint in circles, and mesilf wint down to the lower deck to shlip over the side at the fir-rst shtoppun'-place. And the fir-rst shtoppun'-place was the last, and ut was undher wather; for all at wance we grounded har-rd, and thin stuck fast, wid the propeller churnun' away in the mud as if nothun' had happened at all. So I run down to the engine-room and shut off the steam, thinkun' we'd had too much attintion alriddy for a private rehearsal. "There was n't a soul aboar-rd the whole fleet, nor a boat left, and I was no shwimmer, havun' been born in a barony thot, excipt for the usquebaugh, was as dry as the back of your hand. And where would I be shwimmun' to, annyway, whin I did n't know where I was shtartun' from? So I shtayed where I was till there was more light. "I got ut at tin the nixt marnun', whin all at wance the sun burned the fog away, and there was me fine fleet run home to uts mither, ye might say, right undher the walls of the fort, and ut shwarmun' wid the Gonzalez ar-rmy. And I looked slyly out of a port-hole, and there on top of the fort was a long line of the heads of thim soldiers, and a-starun' down at the fleet as if they wantud to be introduced, but was too bashful to do more than peek around the corner of the house. And I shtepped over to the ither side of me flagship, and there was a long jetty, and ut was lined along the tops of the rocks wid heads, too, and watchun' the fleet in the same way. " 'I 'm in a hole,' says I to mesilf, 'but I'll seem not to know ut.' And wid thot I walked out to the deck and looked up at the fort bowld-like. "And whin thim brave soldiers seen me, the whole line of thim ducked behint the wall of the fort as if I'd been a rapidfire gun aimed at thim. ""Thot 's queer,' says I to mesilf. 'Are we playun' the game of I-spy?' And I called to thim to come down and tak' their fleet off of me hands. "And at thot their heads bobbed up again, and afther we 'd parleyed a bit in two languages thot nayther parthy undherstood at all, down comes two fine officers to the causeway in front of the fort. And they knew English, and they asked me nervous-like what I wantud, as if they thought I wantud too much, and they towld me to tak' the fleet away. And I was mad. "And why should I tak' ut away?' says I. 'Come and get ut, and tak' me off.' "Ut came to me thin all at wance what ailed thim to be hidun' behint the walls in the way I towld ye: they thought 't was a plot to blow the fort up, wid me a-ridun' to glory on the pinnacle of a fir-rst-class ixplosion. And I roared; but ut made me mind aisier and belikes a bit over-bowld. ''Do I look like wan of your pathriots?' says I, scornful. 'And is ut strange business thot I want me salvage-money afther bringun' the fleet in whilst direlict on the high seas?' "So afther a bit they tuk me off, and cartud me in to the commandant of the fort. And I towld him the same tale, and demanded to be taken to the British consul. And afther a bit wan officer and two min tuk me to the consul undher guard. 'T is there I made a misthake. In common sinse I sh'u'd have tipped the three into the harbor as we wint along the causeway, and thin tuk to me heels; but I 'd lost me head dreamun' of salvage-money, and so wint wid thim peaceful', like a lamb to the slaughter, as they say. "Thot consul was a fine mon. He heard me expurgatud shtory in a room alone, and thin says he: 'Where did ye find the fleet?' 'Where?' says I. 'Did ye shtick your nose out of the door last night? If ye did, ye'd know that no wan but God knows where I found the fleet. The fog was like cheese. But the fleet was cavortun' through ut, breathun' fire and destruction to all, fri'nd and foe, and single-handed I brought ut back safe to uts fri'nds, undher the walls of the fort.' "And he rubbed his chin wid his hand thoughtful' and said: "T is a queer tale,' says he. "And thim officers looked at ache ither, kee?' and wan of thim said: ""The señor is anxious,' says he. 'He will wait where he is outside till we know ""Thim points is well taken,' says he. 