The Undertaker for either Play-house may have an Opera written by him; or, if it shall fuit their Design, a Satire upon Opera's; both ready for next Winter.

This is to give Notice, that Richard Farloe, M. A. well known for his Acuteness in Diffection of dead Bodies, and bis great Skill in Ofteology, has row laid by that Practice; and having, by great Study and much Labour, acquired the Knowledge of an Antidote for all the most common Maladies of the Stomach, is removed, and may be applied to, at any Time of the Day, in the South Entrance from Newgate-street into Chrift's Hospital.

N263.

I

Saturday, Septemb. 3. 1709.

White's Chocolate-houfe, Septemb. 2.

Of the Enjoyment of Life with Regard to others.

Have ever thought it the greatest Diminution to the Roman Glory imaginable, that in their Inftitution of Publick Triumphs, they led their Enemies in Chains when they were Prifoners. It is to be allowed, that doing all Honour to the Superiority of Heroes above the reft of Mankind, muft needs conduce to the Glory and Advantage of a Nation; but what fhocks the Imagination to reflect upon, is, that a polite People should think it reasonable, that an unhappy Man, who was no Way inferior to the Victor but by the Chance of War, fhould be led like a Slave at the Wheels of his Chariot. Indeed, thefe other Circumftances of a Triumph, That it was not allowed in a Civil War, left Part of it should be in Tears, while the other was making Acclamations; That it fhould not be granted, except fuch a Number were flain in Battle; That the General fhould be difgraced who made a falfe Mufter of his Dead: Thefe, I fay, had great and politick Ends in their being establifh'd, and tended to the apparent Benefit of the Commonwealth. But this Behaviour to the Conquered had no Foundation in Nature or Policy, only to gratify the Infolence

Infolence of an haughty People, who triumphed over barbarous Nations, by acting what was fit only for thofe very Barbarians to practife. It feems wonderful, that they who were fo refined as to take care, that to compleat the Honour done to the victorious Officer, . no Power fhould be known above him in the Empire on the Day of hisTriumph, but that the Confuls themselves fhould be but Guests at his Table that Evening, could not take it into Thought to make the Man of chief Note among his Prifoners one of the Company. This would ha e improved the Gladness of the Occasion, and the Victor had made a much greater Figure, in that no other Man appeared unhappy on his Day, than because no other Man appeared great.

BUT we will wave at prefent fuch important Incidents, and turn our Thoughts rather to the familiar Part of human Life, and we Thall find, that the great Bufinefs we contend for, is in a lefs Degree what thofe Romans did on more folemn Occafions, to triumph over our Fellow-Creatures; and there is hardly a Man to be found, who would not rather be in Pain to appear happy, than be really happy and appear miferable. This Men attempt by fumptuous Equipages, fplendid Houfes, numerous Servants, and all the Cares and Pursuies of an ambitious or fashionable Life.

Bromeo and Tabio are particularly Ill-wifhers to each other, and Rivals in Happiness. There is no Way in Nature fo good to procure the Efteem of the one, as to give him little Notices of certain fecret Points, wherein the other is uneasy. Gnatho has the Skill of doing this, and never applauds the Improvements Bromeo has been many Years making, and ever will be making; but he adds, Now this very Thing was my Thought when Tabio was pulling up his Underwood, yet he never would hear of it; but now your Gardens are in this Pofture, he is ready to hang himself. Well, to be fincere, that Situation of his can never make an agreeable Seat: He may make his House and Appurtenances what he pleafes; but he cannot remove them to the fame Ground where Bromeo ftands; and of all Things under the Sun, a Man that is happy at a Second-hand is the most monftrous. 'Tis a very

frange

ftrange Madness (anfwers Bromeo) if a Man on thefe Occafions can think of any End but pleafing himself. As for my Part, if Things are convenient, I hate all Oftentation. There is no End of the Folly of adapting our Affairs to the Imagination of others. Upon which, the next Thing he does, is to enlarge whatever he hears his Rival has attempted to imitate him in ; but their Misfortune is, that they are in their Time of Life, in their Eftates, and in their Understandings equal, fo that the Emulation may continue to the laff Day of their Lives. As it ftands now, Tabio has heard Bromeo has lately purchafed Two Hundred a-year in the Annuities fince he laft fettled the Account of their Happinefs, in which he thought himself to have the Ballance. This may feem. a very fantastical Way of Thinking in thefe Men; but. there is nothing fo common, as a Man's endeavouring rather to go further than fome other Perfon towards an eafy Fortune, than to form any certain Standard that would make himself happy..

Will's Coffee-houfe, Septemb.2..

