While woman, sense and nature's easy fool, ROWE. STERLING AND MRS. HEIDELBERG. Sterl. No fish? Why the pond was dragged but yesterday morning-There's carp and tench in the boat. Pox on't! if that dog Lovewell had any thought, he wou'd have brought down a turbot, or some of the land-carriage mackrell. Mrs. Heidel. Lord, brother, I am afraid his lordship and sir John will not arrive while it is light. Sterl. I warrant you. But, pray, sister Heidelberg, let the turtle be dress'd to morrow, and some venison --and let the gardener cut some pineapples some ice. and get out I'll answer for wine, I warrant youI'll give them such a glass of champagne, as they never drank in their lives-no, not at a duke's table. Mrs. Heidel. Pray now brother, mind how you behave. I am always in a fright about you with people of qualaty. Take care, that you don't fall asleep directly after supper, as you commonly do. Take a good deal of snuff: and that will keep you awake-and don't burst out with your horrible loud horselaughs. It is monstrous wulgar. Sterl. Never fear, sister! CLANDESTINE MARRIAGE STERLING, LORD OGLEBY, AND CANTON. Sterl. I hope, my lord, that your lordship slept well in the night I believe there are no better beds in Europe than I have—I spare no pains to get them, nor money to buy them - His majesty, God bless him, don't sleep upon a better out of his palace; and if I said in, too, I hope no treason, my lord. Lord Og. Your beds are like every thing else about you-incomparable! They not only make one rest well, but give one spirits, Mr Sterling. Sterl. What say you, then, my lord, to another walk in the garden? You must see my water by daylight, and my walks, and my slopes, and my clumps, and my bridge, and my flow'ring trees, and my bed of Dutch tulips. —~ Matters look'd but dim last night, my lord. I feel the dew in my great toe but I would put on a cut shoe, that I might be able to walk you about — I may be laid up to morrow. Lord Og. I pray Heaven you may! [Aside. Lord Og. I was saying, sir, that I was in hopes of seeing the young ladies at breakfast: Mr. Sterling, they are, in my mind, the finest tulips in this part of the world, he, he, he! Can. Bravissimo, my lor! ha, ha, he! Sterl. They shall meet your lordship in the garden we won't lose our walk for them; I'll take you a little round before breakfast, and a larger before dinner, and in the evening you shall go the grand tour, as I call it, * * * * * But, my lord, I will wait upon you in the garden: we have but little a time to breakfast,-I'll go for my hat and cane, fetch a little walk with you, my lord, and then for the hot rolls and butter! [Exit. Lord Og. I shall attend you with pleasure Hot rolls and butter in July! I sweat with the thoughts of it— What a strange beast it is! CLANDESTINE MARRIAGE. LORD OGLEBY, STERLING, MRS. HEIDEL- Lord Og. Great improvements, indeed, Mr. Sterling! wonderful improvements! The four seasons in lead, the flying Mercury, and the basin, with Neptune in the middle, are in the very extreme of fine taste. You have as many rich figures as the man at Hyde Park Corner. Sterl. The chief pleasure of a country house is to make improvements, you know, my lord. I spare no expense, not I This is quite another-guess sort of a place than it was when I first took it, my lord. We were surrounded with trees. I cut down above fifty to make the lawn before the house, and let in the wind and the sun-smack smooth- as you see. Then I made a greenhouse out of the old laundry, and turned the brewhouse into a pinery.-The high octagon summer house, you see yonder, is raised on the mast of a ship, given me by an East India captain, who has turned many a thousand of my money. It commands the whole road. All the coaohes, and chariots, and chaises, pass and repass under your eye. I'll mount you up there in the afternoon, my lord. Lord Og. No, I thank you, Mr. Sterling. Sterl. 'Tis the pleasantest place in the world to take a pipe and a bottle, and so you shall say, my lord. Lord Og. Ay, or a bowl of punch, or a can of flip, Mr. Sterling! for it looks like a cabin in the air.—If lying chairs were in use, the captain might make a voyse to the Indies in it still, if he had but a fair wind. 4 Can. Ha, ha, ha, ha! Mrs. Heidel. My brother's a little comical in his ideas, my lord! - But you'll excuse him. I have a little Gothic dairy, fitted up entirely in my own taste. In the evening I shall hope for the honour of your lordship's company to take a dish of tea there, or a sullabub warm from the COW. Lord Og. I have every moment a fresh opportunity of admiring the elegance of Mrs. Heidelberg—the very flower of delicacy, and cream of politeness. -- Mrs. Heidel. O, my lord! [Leering at Lord Oglėby. Lord Og. O, madam! —[Leering at Mrs. Heidelberg. Sterl. How d' ye like these close walks, my lord? Lord Og. A most excellent serpentine! It forms a perfect maze, and winds like a true lover's knot. Sterl. Ay, here's none of your straight lines here but all taste zig-zag—crinkum-crankum — in and out -right and left to and again-twisting and turning like a worm, my lord! Lord Og. Admirably laid out, indeed, Mr. Sterling! one can hardly see an inch beyond one's nose any where in these walks. -You are a most excellent economist of your land, and make a little go a great way. It lies together in as small parcels as if it was placed in pots out at your window in Gracechurch Street. Can. Ha, ha, ha, ha! Lord Og. What d'ye laugh at, Canton? Can. Ah! que cette similitude est drole! so clever what you say, mi lor! Lord Og. [To Fanny] You seem mightily engaged, madam. What are those pretty hands so busily employed about? Funny. Only making up a nosegay, my lord! Will your lordship do me the honour of accepting it? [Presenting it. Lord Og. I'll wear it next my heart, madam ! I see the young creature dotes on me! [Apart. Miss Sterl. Lord, sister; you've loaded his lordship with a bunch of flowers as big as the cook or the nurse carries to town, on a Monday morning, for a beaupot. Will your lordship give me leave to present you with this rose, and a sprig of sweet briar? Lord Og. The truest emblems of yourself, madam! all sweetness and poignancy. — A little jealous, poor soul! [Apart. Sterl. Now, my lord, if you please, I'll carry you to see my ruins. Mrs. Heidel. You'll absolutely fatigue his lordship with over walking, brother! We're in the garden of perpetual spring, youth, [Leering at the women. Lord Og. Not at all, madam! Eden, you know; in the region of and beauty. Mrs. Heidel. Quite the man of qualaty, I vow and pertest. [Apart. Can. Take a my arm, my lor! [Lord Ogleby leans on him. Sterl. I'll only show his lordship my ruins, and the cascade, and the Chinese bridge, and then we'll go in to breakfast. Lord Og. Ruins, did you say, Mr. Sterling? Sterl. Ay, ruins, my lord! and they are reckoned very fine ones, too. You would think them ready to tumble on your head. It has just cost me a hundred and fifty pounds to put my ruins in thorough repair. This way, if your lordship pleases. Lord Og. [Going, stops.] What steeple's that we see yonder?—the parish church, I suppose. Sterl. Ha, ha, ha! that's admirable. It is no church at all, my lord! it is a spire, that I have built against a tree, a field or two off, to terminate the prospect. One must always have a church, or an obelisk, or something to |