Puslapio vaizdai

bors at table seem to know just what effect when Mrs. Butcher, who felt that her each and every article of food will have chalky deposits had been slighted, said she upon each and every part of their anatomy, did not care what any New York doctor and they enlighten me concerning their most said; she knew that uncooked food was bad intimate processes of digestion. Their or- for gout. Why, if she ate an apple, which gans, specially their organs which happen was the least acid of fruits, she was sure to be out of order, are discussed with the to feel it in her fingers the next day. Whereunseemly freedom of a patent-medicine ad- upon Amy, thinking perhaps that it was vertisement. Last week I lunched with Amy her duty as hostess to fall in with the huMiddleton. Alice' Alison opened the ball mor of her guests, suddenly remarked that by asking Mrs. Tom Butcher if Dr. Phil- apples were the most indigestible things the lips allowed her to eat grape-fruit. You earth produced. If she ate the smallest see, we made an early start. Mrs. Butcher piece of one, it went nowhere at all, at least might have said yes or no, and closed the sub- nowhere that it should have gone. It hung, ject; instead of which she plunged raptu- like Mohammed's coffin, in space, and she rously into her diet, and her chalky deposits, felt the pressure for hours. and other things too disagreeable to mention. Now, Sara, I give you my word of honor That started Miss Sedgewick (you know her that I am not exaggerating. And I do think --Tom Sedgewick's aunt, and fearfully such conversations odious. Have we outstout), and she told us about three separate grown the false shame we used to feel at dietaries which had been made out for her in being ill at all, only to wallow unreservedly a year, one by her Philadelphia doctor, one by in our symptoms? Sometimes the wallowher doctor in Carlsbad, and one by a Viennese ing is really comic. I mean when people gout specialist, and which apparently did not who do it are quick-witted enough to see have a single item in common. I thought that the comedy. The other afternoon I asked rather funny, but the humor of the situa- my niece to hand a cup of tea to an elderly tion was marred by Miss Sedgewick's pa- visitor, and the child said reproachfully: thetic endeavor to recall which of the three “Oh, Aunt Agatha, don't interrupt me! I doctors had said she might eat potatoes. She have just found somebody new to whom was still struggling over that point when I can tell my diet." This is the blessed Katharine Kenyon swept the ground from gaiety of youth which gilds even the docunder her faltering feet by announcing that tor's pill; but if the rising generation bea wonderful new man in New York--some- gins dieting at nineteen, I shall be glad to body who treated gout and rheumatism, be spared the conversations of the future. and nothing else-had told her she might Meanwhile I 'll sip my gruel at home, and eat anything she pleased, provided that she confide my ailments to my physician, whose touched no stimulant. Alcohol in any form duty it is, and whose pleasure it ought to was fuel to the Aame, and it arrested, in- be, to hear them. I am like the old grumstead of hastening, as we used to think, the bler in “Robert Elsmere” who said, “In process of absorption. Katharine rather my youth, people talked about Ruskin; now wanted to explain to us just what the pro- they talk about drains." cess of absorption meant, and had gotten as

Your affectionate friend, far as the solvent action of her gastric juice

Agatha Reynolds.

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Being a Sympathetic Consideration of a Common and Depressing Experience


I am

My dear Nephew:

I am not surprised to hear from you in the vein of your letter of May 20. only surprised that you should have left the writing of it so late in your academic course.

The fact is that this is the fourth letter which I have received from a member of your class asking my advice as to his life-work. I think you need not consider yourself singular in the fact that although you have devoted yourself to your university work, as I believe, with fair, if not too blameworthy, conscientiousness, you find yourself no nearer to a decision on this subject in

your senior year than you were as a sopho

I doubt if two thirds of your class, or of any other university class, have made


their minds. The tendencies of college at the present time are not calculated to awaken in a man a distinct desire to go into this or that profession, and one must have a very decided bent early in the course to lead him to shape his work and studies to a definite purpose. So far from taking a conceited view of his position as a graduate, the average man is usually hamstrung by humility, and has his moments of desperate wandering by the canal, considering whether, after all, it has not been a


terrible mistake, this going to college. He ceive from recently graduated young men, finds himself, in Emerson's words,

a very small proportion of whom could be

provided for in these lines of business, even Amid the Muses . . . deaf and dumb; Amid the gladiators, halt and numb.

if every position were made vacant for them.

