And the other four good district fathers gave quick the consent that was due, And cocked one eye up to the ceiling, and said, “ Them's my sentiments tew.' "Another thing, I must here mention, comes into the question to-day, Concernin' some things in the grammar you're teachin' our gals for to say. My gals is as steady as clockwork, and never give cause for much fear, But they come home from school t'other evenin' a-talkin' such stuff as this here: 'I love,' an'' Thou lovest,' an'' He loves,' an' 'Ye love,' an' 'You love,' an' They—' An' they answered my questions, ‘It's grammar’—'twas all I could get 'em to say. Now if, 'stead of doin' your duty, you're carryin' matters on so As to make the gals say that they love you, it's just all that I want to know; Now Jim, the young heaven-built mechanic, in the dusk of the evening before, Had well-nigh unjointed the stove-pipe, to make it come down on the floor; And the squire bringing smartly his foot down, as a clincher to what he had said, A joint of the pipe fell upon him, and larruped him square on the head. The soot flew in clouds all about him, and blotted with black all the place, And the squire and the other four fathers were peppered with black in the face. The school, ever sharp for amusement, laid down all their cumbersome books, And, spite of the teacher's endeavors, laughed loud at their visitor's looks. And the squire, as he stalked to the doorway, swore oaths of a violet hue; And the four district fathers, who followed, seemed to say, "Them's my sentiments tew." IF YOU WANT "SOMETHING NEW TO SPEAK," GET THE "100 CHOICE SELECTIONS" SERIES, CONTAINING THE LATEST AND BEST good things for Declamation, Recitation, Parlor Reading, &c., in Poetry and Prose, being a happy blending of BRILLIANT ORATORY, THRILLING SENTIMENT, PATHETIC GEMS, and SPARKLING HUMOR. Adapted to the use of LYCEUMS, TEMPERANCE SOCIETIES, EXHIBITION-ROOMS, CHURCH SOCIABLES, ANNIVERSARIES, GRANGES, SOCIAL ENTERTAINMENTS, WINTER GATHERINGS AND FAMILY FIRESIDES. The various numbers of this very popular Series are meeting with unprecedented success, having fairly won the public heart;-and every additional issue is hailed with delight. We venture the assertion that never before has the same variety of choice poetry and prose, grave and humorous, eloquent and sentimental, impassioned and matter-of-fact, been embraced within the space of 180 pages. Every Number complete in itself. Nothing repeated. Price, per Number, Pamphlet edition, 30 cents. Cloth-bound, 75 cents. Mailed free on receipt of price. Send for a sample, and be convinced of their superior merit. A complete List of Contents of all the Numbers will be sent free on application. A COMPLETE LIST OF CONTENTS EMBRACED IN THE ENTIRE SERIES OF ONE HUNDRED CHOICE SELECTIONS, (Nos. 1 to 16 inclusive,) WILL BE FOUND ON THE FOLLOWING PAGES. THE SPEAKER'S GARLAND IN FOUR VOLUMES. Vol. I contains "100 Choice Selections," Nos. 1, 2, 3, 4. Vol. II contains "100 Choice Selections," Nos. 5, 6, 7, 8. Vol. III contains "100 Choice Selections," Nos. 9, 10, 11, 12. Vol. IV contains "100 Choice Selections," Nos. 13, 14, 15, 16. Each Volume of THE SPEAKER'S GARLAND combines Four Numbers of the "100 CHOICE SELECTIONS" Series in one book, arranged under a general heading, and an alphabetical index, printed on beautifully toned paper, and furnished in elegant binding;-containing over 700 pages;-making truly a "Garland" of imperishable flowers, alike useful and ornamental in every Perlor, Reading Club, Library or Forum. Price, per Volume, Green and Gold, $2.00. P. GARRETT & CO., Publishers, For sale by all 708 Chestnut St., Philadelphia. Booksellers and Newsdealers. and 116 E. Randolph St., Chicago. The Famine. Scott and the Veteran. Opportunity for Work. My Lord Tomnoddy. U. S. National Anthem. The Ride from Ghent to Aix. The Dying Soldier. The May Queen. Dedicatory Ode for the Get- Have been received with a degree of favor unequalled by any similar works of the kind published; and, were it necessary, hundreds of testimonials might be given, from leading Magazines, Instructors, Students, and Literary Men throughout the country; but a glance at the list of contents, is the only recommendation needed, to bespeak the favor of every Intelligent reader. Price of each number, pamphlet edition, 30 cts.; cloth bound, 75 cts E. Pluribus Unum. Contents of No. 3. ideas the Life of a People. Dead in the Street. The Bells of Shandon, Sam Weller's Valentine. Regulus to the Roman Senate Which Shall it Be? Lochinvar's Ride. The Drawbridge Keeper. Ward at Shakspeare's Tomb The Burial of Moses. A Frenchman's Flea Powder Billings on "The District In the Other World. Schoolmaster." Shibboleth. Death of the Old Year. Judicial Tribunals. Betty and the Bear. Very Dark. The Fireman. Brutus on Lucretia's Death, The Soldier's Reprieve. Pleading Extraordinary. Eugene Aram's Dream. His Eye was Stern and Wild. The Ruined Merchant, Last Hours of Webster. Poor Voter on Election Day. D. Green's Flying Machine. · Contents of No. 4. God. Which Could I Spare. The Indian Chief's Speech. Loss of the Arctic. William the Conqueror. The Bible and Temperance. A Revolutionary Sermon. John Burns of Gettysburg. The Unbeliever. The Astonished Tippler. Mark Twain's Beef Contract The chief merit of the "100 CHOICE SELECTIONS” SERIES consists in combining so many rare and valuable pieces in such a small and convenient compass, and furnished at prices to suit all. Press On. Contents of No. 5. The Worth of Eloquenos. A Slight Misunderstanding. A Child's Dream of a Star Deeds versus Creeds. The Rescue of Chicago. Harmosan. Blacksmith of Ragenbach, The Existence of a God. The Battle of Ivry. The Blacksmith's Story. The Nantucket Skipper. The Little Church 'round the Sorrow for the Dead. Corner. All's for the Best. A Minister's Pay-Day. Annabel Lee. Deborah Lee.-A Parody. Over the Hills from the Poor Contents of No. 6. Dermot's Parting. Answer to "I am Dying." Heavier the Cross. A. Ward on Woman's Rights. The Old Man in the Stylish Jenkins Goes to a Pic-Nic. Youth and Age. Giles and Abraham. Prayers of Children. A Catastrophe. Mischief Makers. The Last Mile-Stone, The Last Man. The Little Grave. Duty of an American Scholar To Those About to Marry. The Faithful Lovers. The Snow of Age. Life from Death. Difficulty about that Dog. If We Had But Known. A Green Mountain Justice. The Eleventh Hour. Mark Twain on Juvenile Are the Children at Home? Claude Melnotte's Apology. A Night with a Ventriloquiss I Sue for Damages. The Jolly Old Pedagogue. Dreams and Realities. I Have Drank my Last Glass In School Days. The Dying Alchemist. Soliloquy of Richard III. The Silver Wedding. California Obituary. a Where Man should Die. Jerusalem by Moonlight. Deacon Hezekiah. The National Banner. The Frenchman and the Rats |