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Dan here address'd his guide,- -“ Pray, fly more down,

For I cannot as yet descry the earth;
And when I can discern sweet Bantry's town,

(The darling place from whence I take my birth,A spot, I can assure you, of renown,

And where there's many a hospitable hearth) I'll shew

you where I live, and you can pöp Down to the door with me, and let me drop."

7. “ Right well I know the place,” the bird replied,

“ And every rock that guards its wond'rous bay, And often, when I feel inclined to ride

Upon the blast, I make that course my way,
And dash along Glangariffe's woody side,

And sometimes dally there the live-long day
At other times, ere you from bed have risen,
I take a turn or two around the MIZEN.


8. A dangerous rock it is,” quoth Dan, “I know,

When the wind something southward sets from west; And many a merry soul, both friend and foe,

Has made this bay his watery road to resto
“ Twice fifteen men I once saw dash'd below,"

Exclaim'd the goose ;—“'twas there I had my nest
For full three years; but truly, such a shock
Made me desert my long-frequented rock.".

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9. Indeed,” says Dan, we sometimes have a wreck Much nearer home; and though I cannot say

; That I would wish one sailor broke his neck,

Or that the crew had aught but fairest play, Yet when there's rum or sugar at your beck,

He must be mad who'd not take both away; For, if the wind will dash them on the shore, We haste to save the cargo-nothing more."

10. With chat like this, the pair pursued their way,

Apparently with Daniel's approbation; The noble goose indeed seem'd quite au fait

At free and gentlemanly conversation ;

* See Dr Coplestone, and T. D. on Necessitarianism.

The same, in fact, that we hear every day,

When, in the sweet, though tiresome situation
Of sitting next a girl, we're bound to find

Small talk and news to occupy her mind.

And here, to bring my tale to due perfection,

I should inform my friends the route they took ;
But as I have for them some small affection,

And always for their approbation look,
I shall not pen just now, for their inspection,

Words that their throats, I think, could never brook ;
But lest I should be blamed even by a stranger,
I'll give a few that will not jaws endanger.

They bravely sped o'er Thoumuldheeshig's* plain,

And cross'd the summit of Glendeeloch's mount;
Scudded along +Lord Bantry's rich demesne,

And poised a moment o’er Bosfordha's fount;
Then dash'd above the wilds of dark Drishane,

And other grounds too tedious now to count.
For why should I such information purvey,
For those who can procure Hor. Townsend's survey?

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'Twas here Dan first obtain'd a glimpse of land;

But what the place, he knew no more than he
Who dwells among the Antipodean band,

That walk upon their heads so merrily.
Again he groans, and, slipping up his hand

From off the tail, grasps fast in agony.
The goose's wing, and sobbing like a child,
With trembling accents, and with features wild,

Asks in submissive terms the gander's route,

And whither he was going : “ Home, my lad ;
To take you home."-" Oh! Lord, sir, you are out

Much in your reck’ning, and you'd make me glad,
If you'd just stop yourself, and turn about,

For none that were not altogether mad
Would seek for Bantry in a place like this.
“ Be quiet, Dan, the way I shall not miss.'

“ But sure I know where Bantry's very well,

And this is not the road. Oh my! Oh my !||
I think that all of you came out of hell,

To use a Christian this way in the sky;
I'd rather sure that from the moon I fell,

Than be this shuttlecock. God bless you, try
And fly down lower. Oh! I knew, I knew,

rogues were all one party. Alleluh !

• Places about Bantry-bay.

+ The family, at the date of this poem, was not ennobled ; but then, as now, it was good.

Survey of Co. Cork, by Rev. Hor. Townsend the best work of the kind extant. # A Hibernian Lamentation, corresponding with the Italian rhyme, which Vallancey would say was derived from it.

§ An exclamation not to be confounded with Alleluia, it being rather different

16. “ Och ! now I see you plainly want my life,

And I may just as well be murder'd here; So let me drop upon the rocks; my wife

Will find me out, and fetch the parish bier, And wake me, notwithstanding all our strife; So let me drop down straight there, do you

hear? And when they find my carcase cold and bloody, The folks will mind my brats, the priest, poor Judy."

The goose made no reply-but journey'd on,

Silent and calm as infancy asleep;
And now the travellers o'er land had gone,

And moved above the bosom of the deep,
The mighty deep, whose glorious surface shone

One boundless mirror ; while the sails that sweep
Along its surface in perspective seem,
Like little motes within the solar beam.

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18. And here could Contemplation fill her soul,

And weave her holy deep imaginings;
Here as the ever-living waters roll,

Could Fancy soar upon her airy wings
To other worlds that “ gild the glowing pole,”

As Pope (whom Bowles says is no poet) sings.
(These controversies sure the devil sent them
To bother us with *Byron, Bowles, and Bentham.)

19. This would have been a famous time for judging

Whether the ocean's picturesque or not,
When on its surface not a ship is budging,

Nor aught its clear unruffled face to blot ;
Byron and Bowles, I fear, would then be grudging

Dan, if he cut so Gordian-like a knot.
They need not fear. Dan ne'er read Aristotle ;
His taste being solely given to the bottle.

20. “ This evening," blubber'd Dan, “ I had no notion,

When I left home, to take a cup of ale,
That I'd be thus a-soaring 'bove the ocean,

Stuck to the feathers of a goose's tail;
Oh! then I promise if I e'er this woe shun,

Never to taste a drop at any meal:
But 'tis all over-I'm half froze”-A groan
Bursts from his heart, a piteous Hullagone.