My suggestion may prove more practicaBut I think you should not consider your ble than at first appears. It is this: You time thrown away by reason of the fact that have formed very strong friendships in colafter four years you are no nearer to what lege, as I judge from the fact of your elecis conventionally required of a man of tion to two societies and from the number twenty-two. You may well be without a of fine fellows whom I have met at your decided leaning toward the law or literature mother's house during vacations. Should or medicine or even finance without being you find among these friends two or three on that account any the less a cultivated others who are in a similar quandary, would man, since you have a mind capable of ad- it not be worth while for you to consider justment to any work it may have to do. the organization of a joint-stock company Don't make a mistake: a college education for the purpose of helping one another to a -presuming you have n't forgot to get one firmer foothold in life? In other things be- will make you fitter for any sort of work. sides hunting burglars, two or three timidi

It is n't perhaps the fault of the univer- ties may make a total of boldness. Could sity that you find yourself in this situation, you not undertake something together, not --though it might well give fuller considera- exactly as purse-companions, but as parttion to the subject,—and 'the fact that you ners ? For example, could you not raise are not in robust health makes it all the enough money to buy or lease land in the more desirable that you should have the as- Northwest for a fruit ranch? Whatever sistance of your friends in working out might be your individual weakness or something practical at this time. How sym- strength, it would be supplemented or utilpathetically and how wisely your father ized by some quality in your comrades. And would have dealt with your dilemma! I your pride and your mutual obligations remember how he loved and helped young would spur you to your best. If the experipeople. He was very different from a wo- ment should not prove a great success durman I knew who, during Jack Llewellyn's ing the first year, you would all have had apprentice-time, when he was hard at work at least a twelvemonth of vigorous outdoor at his writing and needed all the encour- life, a touch of reality and experience in agement of family and friends, kept say- dealing with various kinds of men, a better ing, "Why does n't he take a salaried knowledge of the resources of your country, position and earn a living?" I hope she has and the time and opportunity to work out forgotten this, now that Jack has made his something else for yourselves. This last may "hit" and more than a competence.

seem to you rather poor consolation, but Well, I have a suggestion for you. No, sometimes the pause before the active work it is n't that you should “take to ink.” of life is as important as an interval in music. When you 've something to say, you 'll have I 've spoken of the fruit ranch, almost at plenty of opportunity to be heard. And random; no doubt you could hit upon someeven if you were ready for the literary life, thing else. The point is, to give reality to you could pursue that with the smallest ma- comradeship. What is the value of all the terial equipment-only pen, ink, and paper. four years of college intimacies—to the culUnless you have to, don't rush into that tivation of which so much of scholarship is crowd. Usually the weeks about commence- sacrificed-if in such an emergency it canment-time are busy ones for the editors and not be drawn upon to advantage you all? publishers of this country by reason of the

Affectionately yours, large number of applications which they re

Walter Cripplegate.

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was Benjamin Bejoram sailed

The airship Buzzard Queen;
Its run was 'Frisco and New York;

Its color, clover green.
The boldest man was Skipper Ben,

Who such vocation dares;
But though he cruised the atmosphere,

It never gave him airs.
Now westward bound, o'er Kansas State,

The good ship swept along;
The skipper smoked a stogie stout
And hummed a little

When right ahead a frightful cloud

Came rolling into view.
"Oh, let us luff our steering-vane!”

Besought the startled crew.
But Skipper Ben rebuked with: "Fie!

Ye chicken-hearts, avaunt!
There lifts not any cloud in sky

The Buzzard Queen can daunt.” So slickers donned now every man,

As drove the vessel on;

The skipper not one jot he veered

From that dread portent yon. Till suddenly they saw too late

With what that portent swarmed:
This mighty cloud which spread before

Of grasshoppers was formed !
The Buzzard Queen enveloped was

In less time than I tell,
As thick upon her green expanse

Those hungry 'hoppers fell!
And by a hundred thousand jaws

Thus greedily beset, The Buzzard Queen, and crew, and all,

Here in mid-air were et! The mangled remnants dropped to earth,

A shower of steel and bones
(And killed a yellow Kansas dog

Belonging to one Jones).
And this the end encountered by

The airship Buzzard Queen;
Remember, skippers, and avoid

That fatal color, green.





Within the shadow of the sail,

I and my love sit nigh. “Dear one, () dearest one," I say

"Duck!" comes the captain's cry. A moment more, I feel secure,

I will my heart speak out: “Dear one, O dearest one," I say

“Duck!" comes the captain's shout. I try a thousand times and one

My heart's true love to tell; Each time, oh, curses on that sail “Duck!" comes the captain's yell.

A new house seemed the natural thing

When John had made his modest pile. So first we wrote an endless string

Of "must haves.” Then we studied style.

John favored shingles. I love tile
For roofs, but John thinks plaster 's cold,

And brick 's too stubborn. So I smile.
"I think we 'd better stand the old.”
Nan likes colonial, with a wing,

Tom saw a villa on the Nile"A corker!” he declares. I cling

To baths and sleeping porches, while

John 's firm for fireplaces. Oh, I 'll
Be bound no house will ever hold

The things we want! Though we revile,
I think we 'd better stand the old.
Our lot 's unbought; we 're balancing

'Twixt hill and valley sites. "A mile From town,” rules John, “where birds will

A pool, a pergola, a dial."

For me the city has its wile.
Who 'd think such problems would unfold!

Well, though it is a daily trial,
I think we 'd better stand the old.



