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was Benjamin Bejoram sailed

The airship Buzzard Queen;
Its run was 'Frisco and New York;

Its color, clover green.
The boldest man was Skipper Ben,

Who such vocation dares;
But though he cruised the atmosphere,

It never gave him airs.
Now westward bound, o'er Kansas State,

The good ship swept along;
The skipper smoked a stogie stout
And hummed a little

When right ahead a frightful cloud

Came rolling into view.
"Oh, let us luff our steering-vane!”

Besought the startled crew.
But Skipper Ben rebuked with: "Fie!

Ye chicken-hearts, avaunt!
There lifts not any cloud in sky

The Buzzard Queen can daunt.” So slickers donned now every man,

As drove the vessel on;

The skipper not one jot he veered

From that dread portent yon. Till suddenly they saw too late

With what that portent swarmed:
This mighty cloud which spread before

Of grasshoppers was formed !
The Buzzard Queen enveloped was

In less time than I tell,
As thick upon her green expanse

Those hungry 'hoppers fell!
And by a hundred thousand jaws

Thus greedily beset, The Buzzard Queen, and crew, and all,

Here in mid-air were et! The mangled remnants dropped to earth,

A shower of steel and bones
(And killed a yellow Kansas dog

Belonging to one Jones).
And this the end encountered by

The airship Buzzard Queen;
Remember, skippers, and avoid

That fatal color, green.





Within the shadow of the sail,

I and my love sit nigh. “Dear one, () dearest one," I say

"Duck!" comes the captain's cry. A moment more, I feel secure,

I will my heart speak out: “Dear one, O dearest one," I say

“Duck!" comes the captain's shout. I try a thousand times and one

My heart's true love to tell; Each time, oh, curses on that sail “Duck!" comes the captain's yell.

A new house seemed the natural thing

When John had made his modest pile. So first we wrote an endless string

Of "must haves.” Then we studied style.

John favored shingles. I love tile
For roofs, but John thinks plaster 's cold,

And brick 's too stubborn. So I smile.
"I think we 'd better stand the old.”
Nan likes colonial, with a wing,

Tom saw a villa on the Nile"A corker!” he declares. I cling

To baths and sleeping porches, while

John 's firm for fireplaces. Oh, I 'll
Be bound no house will ever hold

The things we want! Though we revile,
I think we 'd better stand the old.
Our lot 's unbought; we 're balancing

'Twixt hill and valley sites. "A mile From town,” rules John, “where birds will

A pool, a pergola, a dial."

For me the city has its wile.
Who 'd think such problems would unfold!

Well, though it is a daily trial,
I think we 'd better stand the old.



I HAVE stolen a look
In the sibyl's book,
I have seen the back of a star,
The panther sleek
I have heard her speak,
I have slept in the jinnee's jar,
In the sweet-pea's snood
I have honey brewed,
On the python ridden to war,
I have fetched the spring
On the blue-bird's wing-
Oh, my magic goes long and far;
But I 'm all o'erthrown
By the charm you own
And the magical thing you are!

Friend, do not trust (put this on file)

Your dream to wood or stone; untold
The snares that builders' steps beguile:

You 'd far, far better stand the old.



(Scene: A suburban parlor. The visitor rises.)

“And now I must go, for I have n't forgot- but this time I thought I would, and the ten that you have a sewing-woman this consequence was that it was a perfect botch. morning, which means that you have n't a I did succeed, it is true, in getting a piece for minute to spare; for my experience is that the sleeve that was remarkably like, considthey are all alike and liable to make the ering it was entirely different, -plain roses most ridiculous mistakes if you leave them instead of moss, and another background alone for a second, and even if you don't, altogether-so much so that everybody that which I never do myself in any circum- I apologized to for it said they had n't nostances. As for cutting every single, solitary ticed it, which was very gratifying, of course; trouser leg for the same side, they make a but I never could bear the dress myself, and practice of it, which is a comparatively neither could my husband, though I 'm sure small matter if you can match the goods- I don't know why, and I doubt if he did. though of course it 's always as provoking "You know how men are; they take such as it can be; but once I had the sweetest unreasonable likes and dislikes! It certainly Howered organdie ruined that war-pink was n't the sleeve with him, for if the whole moss-roses climbing on sort of porch pillars dress had been different he would n't have in gray and green on a white background - thought it mattered a particle; and he probaperfectly lovely, and it was a remnant, and bly considered the sleeve an improvement not another serap to be found, though I even, for he never could bear moss-roses, looked everywhere.

though they are a perfect passion with me, "What? Oh, for myself, of course, though and I never will be satisfied until I have a I don't often have my dresses made at home; bush of my own. I have set out fully half

He says

a dozen, and they have all died.

my family were worthy people or respectathey look like cheap china, but I believe it ble people or good, honest people, Mrs. is really an excuse because he hates so to Sykes did n't remember which; but, anyhow, bother with planting things out, and I never it was perfectly horrid, and not true at all. will dig myself, I'm so desperately afraid of Why, my fatherearthworms-fishing-worms, the children "Oh, I expect to go back where we were

last summer. My husband always leaves me the burden of choosing, -he says one place is about as bad as another,- but he does say that we might as well go to the Browns' again as fly to ills we know not of; that 's what Shakspere says, you know, and I think it 's very sensible, particularly in the case of children. They are a nice, quiet old couple: two souls with not a single thought, my husband says, but that is not so at all; I never saw better vegetables, and

"Yes, indeed—just as busy as I can be getting ready; but all next week I expect to have a sewing-woman myself, and then

