The Speaker

Slap Him On the Back

BY JAMES WHITCOMB RILEY.

If you should meet

unfurled,

fellow-man with trouble's flag

An' lookin' like he didn't have a friend in all the world, Go up and slap him on the back, and holler, "How d' you do?"

And grasp his hand so warm he'll know he has a friend

in you.

Then ask what's hurtin' him, and laugh his cares away, And tell him that the darkest night is just before the day. Don't talk in graveyard palaver, but say it right out loud That God will sprinkle sunshine in the trail of every cloud.

This world at best is but a hash of pleasure and of pain,— Some days are bright and sunny, and some all splashed with rain,—

And that's just how it ought to be, for when the clouds

roll by

We'll know just how to 'preciate the bright and smiling

sky.

So learn to take it as it comes, and don't sweat at the

pores

Because the Lord's opinion dosn't coincide with yours; But always keep rememberin', when cares your path enshroud,

That God has lots of sunshine to spill behind the cloud.

Concerning George

They tell us that George Washington
Could never tell a lie;

In which respect George Washington
Was unlike you and I.

But if 'tis true he couldn't lie—

And lots of folks have said it-
Why should he for his truthful ways
Be given so much credit?

Now, here are we, and unlike George,
We can tell awful whoppers;

We can spin fairy tales galore
Unto our moms and poppers.
But we do not-and so we claim
George simply isn't in it

With modern boys and modern girls,
Not for a single minute.

He couldn't tell a single lie

With accent on the couldn't."
Now, we could always tell a lie,
But, then, we simply wouldn't.
Now, honest Injun, don't you think
Our praise you should be singing,
Instead of always boosting George
And that old chestnut ringing?

The Universal Habit*

BY STRICKLAND W. GILLILAN.

I saw her go shopping in stylish attire,

And she felt

Of her belt

At the back.

Her step was as free as a springy steel wire,
And many a rubberneck turned to admire

As she felt

Of her belt

At the back.

She wondered if all those contraptions there
Were fastened just right-'twas her unceasing care;

So she felt

Of her belt

At the back.

* From "Including Finnigan." Copyright, 1908, by Strickland W. Gillilan. Pearson Brothers, Publishers.

I saw her at church as she entered her pew,

And she felt

Of her belt

At the back.

She had on a skirt that was rustly and new,
And didn't quite know what the fast'nings might do;
So she felt

Of her belt

At the back.

She fidgeted 'round while the first hymn was read;
She fumbled about while the first prayer was said.
Oh, she felt

Of her belt

At the back.

Jack told her one night that he loved her like mad,

And she felt

For her belt

At the back.

She didn't look sorry, she didn't look glad;

Just looked like she thought: "Well, that wasn't' so bad!" As she felt

For her belt

At the back.

And-well, I don't think 'twas a great deal of harm, For what should the maiden have found but Jack's arm, When she felt

For her belt

At the back?

Additional List of Encores

The following encores have been printed in The Speaker. The figure after the title indicates the number of The Speaker in which the selection will be found:

The Cushville Hop. Ben King

...

The Shave-store.

Edmund Vance Cooke.

The Moo-Cow-Moo. E. V. Cooke...
A Summer Lullaby. E. S. Bumstead.
Santa Claus

The Owl and the Pussy Cat. E. Lear.
Po' Little Lamb. Paul T. Dunbar.
Little Brown Baby. Paul T. Dunbar.
Imph-m. Jas. Nichelson..

The Usual Way. F. E. Weatherly.
Jane Jones. Ben King...

What He Got Out of It. S. E. Kiser.
The Stirrup Cup. Sidney Lanier.
Truth in Parenthesis. Thos. Hood.
I Want to Go to Morrow.
Don't You? E. V. Cooke..

The Cornet. O. W. Holmes..

Da 'Mericana Girl. T. A. Daly...
Maloney's St. Patrick's Day Hat.

At Dancing School

The Old Boys in the Dance. F. L. Stanton..

A Nautical Extravagance. W. Irwin.

Little Girl of Gettysburg. H. Tyrrell..
Laddie. Chas. Sibley...

Rock-a-by-Land. E. A. Brininstool.

A Dance at the Ranch.

The Pretty Maid of Kissimmee. Benton..
Vas Marriage a Failure? C. F. Adams..
When the Gravy's On the Buckwheat. Kiser.
Finnigan to Flannigan. S. W. Gillilan
The Lost Sealer. Browning.

...

When Paw Was a Boy. S. E. Kiser.

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