21. And now the bird had wing'd it far away

Over the waste of waters. Not a stain,
Or spot of land, deform’d the mighty bay,

But all was one immeasureable main,
As calm as lake in summer's mid-noon ray,

Parent alike of pleasure and of pain,
One day of thousand deaths the mighty spring,
The next a pillow for the Zephyr's wing.

* Authors of certain pamphlets noticed by us. C. N.

As for myself, I own I'd feel inclined

To visit foreign parts : could I provide
That we should always have a favouring wind,

I would not care so much about the tide.
Just to a tittle it would suit my mind

On nice smooth water merrily to ride,
And as at sea I always eat much more
Than when on land, I'd have of prog good store.

On these conditions I should like to take

A trip around* the world like Captain Cook.”
It would be just a pretty sort of freak,

And then I could endite a handsome book.
Some dozen leaves of manuscript would make

A good sized quarto, if we only took
Some pains to put a type, round, tall, and large in,
And leave about a half a foot of margin.t

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I'd like to visit China very much,

And crack a bottle with a Mandarine ;
I'd like to rove through Russia, at least such

Places as where Circassians can be seen ;
I should not care a damn about the Dutch,

Though I must own I love their racy gin:
No Spain for me, though raised to be a Grandee;
But France I always relish'd for its Brandy.

I'd wish to spend a month in Italy

For many reasons. There the wine is good ;
The dark-eyed damas are all frauk and free;

But I am told they overboil their food.
In Switzerland they don't live jollily,

And mountaineerst are somehow always rude.
But lest my readers should not like my taste,
Back to my tale I make all proper haste.

The goose, as I remark'd before, bad fled
Some dozen leagues to sea,

and Daniel

In thought at least his frame a wat’ry bed;

When steering forward, dashing back the wave,
A ship along the foaming waters sped :

Dan here began to bawl. “Oh! save, Oh! save
A Christian from a wat’ry grave,” he cried
To those below, when he the vessel spied.

She seem'd a cutter from the west of France,

Seventy ton burthen, thirteen hands on board,
Which drove a trade 'twixt th’ Irish coast and Nantz,

With silks and lace, but most with brandy stored.
Close to the wind she lay; a single glance

Would see 'twas Bantry she was making tow'rd.
Her sides were painted black, she lay quite low,
And both for reasons which perhaps you know,

* Either Whistlecraft stole this from me, or I from Whistlecraft. I leave it to the reader to decide. + Charta impressorum maxima, lineæ, ubi Apparent raræ nantes in margine vasto.

Epil. to Phormio at Westminster School. # Witness the Gallovegian, and other Borderers.

In fact she was a smuggler. At that time

France did with us a great deal in that way,
But at this period when I pen my rhyme,

'Tis all given up-extinguish'd I may say.
The war has changed the taste, and we must chime

In with the times, and smuggle what will pay.
Instead of lace and silk for those who lack hose,*
What we run now is commonly tobaccoes.

Dan roar'd, but might have roar'd for ever there;

None could have heard his wailing or lament;
He then address'd the goose in suppliant prayer,

And begg’d him to have pity and relent ;
But he might just as well address the air,

For still the bird on wing expanded went.
“ Then, since you'll neither travel down nor stop,
Will you be kind enough to let me drop ?”.

Pray, don't be foolish, Dan !” exclaimed the goose ;

“ You can't be in your senses,-you'd be drown'd.
I do not care," quoth Dan," I see no use

In staying here, and, if I fell on ground,
I must be dash'd to bits; oh! don't refuse;

The crew perhaps will catch me safe and sound.
So open just your claw and let me tumble !
I'll trust in God, with faith sincere and humble.”

“ Had you not better let some body fall,

To ascertain the spot whereon you'd light?
Some piece of money, though it were but small,

Would be sufficient.”—Dan search'd left and right,
But not a farthing could he find at all,

Or aught to drop. « They're going out of sight,
I'll try my chance; oh! dear sir, let me go,
Or I shall never reach the ship below.”+

* Silk stockings were a principal article of contraband trade.

+ Here follows Buzzhun's account of the affair, for the benefit of the literati: Fogartius homo erat tam modestus, “ Nil habeo,” inquit. “ Nihil ! O projicias Ut finem verum carminis celaret;

“ Nummulum aliquem auri vel argenti.” Non videar (spero) parum nunc honestus, " Aurum ! Argentum! Unde has divitias Si narrem ut amicus mî narraret.

Mihi ne æs& aheneum habenti ?” Est delicatis auribus infestus;

“Rem aliam quæras.”—“Odepol conficias Fogartius igitur non eum daret ;

Si porto quicquid præter excrementi Sed in Latina possumus loqui clare, Pondus haud parvum, quod contineat venter,

Quod non audemus Anglice susurrare. Et hoc in mare mitterem libenter." Cum Daniel navem videt, missionem Anser “ Merdose" clamans veniam dedit : Petit enixé a duce anserino;

Et braccas Daniel usque ad pedes solvit, 6 Hui !” dixit anser, mox petitionem Strepitu multo atque vi pepedit, Mæreres, si hinc cadere te sino;

Merdamque magni ponderis devolvit Nisi in æquor velis mersionem ;

Territus hoc, somnium statim cedit, Nam super ratem sumus non omnino. (Nam somnium erat) oculos resolvit, Dejiciens aliquid experiare,

Et ait, « Quam fui astro malo natus Utrum in navem caderes an mare.” Obdormio ebrius, surgoqué cacatus.”

The learned reader will remember a somewhat similar conclusion to a story in Poggio's Facetiæ.

# Anglice a brass farthing.


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