I HAVE stolen a look
In the sibyl's book,
I have seen the back of a star,
The panther sleek
I have heard her speak,
I have slept in the jinnee's jar,
In the sweet-pea's snood
I have honey brewed,
On the python ridden to war,
I have fetched the spring
On the blue-bird's wing-
Oh, my magic goes long and far;
But I 'm all o'erthrown
By the charm you own
And the magical thing you are!

Friend, do not trust (put this on file)

Your dream to wood or stone; untold
The snares that builders' steps beguile:

You 'd far, far better stand the old.



(Scene: A suburban parlor. The visitor rises.)

“And now I must go, for I have n't forgot- but this time I thought I would, and the ten that you have a sewing-woman this consequence was that it was a perfect botch. morning, which means that you have n't a I did succeed, it is true, in getting a piece for minute to spare; for my experience is that the sleeve that was remarkably like, considthey are all alike and liable to make the ering it was entirely different, -plain roses most ridiculous mistakes if you leave them instead of moss, and another background alone for a second, and even if you don't, altogether-so much so that everybody that which I never do myself in any circum- I apologized to for it said they had n't nostances. As for cutting every single, solitary ticed it, which was very gratifying, of course; trouser leg for the same side, they make a but I never could bear the dress myself, and practice of it, which is a comparatively neither could my husband, though I 'm sure small matter if you can match the goods- I don't know why, and I doubt if he did. though of course it 's always as provoking "You know how men are; they take such as it can be; but once I had the sweetest unreasonable likes and dislikes! It certainly Howered organdie ruined that war-pink was n't the sleeve with him, for if the whole moss-roses climbing on sort of porch pillars dress had been different he would n't have in gray and green on a white background - thought it mattered a particle; and he probaperfectly lovely, and it was a remnant, and bly considered the sleeve an improvement not another serap to be found, though I even, for he never could bear moss-roses, looked everywhere.

though they are a perfect passion with me, "What? Oh, for myself, of course, though and I never will be satisfied until I have a I don't often have my dresses made at home; bush of my own. I have set out fully half

He says

a dozen, and they have all died.

my family were worthy people or respectathey look like cheap china, but I believe it ble people or good, honest people, Mrs. is really an excuse because he hates so to Sykes did n't remember which; but, anyhow, bother with planting things out, and I never it was perfectly horrid, and not true at all. will dig myself, I'm so desperately afraid of Why, my fatherearthworms-fishing-worms, the children "Oh, I expect to go back where we were

last summer. My husband always leaves me the burden of choosing, -he says one place is about as bad as another,- but he does say that we might as well go to the Browns' again as fly to ills we know not of; that 's what Shakspere says, you know, and I think it 's very sensible, particularly in the case of children. They are a nice, quiet old couple: two souls with not a single thought, my husband says, but that is not so at all; I never saw better vegetables, and

"Yes, indeed—just as busy as I can be getting ready; but all next week I expect to have a sewing-woman myself, and then

"No, indeed; no time for anything. Mrs. Tompkins says supervising them is too much like Egyptian bondage for her, and she is n't going to have any more sewing done in the house except what she does herself. Her experience has been worse than mine. Miss Jinks cut an entire dress wrong side out for her and utterly

"Yes, Miss Jinks. You don't mean to say you 've got her! Why

"Oh, they would have tried turning it, of course, if turning had been any use, but it was n't, not the least in the world; she just had to make two waists of it, identically alike, which was the greatest pity, because her things are always longer wearing out than anybody's I ever saw, and those two looked liked one that was simply going to last forever; though all clothes are mortal,

of course, as I know to my cost, particularly "I'M SO DESPERATELY AFRAID OF children's stocking knees. EARTHWORMS'"

"What? Oh, the most careless I ever

saw! I do wish I could have warned you, call them. One of the very first things my

though I would n't injure Miss Jinks for little Wellington learned to say was 'fishing

the world. It is n't that she does n't know, worm.' He always said it when he wanted you understand; it is just that she does n't to be very bad, and my husband said it was put her mind on what she is doing. Even if a form of profanity, and I ought to whip you sit right by her and give her the most him for such language. But I did n't know minute directions, she has a kind of dazed whether you could really consider it lan- look, as if she was n't half taking it in. I guage, and, anyhow, I had n't the heart to would n't trust her myself with anything whip him, and as for my husband, he simply I was particular about any sooner than I laughed at him; you know men never will would my little Elizabeth; in fact, she take any responsibility. I often say I have has n't half as much common sense: but the whole management; and as for choosing then, if I do say it that should n't, that child where we will go the summer-where is really remarkable--so practical, so judiare you going, by the way? Oh, are you? cious! For instance, whenever I give her a I hear there was a very motley crowd there little money to spend for herself when she

Mrs. Baker says so; but then is out with me, instead of squandering it she is so motley herself I don't think she perfectly at random as most children do, she need talk about anybody else. But that 's always says to the man at the counter, or always the way. Do you know, she actually the woman, if it is a woman, 'What is the had the impudence to tell Mrs. Sykes that price of your ten-cent dolls?' or 'What is



Drawn by Mark Fenderson

last year.

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