'I'll inquire into the matther.' And I wint back to the guard-house in the fort, only now there was a whole squad of soldiers to tak' me. "And at the fort they had the pilot I'd putt in ir-rons and half a dozen of thim spies on the fleet to swear to me indenthity. And they swore to ut. And thim officials decidud thot I was William J. Stanton, a Yankee; and what was more to the point, they decidud thot I was to be shot on the nixt Sunday marnun' for tryun' to dishrupt a fri'ndly counthry. They 're the gr-reat wans down here for takun' their pleasure on Sunday. "'T was along about the sicond day of me incarceration thot they shoved a young mon into me lonely cell and thin wint away; and he looked at me har-rd and thin grinned. He was a fine, tall young felly, and well set up, wid a divilmay-care eye. And, as I said, he looked at me and grinned. fog thot had landud me in his shoes and name. But some wan who had seen him wid Gomez had spottud him the nixt day, and now we were to be shot together, two bir-rds wid wan shtone, ye might say. "Well, the American consul and me fri'nd the English consul got busy. The American wan was a bit of a lawyer back home, and says he to thim señors: "Can two min be punished for the same offinse, whin wan did n't do ut at all, and the ither has been indictud falsely undher the name of the fir-rst? 'T is conthrary to the sinse of justice of the nations and to the code. The whole wor-rld will shtand aghast,' says he. "'We shtand aghast oursilves,' said the señors; 'but war is a terrible thing-so terrible thot ut is nicessary to tak' some slight liberthy wid the law. The executions will tak' place at the hour and place. "And do I look like thot?' says he, appointud.' eying me up and down slow-like. "If ye do, ye look like a handsomer mon than even your mither ever thought ye to be-and a betther wan,' says I. 'And why, in hiven's name, did they putt your nose on crooked like thot?' says I, just to keep the ball of reparthee a-rollun'. "And he laughed, and rubbed his nose thoughtful'. "'Ye can't help the things thot are putt on ye,' says he; 'and by the same token,' says he, 'how do ye like me name, which they 've putt on ye, I hear?' "'Are ye William J. Stanton, the Yankee?' says I, wondherun'-like. "So me father and mither have always given me to understand,' says he. 'Tis a good name.' "'Ye can have ut back, and welcome,' says I. "'Ut covers a multitude of sins-yours and mine,' says he; 'for we 're in the same boat.' And thin he explained. "He'd been a midshipmon in the United Shtates navy, ut seems, but had found ut too slow for his taste, and so afther a bit had wandhered down to these parts, lookun' for trouble. And comun' across Gomez down the coast, he had offered his services to him, and had been made admiral of the fleet of the counthry. Thot Gonzalez thin held the counthry meant nothun' to the b'y; he 'd have all the more fun gettun' ut. Comun' up to the town overland, he had been lost in the "Thot was wan day, and on the nixt the consuls wint about on a new tack. They brought ashore all the captains of the vessels me fleet had fouled thot night, and marched thim up to the señors wid claims for damages as long as your ar-rm. And the consuls said thot I w'u'd be needud as a witness thot the damage had been done by the fleet, and if the witness was tampered wid, the navies of their counthries w'u'd know the r'ason why. And to show thim thot he meant ut, the English consul tilegraphed to Jamaica for a war-ship at wance. And thim señors looked thoughtful, and said they 'd consider the matther. And thot was the third day. "And the fourth day nothun' happened at all, and me and me fri'nd William J. Stanton began to wondher if thim señors w'u'd putt off thinkun' till 't was too late. They 're the gr-reat wans for puttun' off things down here. But sometimes they do thim too soon. "'T w'u'd be like thim to shoot us on Friday, and think of ut aftherwards. And the fifth day passed the same way, wid no wor-rd. "Thin along about dar-rk on Sathurday in comes wan of thim officers who spake English, and he set down on me cot as if he 'd come to spind the day. But prisently he asked how we was, and I towld him poorly, and I had me doubts I 'd keep me hilth long in their climate. And he looked at me sharp. |