Mr. Daltile has been this Evening very profufe of his Eloquence upon the Talent of turning Things into Ridicule; and feemed to fay very juftly, That there was generally in it fomething too difingenuous for the Society of liberal Men, except it were governed by the Circumstances of Perfons, Time, and Place.. This Talent, continued he, is to be used as a Man does his Sword, not to be drawn but in his own Defence, orto bring Pretenders and Impoftors in Society to a true Light. But we have feen this Faculty fo miftaken, that the Burlesque of Virgil himself has paffed, among Men of little Tafte, for Wit; and the nobleft Thoughts. that can enter into the Heart of Man, levelled with Ribaldry and Bafenefs: Tho' by the Rules of Juftice, no Man ought to be ridiculed for any Imperfection, who. does not fet up for eminent Sufficiency in that Way wherein he is defective. Thus Cowards, who would hide themselves by an affected Terror in their Mien and Drefs; and Pedants, who would fhew the Depth of their Knowledge by a fupercilious Gravity, are equally the Objects of Laughter. Not that they are in themfelves ridiculous for their Want of Courage, or Weak

nefs

nefs of Understanding, but that they feem infenfible of their own Place in Life, and unhappily rank themselves with thofe, whofe Abilities, compared to their Defects, make them contemptible.

AT the fame time, it must be remarked,That Rifibility being the Effect of Reason, a Man ought to be expelled from fober Company, who laughs without it. Ha ha! fays Will. Truby, who fate by, Will any Man pretend to give me Laws when I fhould laugh, or tell me what I fhould laugh at? Look ye, anfwer'd Humphry Slyboots, you are mightily mistaken; you may, if you pleafe, make what Noife you will, and no Body can hinder an English Gentleman from putting his Face into what Pofture he thinks fit; but, take my Word for it, that Motion which you now make with your Mouth open, and the Agitation of your Stomach, which you relieve by holding your Sides, is not Laughter: Laughter is a more weighty Thing than you imagine; and I' tell you a Secret, You never did laugh in your Life; and truly I am afraid you never will, except you take great Care to be cured of thofe Convulfive Fits. by left us, and when he had got Two Yards from us, Well, (faid he) you are ffrange Fellows; and was immediately taken with another Fit.

Tru

THE Trubies are a well-natur'd Family, whofe particular Make is fuch, that they have the fame Pleasure. out of Good-Will, which other People have in that. Scorn which is the Caufe of Laughter: Therefore their bursting into the Figures of Men, when laughing, proceeds only, from a general Benevolence they are born with; as the Slyboots fmile only on the greatest Occafion of Mirth; which Difference is caufed rather from a different Structure of their Organs, than that one is lefs moved than the other. Iknow Sowerly frets inwardly, when Will. Truby laughs at him; but when I meet him, and he bursts out, I know 'tis out of his abundant Joy to fee me, which he expreffes by that Vociferation which is in others Laughter.. But I fhall defer confidering this Subject at large, till I come to my Treatife of Ofcitation, Laughter, and Ridicule..

From

From my own Apartment, September 2. THE following Letter being a Panegyrick upon me for a Quality which every Man may attain, an Acknowledgment of his Faults; I thought it for the Good of my Fellow-Writers to publish it.

SIR,

T must be allowed, That Efquire Bickerstaff is of all Authors the most ingenious. There are few, very few, that will own themselves in a Miftake, tho' all the World fee them to be in downright Nonfenfe. You'll be pleased, Sir, to pardon this Expreffion, for the fame Reafon for which you once defired us to excuse you when you feem'd any thing dull. Moft Writers, like the Generality of Paul Lorrain's Saints, feem to place a peculiar Vanity in dying hard. But you, Sir, to fhew a good Example to your Brethren, have not only confeffed, but of your own Accord mended the Indictment. Nay, you have been fo good-natur'd as to discover Beauties in it, which, I'll affure you, he that drew it, never dreamed of: And to make your Civility the more accomplish'd, you have honoured him with the Title of your Kinfman, which, though derived by the Left-Hand, he is not a little proud of. My Brother (for fuch Obadiah is) being at prefent very bufy about nothing, has ordered me to return you his fincere Thanks for all these Favours; and, as a fmall Token of his Gratitude, to communicate to you the following Piece of Intelligence, which, he thinks, belongs more properly to you than to any others of our modern Hiftorians.

MADONELLA, who, as 'twas thought, had long fince taken her Flight towards the Atherial Manfions, ftill walks, it feems, in the Regions of Mortality; where he has found, by deep Reflections on the Revolution mentioned in yours of June the 23d, That where early Inftructions have been wanting to imprint true Idea's of Things on the tender Souls of thofe of her Sex, they are never after able to arrive at fuch a pitch of Perfection, as to be above the Laws of Matter and Motion: Laws which are confiderably enforced by the Principles ufually imbibed in the Nurferies and Boarding-Schools. To remedy this Evil, fhe has laid the Scheme of a College for young Damfels; where, inftead of Sciffors, Needles, and Samplers; Pens, Compasses, Quadrants, Books, Manufcripts, Greek, Latin, and Hebrew, are to take up their whole Time. Only on Holidays the Students will,

for