"No, indeed; no time for anything. Mrs. Tompkins says supervising them is too much like Egyptian bondage for her, and she is n't going to have any more sewing done in the house except what she does herself. Her experience has been worse than mine. Miss Jinks cut an entire dress wrong side out for her and utterly

"Yes, Miss Jinks. You don't mean to say you 've got her! Why

"Oh, they would have tried turning it, of course, if turning had been any use, but it was n't, not the least in the world; she just had to make two waists of it, identically alike, which was the greatest pity, because her things are always longer wearing out than anybody's I ever saw, and those two looked liked one that was simply going to last forever; though all clothes are mortal,

of course, as I know to my cost, particularly "I'M SO DESPERATELY AFRAID OF children's stocking knees. EARTHWORMS'"

"What? Oh, the most careless I ever

saw! I do wish I could have warned you, call them. One of the very first things my

though I would n't injure Miss Jinks for little Wellington learned to say was 'fishing

the world. It is n't that she does n't know, worm.' He always said it when he wanted you understand; it is just that she does n't to be very bad, and my husband said it was put her mind on what she is doing. Even if a form of profanity, and I ought to whip you sit right by her and give her the most him for such language. But I did n't know minute directions, she has a kind of dazed whether you could really consider it lan- look, as if she was n't half taking it in. I guage, and, anyhow, I had n't the heart to would n't trust her myself with anything whip him, and as for my husband, he simply I was particular about any sooner than I laughed at him; you know men never will would my little Elizabeth; in fact, she take any responsibility. I often say I have has n't half as much common sense: but the whole management; and as for choosing then, if I do say it that should n't, that child where we will go the summer-where is really remarkable--so practical, so judiare you going, by the way? Oh, are you? cious! For instance, whenever I give her a I hear there was a very motley crowd there little money to spend for herself when she

Mrs. Baker says so; but then is out with me, instead of squandering it she is so motley herself I don't think she perfectly at random as most children do, she need talk about anybody else. But that 's always says to the man at the counter, or always the way. Do you know, she actually the woman, if it is a woman, 'What is the had the impudence to tell Mrs. Sykes that price of your ten-cent dolls?' or 'What is



Drawn by Mark Fenderson

last year.

the price of your five-cent candy?' just that "Yes, that is what I think--one of the way, and so

most valuable of all arts; for all of us do "It is very lovely of you to say so, but to sometimes have things on our handstell the truth, I do think she gets her cast of "Yes, indeed! I must bring you that mind from me; for her father is n't that piece; you would be just charmed with it. way at all. I would be the last person in Not, of course, that it shows how we our

selves can turn peanut shells and things to account, which must be done on a large scale and in regular factories; but it is so interesting and full of information about the way people do things now, so different from old times. Progress is a wonderful thing, is n't it? And so rapid! Oh, not always, of course, and not in every case-I am getting almost discouraged about Aying-machines

"Do you really? Rapid transportation is a very important thing, of course, but I can't agree with you that it is the most important. There 's education, now. Only yesterday, my little Gladys came to me and asked me to hear her say her Presidents, which I thought astonishing in a child not eight years old until the twenty-sixth of next month. It is true she said Washington, Adams, Cleveland, Indigo, and Violet, but it shows

“Oh, I don't mean at all to undervalue rapid transportation, you understand. I never lose an opportunity of riding in an automobile, though I 'm always literally scared to death, and, as I was saying, I 'm always wishing they would hurry up with the fiying-machine, which, of course

, would

be more perfectly charming still; but there #

are so many lovely inventions nowadays, and I 'm so interested in everything news

“A new latch? On the front gate? Yes, I must see it. I did n't notice it as I came in. What sort is it? That kind! Why, I got one like that ages ago! If the agent told you it was new

"No, nothing under the sun, of course, as him

Solomon says; for they say the Chinese know all about everything and always have; though of all the stupid-looking people! The simplest plan, it seems to me, would be

to go straight to them for anything anybody «•I AM GETTING ALMOST DISCOURAGED wants to invent, and get it ready-made. ABOUT FLYING-MACHINES"

Think what a lot of time it would save, and

howthe world to run him down, but, still, I must "Can't bear to think of time! Why, how say he and I are very different. Now, I strange! Though we all realize, of course, can't bear to waste anything-though, by how quickly it is passing andthe way, they do say nothing in the world is "Oh, yes, I do-often! Though I can't really wasted. I 've just been reading the say I ever get wild about it. most charming piece in the 'Ladies' Com- "Yes, indeed, I understand how that is panion'

Sometimes it seems that you positively can't “Time? Oh, I don't know; I suppose stand things that at other times you don't that 's included, but the piece was about rags mind at all. There 's everything in a pero and bones and old bottles and cigar-ends and son's mood—and the weather. I myself am peanut shells and tin cans, and things like as sensitive as a flower; the least hint of that-perfectly fascinating, showing how suggestion of a thunder-storm, for example-clever people are getting about disposing of "Why, no, indeed! Did you?

But you everything.

think it might have been thunder? And

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Drawn by Mark Fenderson

there is n't a cloud in the sky, which makes between two feather-beds; I keep them for it so much worse! You know, they say the purpose. Good-by, good-by; so glad to there 's nothing so bad as a thunderbolt have found you at home. Come to see me from a clear sky. I never saw one, but I 've really soon; any time but next week, when always had the greatest horror- Don't the sewing-woman will be there. You know think I mean to be abrupt, but I always get what that is!"

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SAID the Snail to the Tortoise : You may “Well, well!” said the Tortoise. “Dear me !
Find it hard to believe what I say ;

How defective your motor must be !
You will think it absurd,

Though I speed every day,
But I give you my word,

Not a fine do I pay :
They fined me for speeding to-day.”

The police cannot catch me, you see.”

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